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  1. #1
    sherlocki is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Some advice on girl situation

    Have known this girl for about 7 months, seen her quite regulary since she is in my "inner" circle at the university. Was friendsoned, but have been working my way out, think she have me on potential partner. :P

    I started flirting with her in January hoping to get it further than friends.
    Just teasing her a little over text at first, then a little in person.
    At last party i went very hard on her, and she was quite rejective at that point, but seems to be accualy more interested now then before, if that is possible?

    She is a little playful, but also very serius with school stuff, and a little shy.
    One of the IOI i have had is that she said loads of times that she really looked forward to comeing to my place, when i was trowing a party. Been trying to build attraction using playful texts, and she seems to go along with it, in most cases. But i am afraid i am giving the impression that i am chasing her, and i know it should be opposite, though she would never make a move. So i am wondering to what exstend i can do the "i am chasing you" stuff, if she seems to enjoy it? Will this make my chances better or worse?
    I also have a little problem calibrating so i think some of my game kinda surprises her a lot.

    I am wondering from what i write here, do you think it would be better to step down a little and be booring again with her? Maybe make her wonder why i suddenly isnt making any moves on her? Or should i just keep pushing, and make it obvious that i want her?
    One more thing: I don't mind taking some "high risk" chances on this one, as she isn't in my class anymore it doesn't matter if she rejects me.

  2. #2
    DrDan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some advice on girl situation

    I think that you might could stand to, not come across as creepy, but make it known that you are interested in her like that, like you are right from the get-go without being creepy about it. I would say don't ignore her. I think that will just piss her off. (Then again, I think negging is stupid too. Why would somebody be turned on by some insulting douche, immo.) Don't be suddenly nasty. Maybe you could drop some innuendo in there and see if she picks up on it. Parties may be good too. Throw the party. These are good excuses for you to have interested women hanging out after the party if you both are ok with it. At your house.

  3. #3
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    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default "no! Not that but-" boooooommmmm!!!!!

    Hell to the No on that second idea. The second approach makes you come off as needy and coming from a position of scarcity. She will see this, and she will lose interest in you because she sees you as someone who will always be dependent on her. Also, charging in head first is a bad idea because you will scare her and make her think you are creepy.

    So far, it sounds like you're on the right track. Your first idea of backing off is a great idea and usually the right approach. I wouldn't say to necessarily go boring though. Limit your responses to about 20 words or less, and let her try to get you engaged. Also, add some spontaneity with your response times. One message reply within two minutes. Another one, 20 minutes, or even an hour. Make her unable to guess when you're about to get a message back from her. This also shows her that you're busy and have some form of a life.

    Another thing you can do is hit her with some interesting conversations. Generic questions will only get generic answers, and women hate that. Hitting them with a topic out of the clear blue throws them off guard and forces them to really engage in the conversation.

    The most important thing that you have right now is the "I don't care mindset". As long as you maintain this mindset, it makes you more relaxed and able to socialize and play with her with ease. The moment where all of a sudden you really want her, that's where most men just fall apart in an instant.

    Stay strong, be smart, and may the force be with you.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
    DrDan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: "no! Not that but-" boooooommmmm!!!!!

    Variable schedule of reinforcement. Being cool without ignoring either. Yeah. Let us know how it goes.

  5. #5
    sherlocki is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some advice on girl situation

    Thanks, i will keep this in mind!
    I will see her tomorrow as i always walk home with her after jogging (are in same jogging group).
    And maybe i can do something then, even though i find it hard as i cant keep the eye contact while walking. But i think ill try to get in some overt kino, and will try to bring up a "non generic topic" as you said

    What about asking what kind of boys she like? This way i might get a sense of how i should behave to attract her?
    Also if she brings the question back at me i can in a subtile way describe her??

  6. #6
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Cliff Diver

    Quote Originally Posted by sherlocki View Post
    What about asking what kind of boys she like? This way i might get a sense of how i should behave to attract her?
    Also if she brings the question back at me i can in a subtile way describe her??

    Never ask a woman what kind of man she likes. If you want to figure out what kind of man she's aiming for, use the Cube Technique. Neil Strauss does a great example with it on YouTube. I'm sure that there are also other techniques to being able to indirectly figure out, but I have not found them yet.

    If it is a vice versa case where she asks what kind of women you like, this is a very good sign. She's doing this for two reasons. The first is to see whether she falls into your requirements or not. The second is to see if you are truthful and don't just list off qualities about her.

    In the end, you should NEVER change who you are just to satisfy a woman. This comes off as an extreme sign of neediness, and it's just not right. Be yourself, and stand strong for who you are. Women like a man who can disagree with them and stand firm for what they believe in.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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