New to this board, but here's my situation. Since I started dating after the dissolution of my last relationship, I have been pretty successful getting dates (although at first they were almost exclusively through online dating). Unfortunately, despite getting over a dozen first dates, I have never succeeded in getting a second date with any girl I've been interested in. Here's an example that happened recently - I'm giving a lot of detail to give you guys more information to work with:
I meet extremely cute, nerdy, but strangely athletic HB7 at a bar and though conversation is at first fairly conventional, I quickly go in with DHV's, disqualifiers, and jokes. She's shooting me massive IOI's, laughing at things that aren't even funny, and while she had at first hesitated to order a second drink, once the conversation got good, she decided that she wanted another round. As I continue to get IOI's, I kino-escalate her and it gets to the point that we're literally holding hands (and carressing hands) in the bar. She just coincidentally lives on my street (we're both Ph.D students in what's essentially a college town) and so we walk home together, I start holding her hand, and during the light-hearted chat on the walk home, she says "wow, honestly, you're just so cool. I can't believe it." - not in a fake way, but very sincerely. When we get to my place, I mention that we're at my house and ask her if she wants me to walk her home. She says no - but we kiss - like 8 seconds, light tongue. Then I tell her that I'd be interested in meeting up again, she says "Alrite, just let me know."
I text her the next day, and almost immediately, she's extremely flaky on text messages, Often waiting tons of time to text me back. What follows below is our correspondence, maybe you guys can help me diagnose what happened:
Me: Hello Ms. [[LASTNAME]. I had a very nice time last night. You down to hang out this weekend? (Thursday morning, day after the date)
Her: I had a nice time too. I'm unfortunately gonna be out of town this weekend but maybe next week? (Thursday evening, 6 hours later)
Me: That should work but I don't know when yet, I'll let you know. (5 hours later, late Thursday night)
Me: Hey, my nights this week are pretty busy but I'm down for Lunch if you're interested. [Restaurant name] has really good Biryani. (Monday afternoon, 3:00 PM)
Her: Hey, unfortunately my lunches are pretty much booked up this week. Maybe coffee? (Tuesday Morning, 11:00 AM, 20 hours later)
Me: Sounds like you're a popular girl. And wow, waiting 18 hours to text back? You must REALLY like me. Wednesday or Thursday for coffee should work. (Tuesday, 12:00 PM, one hour later)
Her: Haha, should I not tell you it was mostly because I was driving through the frozen north with no cell service? Thursday would work better for me. (Tuesday, 12:30 PM, thirty minutes later)
Me: Ah, I see, so your undying passion motivated only 40% of the decision - that's fair. Thursday is flexible so you can pretty much pick your time. (tuesday, 12:50 PM, 20 minutes later)
Then, strangely, about an hour later, I run into her at this cafe where I normally get work done, we exchange small talk, she says, with a laugh "haha, I just got your text." and I was like "cool" or something kind of dismissive. She sits down with her friends while I keep working, then gives me a wave on the way back. Doesn't respond to my text then Thursday rolls around, and at like 4:00 in the afternoon, she texts to say: "hey, sorry but my day just exploded and I don't think I'll be able to make it, sorry, I should have realized this sooner." I tried to do a slight neg, dhv and text back saying "That's fine, listen, I'm intrigued by you, but I meet a lot of intriguing people, so the ball is in your court." She responds by saying "Well in that case, let me just be honest and say that since I started this new project, I don't really have much time for dating." I think this is BS, because I found her OkCupid profile and she has been on it a fair amount even after she sent me that text, including within a couple of hours of sending it.
So, experts - what do you think? Clearly I soiled this in the time after the date, but I just can't figure it out!