Things aren't great..
I'm 24. Just started a new job which means I could be nexted by the company at any time. I have no education. I live with my father. No real 'life' ie. No social circle I can count on, no places I can afford to go right this minute, I'm out of shape etc. etc. on and on.. Still feeling pretty down about a girl I screwed sh1t up with, really lacking that 'philosophy of abundance' mentality.
What I want..
Happiness within myself, a whole reframe on life.
A job that's social, and allows me to dress smartly for work.
A job that makes me indispensible to the employers I work for and many other options of employment.
Enough money for a decent place to live (bachelor pad of some sort), gym memberships, toys, dates, holidays (you know, a LIFE!)
An exciting social life, lots of invites from people to partake in exciting things.
Plenty of attractive girls, to show me that the one I screwed up with wasn't all that, and I can still have a great life, even though I fked up with someone I really wanted to play the second lead.
I don't really know where to start..
This job I have should go ok. The money is decent, but like I said.. I could be replaced by the company within five minutes. Once the pay checks start coming in again, I can eat right and hit the gym, I can socialise, I can hit night college or study online.
The thing is about the girls after that.. I don't feel comfortable AT ALL bringing a girl to this sht hole while I'm living with my dad, he's pretty broke, never really achieved anything and tbh most of the time I don't even like his company. No way can I be hanging out with girls here.. But then, if I blast my money on grabbing someplace to live (rent, bills..) I'll have no money to hit gyms, save for my own apartment and car, education, socialising, and probably never get to see that magical million in the bank account..
Feels like I've wasted a whole lot of sht that I can't get back..
I screwed up my school days clowning about, so while everyone was learning to support themselves living at university, socialising, meeting their life friends.. I was in the home town smoking pot and working dead end jobs (didn't save a penny and owe a little bit), I feel like people my age (24-25) are already way, way further ahead in their development as 'real' human beings, and I'm going to be playing catch up for the rest of my life..
I'll never quite get the house I REALLY want, never quite get the car I REALLY want, never quite have the lifestyle I REALLY want, and never quite be able to get the girl I REALLY want (yep, oneitis is still pretty bad, even six months after she told me to fk off.. Never met anyone like her, she's the best since sliced bread bla bla, you know that story and I guess a few of you know how it feels, pretty hard case right here), I don't feel worthy of attracting someone I really like. Hell, I screwed sh1t up with the only one I really like, so why would I get another oportunity for someone as good/better?
So basically a rant, any advice would be appreciated, anyone prepared to slap some sense in to me.. man I don't know. I need a life and I'm not sure if I'll ever get the one I want.. AA to life probably.. Fear of failure.. I dunno man. Lots of bad memories, lots of time wasted, lots of missed opporunities, all the rest..
Need to get my sht together and I need to build up a solid support group.