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Thread: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

  1. #1
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    Hi guys, I have been doing day time approaches for about 7 months now. I am at the point now, where I am walking up to woman regularly and saying "Hi I saw you walk by and I thought I would come and tell you I think you have an amazing style, what's your name? I'm Todd"

    Anyways lately I have been going through extreme self doubt and depression. I am just feeling so unsure I can accomplish any of the goals I want. But I have been persisting anyways.

    Yesterday I approached 4 woman in day time settings. The first 3 went poorly, where the last set went totally amazing with HB10 Elin Nordegren look alike.

    I would like your advice here, from some guys who are experienced in this area. Do I keep on persisting on my approaches when I am feeling so much self doubt/depression at times? Or do I wait till I feel better?

    My depression self doubt comes from the fear that I can't or won't be able to accomplish my goals. So I know that confronting those fears is the healthiest. I also know that by the law of state transference she will undoubtedly feel that emotion too.

    Any advice about this area, would be awesome.

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    My depression self doubt comes from the fear that I can't or won't be able to accomplish my goals. So I know that confronting those fears is the healthiest. I also know that by the law of state transference she will undoubtedly feel that emotion too.
    imo this has little to do with pickup, but rather the problem you may face is with goal setting,
    i once read that all goals should;
    1.be realistic
    2.be acheivable
    3. have a means of measuring proggress
    4. have an action plan for acheiving them
    5. be motivating

    if a goal doesn't meet that criteria, then it should be revised to do so. just think to yourself, what are some of my goals? why are these goals so important to me? what motivates me to pursue these goals? these are all very relevant questions you should think about before even setting goals.

    as for pua and the law of state transferrance, yes you will reflect your state onto those around you. its your choice when and where you talk to women. sarge only when you feel like it.

    if pua is depressing you, try focusing on other goals/hobbies that make you feel better. there's alot more to life than just getting girls you know.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    i would quote meteora but dont feel like deleting 99% of it lol, the most important thing though dude is to game when you feel like it. i agree with all what meteora is saying, but thats the big one. sometimes your just not feeling it, i go months without being in the mood to game. if your having issues with self doubt, get some practice indirectly approaching. look for the iois and use them to convince yourself its stupid to doubt yourself
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  4. #4
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    We all hit those ruts. Where all that we learned and achieve sort of collapse on you and you begin to wonder if you'll get to where you want to be. It's fine and it's normal. Think of it as you ending one phase and are entering another. You are evolving and when you get inspired again you will be stronger than ever. I agree with everything that meteora said.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    I agree with everyone here, I would add that you should game when you feel like it, don't pressure yourself to game and try not to get into the mindset of gaming neither, because that'll just stress you out. When you go out with the mindset of having fun, ''Gaming'' should come in naturally.

    Let me explain quickly:

    You go out and you want to Game, you tell yourself ''I'm going to game to do this opener then follow with this then that'' making up your plan, when you find a girl you either go and feel nervous or just don't, and when you don't get those IoI's you feel like you're not progressing and get pissed or down.

    Or when you just go out and tell yourself just to have fun, see this girl and decide to approach her with nothing planned out, you'll make stuff up as you go, this could stress you but if it goes well you'll get this nice Vibe or flow and keep going, if you get blown out you wouldn't really care since your mindset isn't in picking up its having fun. She's no fun, not my problem, I'm here to have fun.

    That's what I do atleast, might help you guys out.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    I like ablindman9's response. I to have a tendency to go out and have fun. Going out with the intention of JUST picking up women sets a whole different tone to the night. You don't talk to guys (who can be wingman and help you out. Also social proof) and miss out on women who are married or have bfs and are happy (really good pivots) and just people in general that just add value to your life. I literally got a job just from meeting a married woman and becoming friends with her and her family. Her husband helped me get into his company. Not to mention she has hooked me up with 3 of her friends and handfuls of random women when we would go out together.

    So just make sure your first priority is having fun and you will become a magnet that everyone wants to be around.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    Yes I agree with all of you here. I was reading a post last night on Jeremy Soul's blog about emotions. He was saying that our learning curve is shaped like a U. In the beginning in pick up we are at our highest. When we approach and we follow our intent, no matter the outcome, we generally feel awesome.

    As time progresses, and we make mistakes, get blown out, our enthusiasm tends to wain. Then if we persist, we will have another plateau. And the cycle continues.

    I think that is what is happening to me. I felt absolutely fantastic, walking up to beautiful woman that I have always wanted and telling them I find them attractive. Having them brighten up, makes my day. No agenda, no outcome desired, other than to make them smile. Its awesome.

    I just think that I have chosen a few very big goals for my life and am completely daunted by the task a head of me. One of them is to be one of the best day gamers in the world. Oh My God! that could take years. And the other is to be very successful in my chosen career.

    I just think that I am very sensitive to rejection right now as I am doubting myself, and thus I am sending negative messages to people. When they sense my negativity rejection is almost certain. I just wasn't sure if I should persist in this time or not.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    I just think that I am very sensitive to rejection right now
    you can't let rejection get you down. we all get rejected at times. the more experience i get, the more i reallize that rejection is just a part of life that is unaviodable. you just gotta get passed it and move on to the next girl. it seems to me that you are putting too much value on getting girls,when you should be more focused on making friends and having a good time.

    there are times when we just sarge too much, take a step back and trie to get a new perspective on your situation. girls really shouldn't be as important to you as you are making them.

  9. #9
    Anuks's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    My biggest obstacle to game, is the belief whether or not I am worthy of a loving relationship. How should I go about establishing this? I agree I should establish more hobbies! Excellent advice.

  10. #10
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do despit my Extreme Self Doubt

    My biggest obstacle to game, is the belief whether or not I am worthy of a loving relationship. How should I go about establishing this? I agree I should establish more hobbies! Excellent advice.
    are you worthy of a loving relationship? only you can answer that question. if you don't feel worthy then you aren't worthy. you can't second guess yourself like that. either you beleive in yourself or you don't. and if you don't beleive in yourself you will never reach your full potential.


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