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  1. #1
    Krunch99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Had this girl in every way then lost her. How to prevent/get her back?

    Greetings. I'm going to try to make this as concise as possible for it is a complicated situation.

    I worked next door to this girl for a year. I never really noticed her at first, but then we started to flirt and I developed a crush. She ended up leaving that job so I Facebooked her and we eventually started talking more. We admitted we'd always liked each other and we should "hang out and see where it goes" (her words.)So we hung out one Summer day and went swimming. Then went back to my place to change clothes and go get food, but ended up just talking for hours inside and then had sex twice. Got up in the morning and did it again before I drove her to work. Kissed goodbye and I thought it was the start of something great because we clicked on every level. Then things started falling apart. The chain of events is as follows:

    - She asks to MOVE IN WITH ME. I ask her to hang out again and plan on talking about us. We go to the mall and then food then back to my place, where things go wrong. She gets on my computer and immediately goes to my pictures and finds pics of my ex from 7 months ago which I had forgotten about. She says it's no big deal. I drive her to work after and in the car she starts rummaging through my glovebox and finds old pieces of paper that I had written thoughts down on after a bad break up. She says it's fine. She HUGS me goodbye when I drop her off.

    -At this point, we are still texting and talking all the time. I ask her to hangout a lot but she is busy with finding a new job and moving (she lives with parents who are always on her case, too). We always make plans to do something but she flakes the day of.

    -This trend continues for a few weeks until I straight up stop hearing from her for a week. Then she contacts me and says we should just be friends cause her life is "too crazy right now." I tell her I really like her and she says she likes me but "cant handle a boyfriend." I let it go.

    -About two months later I contact her and say Hi and she goes off on me saying she doesn't like me anymore and that it creeped her out when she found those notes and pictures and that she wasn't going to talk about it anymore. I demanded a better explanation because I felt like I'd been screwed over, but got nothing.

    -Around Christmas time, almost three months later, still unable to shake it off, I wrote her a letter explaining everything that happened so she'd know the full story and wouldn't think something that wasn't true.(It was mostly for me to get it off my chest). She changed her profile pic to one with some other guy in it and responded via facebook with only "Just move on." I said "Fine." and haven't spoken to her since last week when I sent her a cordial Happy Birthday message, to which there was no response.

    Now, I'm not too experienced with women, but I've always tried to at least be honest with how I felt. I kept wondering if I came off too strong with this girl, but we did have sex immediately (that she initiated) and she said she wanted to move in with me, so if anything she came off strong, which actually threw me off a bit.

    Mind you, this girl is 19. (I'm 24) Is there anything I can do to get her to at least talk to me about this? It still bugs the hell out of me and she hasn't explained herself at all. I fell for her. Hard. I could have sworn she felt the same way, too.

    Sorry for the long read, and any insight is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Had this girl in every way then lost her. How to prevent/get her back?

    Dude, she's crazy. You won this one. I wish all the crazies would weed themselves out like this.

    You need to get a hold of yourself.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    Krunch99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Had this girl in every way then lost her. How to prevent/get her back?

    That makes me feel better. The main issue I've been having is I can't shake the feeling that I did something to mess it all up. And it doesn't help that immediately after (probably the reason why, actually) she ended things with me she starts actually dating someone. I've been asking myself "What was so wrong with me? We had sex but you wouldn't date me?" That goes against everything I hold myself to be. I never go after any girl that I wouldn't date.


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