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  • 1 Post By CallofTheWildman
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Thread: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

  1. #1
    xxyyzz123456 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Hi,

    I'm in a difficult situation. Basically I can get any girl I want - I don't mean to brag, but I am decent looking, I have a university degree in Economics and I play in a fairly successful rock band. About six months ago, I met a girl, who is like me in almost every way - she's stunning, has the same degree from the same university and she's also in a band. We listen to the same music, like the same movies and get along great together.

    However, there are a few problems. She's 6 years older than me (I'm 23, she's 29) and lives in a happy long-time relationship with a guy her age. To further complicate things, I have a serious crush on her.

    I'm not inexperienced with girls, but I would be grateful for any advice on how to hook up with her, I really don't want to screw this up. [I started to study Vin DiCarlo's Pandora's Box theory, she's a Connoisseur (NDR) in case it helps anyone to come up with something.]

  2. #2
    CallofTheWildman's Avatar
    CallofTheWildman is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by xxyyzz123456 View Post
    lives in a happy long-time relationship with a guy her age.
    Why would you want to destroy that?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    PUA isn't about this kind of shit. Move on with your life or find another group of people to help you.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
    Lancevegas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Did you just say you can get any girl you want? Then towards the end of your message you say "im not experienced with girls?". Move on guy.

  5. #5
    ED11356's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by Lancevegas View Post
    Did you just say you can get any girl you want? Then towards the end of your message you say "im not experienced with girls?". Move on guy.
    Yeah, I laughed at that haha.

    And Duke, isn't that what BF Destroyer is for? Not that I would condone it as I would never get involved in a relationship, exception perhaps being if she's in an abusive one and would maybe be breaking up with him anyways.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by ED11356 View Post
    Yeah, I laughed at that haha.

    And Duke, isn't that what BF Destroyer is for? Not that I would condone it as I would never get involved in a relationship, exception perhaps being if she's in an abusive one and is probably breaking up with him anyways.
    No, BF destroyer techniques will do nothing on a relationship if the girl is happy with the relationship. As much as PUA material makes you think that every girl is a whore and will sleep with you if you use the right material, that just isn't true.

    Remember the fundamental rule of being a PUA: Always leave the girl better off than you found her. If you're purposely trying to break up a good relationship just to get with a girl you're not a PUA you're an asshole. But more importantly, being a PUA isn't about getting this one girl, it's about bettering yourself so that you know who you are and you can be happy with yourself.

    This guy is just looking for a quick fix.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  7. #7
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Hey, XYZ move on to the next one. I'm not the one who says next easily (more reading: Rejections are not a bad thing), but I agree with the other members.
    It is possible to break relationships and get the girls, but there has to be something wrong with their relationship, or you have to have something better to offer her which is never a good reason why she would leace that guy! If not then let them be happy!

    If there isn't a real and substantial reason for her leaving him and you get her then be careful as she will do the same to you, cause at times they will give you any reason why they left their bf. Once you learn from experience you will see that it really isn't worth your time. I did brake two relationships and I did think that they were my one-it-is. The first girl gave me the reason that her bf is abusive. A few years later she cheated on me, found a sugar daddy, and told our friends that I was possesive. I now know that no way was her ex abusive.
    2nd girl also left her boyfriend and all the lies she told him, I got them back when she left me. Fortunately I was more experienced and saw the lies coming before they appeared. Didn't make it any less painful though!

    The age difference is not beneficial (still possible, but not beneficial). You simply might not be mature ebough for her.

    If you really like her company and you are getting along really well I would say keep her as a friend. Contrary to popular believe even if you are in the friendzone it is possible to get out of the friendzone when the time is right, i.e. when both of you are a single! Been there and done it, so it is possible!
    Make the impossible possible!

  8. #8
    Casio is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by xxyyzz123456 View Post
    Hi,

    I'm in a difficult situation. Basically I can get any girl I want - I don't mean to brag, but I am decent looking, I have a university degree in Economics and I play in a fairly successful rock band. About six months ago, I met a girl, who is like me in almost every way - she's stunning, has the same degree from the same university and she's also in a band. We listen to the same music, like the same movies and get along great together.

    However, there are a few problems. She's 6 years older than me (I'm 23, she's 29) and lives in a happy long-time relationship with a guy her age. To further complicate things, I have a serious crush on her.

    I'm not inexperienced with girls, but I would be grateful for any advice on how to hook up with her, I really don't want to screw this up. [I started to study Vin DiCarlo's Pandora's Box theory, she's a Connoisseur (NDR) in case it helps anyone to come up with something.]

    Hi my friend. Well... You don't have to worry about these relationships a lot of young couples end up breaking up anyways. But if you are really interested in this girl you can keep her as a friend, avoid the friend zone thing by being flirtatious and showin interest. Don't pick her up though, keep your distance and respect the relationship. Of course I wouldn't recommend that you break up that relationship. I would recommend that you move on because its not worth to stay waiting for somebody who is happy with somebody else. Besides, you are being trained to be a PUA, which will give you the tools to understand women and have the women that you want. You say you are good looking and also have good education. Don't hold all that prize just because you are on an illusion with somebody else. Believe me I've been in this stage: you think she's your other half, you think about marriage and all that but in the end is all an illusion. My best advice based on experience don't hold your time on an illusion. Like they say in my Island(Puerto Rico): "mas alante vive gente y en casa de cemento" which in English sort of means there is "more people living out there and on cemented houses". I suppose that there is thousands of women waiting for you that are even better than this chick which is already taken. Don't waste your time pal.

  9. #9
    xxyyzz123456 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Hi,

    Thank you all for your answers, some of them have been really helpful, I'm probably gonna be friends with her till the time is right. I'm not a native English speaker, so I might have come off as incoherent, but what I meant by "not inexperienced with girls" is that I've had a few long term relationships as well as quite a lot of one night stands (I know it's cliché, but musicians do have a lot of options, especially after a show). Right now I have a lovely girlfirend and I could easily sleep with most of the girls I know. Problem is, I don't want to since I met this woman I was talking about previously. The level of understanding we have is unique, I never even supposed that two people could have a bond like this. However, I don't know whether she sees me as potential boyfriend material, and I'm guessing no. The age difference must play a part in this (although some time ago I've had a girlfriend who was 4 years older than me, so it's not an impenetrable barrier), and she is serious about her boyfriend even though she has expressed her doubts to me about getting even more serious about him (so they are not engaged yet, and she's not sure she wants to do it, but they are quite well off together for the moment). At first I was gonna try to move on, but after half a year, I can safely say I can't do it.

    Needless to say it's not a quick fix I'm looking for, but a way to get the best girlfriend I could ever have. I know being a PUA is not exactly about these kinds of problems, but my friends couldn't really help me and I didn't get a useful answer anywhere else I tried. Btw I only started studying the Pandora's Box profiling technique in order to gain insight on her, so I don't aim to be a PUA.

    Thank you for listening to me, if you have any more thoughts on the matter, I would be glad if you shared them with me.

  10. #10
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl of my dreams - who is in a serious relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by xxyyzz123456 View Post
    .................... .I only started studying the Pandora's Box profiling technique in order to gain insight on her, so I don't aim to be a PUA.
    But do aim to be a PUA. You will improve your skills and then when the time is right go for the girl you mention! Till then keep a healthy distance.

    Quote Originally Posted by xxyyzz123456 View Post
    However, I don't know whether she sees me as potential boyfriend material, and I'm guessing no.
    Work on your PUA skills and you will know, but also learn to become not outcome related.
    Make the impossible possible!


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