Hey MPUAs, would REALLY appreciate some help with a multiple-woman situation Details:
New to PUA, curious to try out this lifestyle. Voracious for attention and intimacy, but also a charming guy who genuinely appreciates women. This combo often lands me in tricky situations like the one below.
Small city (around 80k) where everyone seems to know each other...run into someone I know 60% of the time I go out..some nights I'll run into 10 different acquaintances. In other words - tricky to sneak around, easy to be branded as a sleaze.
HB #1, dating 2 months
Been close to her family for a long time, but nothing's happened until now...I'm 10 years older and she's recently grown into her HB-ness. She lives 2h away and is swamped with work. We only see each other every 2-3 weeks, but it's for a full weekend when we do. She's not looking to be my girlfriend, but also not interested in dating or sex with anyone else. We've discussed, and agreed that we want to keep this going, but would let each other know if we want to start seeing someone else. She's said she doesn't want to "keep me from meeting other people," but I'm not sure that means she'd keep seeing me if she knew I was.
BUT I can't wait so long between visits without starting to get needy and losing my cool.
HB #2, dating 1 month
Picked up at a bar, 4-5 dates rapid-fire. Can tell I'm boyfriend material for her...she is a big social hub and has mixed me into her circle of friends. They like me and I'm quickly becoming one of the gang. Have been sleeping over at her place, hot and heavy...we're about to start having sex, which I know will mean a big escalation for her. We haven't discussed it, but I'd guess non-exclusivity would be a deal-breaker. My age will also come as a surprise when she finally asks (10 years older than her, too).
Been number-closing like crazy recently...lots of hot dates on the horizon. But I want to get a clear strategy before I start complicating things by activating any prospects.
Basically I'd like to avoid a train wreck. This weekend I skipped an event at HB#2's house because I had a chance to go see HB#1 - so this was the first weekend I haven't seen HB#2 since we met. Next weekend is Valentine's - HB#1's planning to come stay for the weekend, and we like to go out to bars and clubs where we'll be visible. So I'll need to tell HB#2 something and hope we don't run into her or her friends.
What I need to figure out
- General guidelines for managing this dynamic
- How to avoid getting caught by HB#2 or her friends
- What should tell HB#1, HB#2, and Prospects about non-exclusivity - if anything
Thanks guys, looking forward to your wise words.