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  1. #1
    callofduty69 Guest

    Default Need Advise with 10/10

    Hi Everyone,

    This is going to be long.

    I'm not a PUA, however I am very good looking, I'm a suit, and I'm pretty alpha guy. However, I am absolutely rattled and need some unconventional PUA advice because I don't know what to do.

    Started talking to a girl at the office (does the same job I do but different floor) about a month ago. She is the best looking girl in this entire building, literally 10/10 by any guys standard. She is the stereotypical cocky, loud, party girl with some serious self esteem issues as well.

    Started talking to her at a Christmas Dinner, made out, text back and forth since then...started going for coffees during work, smoke breaks etc. Very very resistant to going out on actual dates, and even resistant to meeting up when I'm out at clubs and stuff (only got her to come out again once in a 6 week period). HOWEVER whenever I expressed any indication that if she didn't want to hang out outside of work that it was a waste of time for me- She'd literally argue the point and keep me talking to her. I figured typical hard to get style girl, or she was keeping me in the cue and playing me hard. Was difficult to totally freeze her out because to be honest the hard to get stuff keeps me interested.

    Last night ended up at same club, this is also after a week where I really stepped my game up when I could and she showed alot of 'romantic'/'flirty' interest. Ended up going back to her house, and did the deed . After this she ends up talking alot and basically explaining why she is very resistant to dating me:

    1)Thinks I'm arrogant
    2)Said that she thinks the next guy she is going to date seriously she will end up marrying and this is an issue since I am 25 and she is 27 and she doesn't think I have the same mindset/maturity

    I'm pretty sure I can get her into a 'sex' sort of relationship but I want something more.....How do I navigate this?

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need Advise with 10/10

    Hmmm this is very interesting. There may be other things that could help you that I cannot think of, but I know one thing that will severely change things around for you. To me, it's the magic pill that people look for, but hard to wrap your head around and implement it.

    And the answer is literally my signature quote below my response. (Mind you it's not literally mine. But I forget who wrote it lol.) It basically means that it doesn't matter who is right or wrong, only who has a stronger frame of mind.

    Frames are when two people are looking at the same thing, but different perspectives. Take two people looking at a sunset for instance. One has a pair of purple shades while the other has orange. It's the same sunset right? But difference perceptions. The ability to take the shades away from someone and give them a pair that you prefer is called frame control. I'll use your experience for an example. She says:

    - you are arrogant
    - That you are too young
    - And have a different mindset and are immature

    What makes her right about these things? You may feel she is right about these things about you. But WHY do you feel she is right? Is it because she's hot? Because you value her? What if a woman with pimples, missing teeth and a lazy eye told you the same thing? Would you believe her?

    We tend to accept the frame of someone who we feel has more value than us. Once you realize that you have more value than her you begin to see how imperfect she is and tell her things like

    - She is an idealist
    - She needs constant attention and validation
    - She is too free spirited to be caged
    - Or she wants to find someone that she can express her loyalty to
    - etc.

    You can say pretty much anything. Objective reality only exists because it's the combination of most peoples perceptions. So on an individual level, our perceptions are relative. Not real. And we can re-shape them if those perceptions are strong enough. What perception do you need?

    That YOU are the prize she needs to earn. That you already know she wants to sleep with you and you will only let her if she meets your standards and expectations. That you have more value than her. Do not say this verbally, but this should be your mindset. If your frame is strong enough and all your behavior filters through this mindset then she will realize that you actually have more value than she does and naturally become attracted to you. And as any experienced PUA will tell you, value is purely based on perception. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    callofduty69 Guest

    Default Re: Need Advise with 10/10

    Thanks Batman, I appreciate the post. In summary, by demonstrating value and having a mindset that I am valuable I will see positive change.

    One concern I have is that for whatever reason the value I seem to be demonstrating so far is coming across as arrogance. Does this really mean anything or should I continue as is?

    Open to more responses from the forum!!

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advise with 10/10

    If it's not overdone or prolonged then you should be fine. You want to be like an onion with many layers to you. The more she gets to know you, the more you let her into your personal life. She is discovering new things about you and wants to know more. She is EARNING your interest.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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