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  • 1 Post By Ra1d
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Thread: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

  1. #1
    ShortStuff is offline PUA in Training
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    Thumbs down Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    I'm just going to get straight to the point.

    I have what I believe is clinical depression. I'm too damn old to be living with my parents. I have a degree and no job worth talking about. I rarely get out anymore, and if I do it's nearly always with "friends" that don't really want me around (and vice-versa), or by myself, which is purely to try and "improve" my abysmal social skills since I'm too hideously uncomfortable to actually have fun in my own skin in these environments. I also think I'm pretty ugly and creepy-looking on account of my massive weight loss.

    My mind keeps telling me - Illogically, seeing as to how I've attracted women I find acceptable before, and that I've been a socially acceptable person among people I find acceptable before - that becoming a socially acceptable, attractive man is impossible for me. I think it all stems from a seemingly interminable series of rejections from all sorts of people I wanted to interact with. If I were truly comfortable with myself I realize this wouldn't be a problem since I wouldn't need anyone's approval, but I just don't have that. Like at all. I'm lost, confused, and a part of me I really want to beat the crap out of wants to give up.

    What does it take to turn a rock-bottom mental state into an alpha male? Is it even possible?

  2. #2
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    You see the problem is,everyone can come in here and give you advice and suggest books/videos/dvd's or whatever,you will probably feel excited about it and start reading/watching but it will not change you because you will have major anxieties,so you will be stuck.

    The only solution :

    Read basic conversation openers/routines,and start approaching people,not even girls just people,no book,no video will change you.
    You need experience,although i did read a lot of material myself,and i keep reading because I got interested in psychology after discovering the PuA community,since most of it is based on psychological analysis/body language.

    But what you should do,is turn your brain off,stop giving a damn,approach people,even if you don't know what to say...

    Approach a girl and say "Hi"
    "What's your name"
    "What are you doing here"
    "I like you"
    "Stop,don't talk,let's dance"(yep in the middle of the street)
    "Give me your phone number".

    If she says no or is hinting for you to work harder,you just tell her "K,thx,bb" if you don't know how to press further for the number.

    The perfect book for you will be "Master the game in 30 days" by Neil Strauss/Style",he's giving you missions which you have to do every day,for example the first mission is to talk to 5 random people on the street(not necessarily a girl).Every day the missions get harder.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    Hmm, I can see that you're going through some pain. Your big problem is that you are worrying to much about everything around you. You let the fact that you live with your parents, have a sub-par job, and every other thing define you. As I was once told, "The car does not define you". You need to break out of this mentality that everyone and everything around you gets to determine who you are.

    Another thing to do is to break out of this negative, feel-bad mindset. You are constantly drawing energy off of a negative environment, and it is affecting who you are. You need to look inside of yourself for the energy, and you have to release it. Tell yourself to be happy, and I don't mean to just say it, I mean to really scream it at yourself. You need to get you pumped up. Once you do this, you will see your whole outlook on things change.

    If you need additional motivation advice, go check out Tyler Durden's stuff. He works a lot with improving how men respond mentally and emotionally to women. I would even have to say that it has affected me in everyday life as well.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    Definitely check out Tyler and Alex from RSD. It'll help you realize that you're enough. One problem I was having was not realizing that I may not be the center of THE universe, but I am the center of MY universe. Get it? You create your own reality, some of it is subjective, but the part that matters is the part you create, which is a lot more than the subjective parts.
    Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.

    If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.

  5. #5
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    This is less a pua thing and more a general self-esteem issue. I would suggest channeling you energy into making positive life-changes.

    Can I take a wild guess and assume that university wasn't all that long ago for you? A lot of people go through post-university depression, I did. Life just lost its gloss afterwards.

    It sounds shitty but you just get used to stuff and move on after time.

    Now to speed this up, you need to set yourself so targets. I'll do it for you.

    1) get a new job within 6 months: just start hunting and applying, register with recruitment offices and spend an hour every day on applications. It will take time but you'll get a job you like

    2) move out within 8 months: Once you have a job you can move out. You'll have more money and if you go in for a flat share you will immediately have a set of new friends.


    These are your long term goals and they will leave you feeling happier. In the short term you need to make a conscious decision not to give up or feel sad. You need to stop your brain thinking that way.

    another good tip is make sure you live a busy lifestyle, fill your time. You can do this with the gym or with other stuff but, nothing solitary like video games films etc. keeping busy gives you less time to mope and be depressed.

  6. #6
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    I can relate to you so much op. I have suffered from depression/ lack of confidence for the most of my adult life. The only thing that has improved it is approaching woman on the street. I also watch a lot of RSD on youtube as well.

    This weekend for example was hell for me. I was feeling so blue, so unsure of myself. I looked at everything very negatively. I had even people comment to me that they thought I was goodlooking and when I brushed it off by saying "I used to hear that a lot, but not now in my 30's" They said to me, "no you are just negative" and walked away.

    Despite all this, I still did approaches. I did 2 on Friday, 6 last night and 4 today. All went just ok, and a few went really well. My very last approach today went absolutely amazing! Walked up to a HB10, Elin Nordegren look alike, set went very well. She laughed we joked and I number closed.

    I think that life sometimes has to be persisted through the pain zone until one succeeds. I heard some puas quote Arnold Schwarzenegger, “The last three or four reps is what makes the muscle grow. This area of pain divides the champion from someone else who is not a champion. That’s what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they’ll go through the pain no matter what happens.”

    Anyways, I hope this helps, because I don't know what else to do either.

  7. #7
    ShortStuff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    Hey guys, thanks for all your posts. It really does help.

    Can any of you comment on how I deal with my insecurity toward other men? I'm always thinking to myself, this guy is cooler than me, I can never be as cool as this guy, he's got them in the palm of his hand.

    And when I really look back on it, it's true. He does. Girls are paying him more attention. He's better looking. He's wittier. He's got more interesting stories. And his framing is perfect. So many guys are such leaps and bounds ahead of me on this that being a total AFC I don't have a chance.

    That's another part of what's killing me here. Suppose I can bring out that attractive side of me - How do I keep from being overshadowed by other guys?

  8. #8
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    Two things, realize you will go through rollercoasters with your depression and it is a trial and error experience. how many times I've wanted to give up, but I dust myself off and keep going.

    You need to find something to get you up out of bed when you wake.so you don't lie there all depressed forever. I like to make coffee, it helps wake you up and gives you energy to get out of the house too.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  9. #9
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    Try and look at things more subjectively. Stop taking everything personal, life isn't that serious. Every time you have a negative thought think to yourself, "This is happening because I'm awesome." It doesn't even have to make sense and could seem borderline delusional, but delusional happiness is better than delusional sadness. I suffer from a highly negative thought process, and it's been a rough journey but I'm a lot happier. Diet, exercise, and proactivity in fueling a new belief system. Don't get me wrong, i still have a lot of negative thoughts but they are a lot easier to manage. You'll get there man, try and find what makes you not think, observe how you feel when you do it and that's how you should feel all the time. If you need anything you can PM me. I know it can be rough but don't take it personal.
    Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.

    If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.

  10. #10
    Silver007A is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Horrid inner game - Makes this feel impossible for me

    Hi,

    Some good advice for you by others. I'd like to suggest you get the ebook and audios by Max Maltz called psychocybernetics.

    It is the basis for most personal development techniques by the gurus out there and will def help you change for the better. He explains why you are feeling and thinking the way you do and why others do the same.

    We all do it mate to a greater or lesser degree.

    It might help you to know that all of us suffer from that. It's just that some people have better or worse mechanisms to get out of it and not let it affect us for too long. Some people are in a much worse situation that you too lol.

    Also, most people have been in a worse situation that you at some point in their lives, but then just changed. Some of them know how they changed some don't. Some will end up there again if they are not careful.

    Start looking for the times when things are feeling good for you. You’ll start to notice more and more. Like most of the people who posted on here are being good towards you, aren’t they?


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