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Thread: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

  1. #1
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    Hi everyone, I'll start with a bit of an introduction. I first read The Game about four or five months ago, and since then have read and reread a few books and made an effort to go out more. I've also read this forum a bit for advice for my problem but thought I'd ask you guys as well, anyway...

    I met this girl two weeks ago at a friend's house, she seemed cool and attractive. I wasnt talking to her much though cos it was obvious my friend wanted her. Also I could only stay for an hour.

    Anyway, that seems to have backfired cos she just seemed more interested in me, she made sure to add me on Facebook, we had a nice chat on there but I forgot about her and moved on.

    Two weeks later, it hasn't worked out with her and my friend and shes messaging me at 1am on my birthday, asking what I'm doing and can she come see me to celebrate, if not, maybe on the weekend. She also told me some other stuff about a drum kit for sale she mentioned before not being there anymore [I had forgotten and didn't care anyway] blah blah.

    Anyway so I took this as a massive IOI, replied the next day, and then we got talking for most of the night after my birthday.
    it was crazy, everything i learnt was coming out, she was already attracted to me, and had heard good things about me. and I was just teasing her and saying and doing things I'd never done before, it was all so natural though. I got her number and arranged something for the weekend and carried on chatting to her.

    The next day was valentines day, things were moving so quick we forgot about our weekend plans and she invited me round just to meet up and smoke weed after work, we'd both had a bit of a stressful day.

    But just before I left she was like "uh actually im not sure how about tommorow?" and "are you a gentleman?"

    So I knew this was her ASD acting up and knew what she meant I said yeah of course I am, and she wanted to meet up again.

    Anyway we had another nice night chatting away, it went really well, she even brought a sketch book of her artwork to show me. She was playing with her hair and complimenting me as well as liking the things I like.

    Towards the end of the night we were still laughing and having fun [she even told me she loved it when I said I brought her some of the best most expensive chocolate around, before showing her the cheapest bar of tesco value milk chocolate you can find]

    but the thing she had said earlier about being a gentleman really threw me. I didn't make a move, touch her or anything, [apart from briefly touching her fingers to grab a joint from her and a hug good night]. We were in a car, but I'm not sure thats a good reason not to touch her.

    So I'm worried I've managed to get a girl really attracted to me only to friend zone myself by chatting so long, not making a move, and demonstrating some low value by driving forty miles just to see her for 3 hours.

    This was last night, I haven't spoken to her at all today, just pondering my next move, and arranging going out tonight to get her out of my mind.

    So my question is

    do you think I can still salvage this next time I see her?

    and if so how?

    I've had this problem with another girl in the past as well, conversation is great but failed to touch her and move it forward.

    haha thanks for reading and whatever advice you may have.

  2. #2
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    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    Doesn't sound like you've fucked it up just yet. Next time you see her you have to escalate and I'd do it quickly if I were you.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    Flyboy86 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    Kino kino kino!!! The biggest gain in my game has come from kino escalation. Start immediately, taps on the arm touches on the shoulder. Slowly escalating touches. It has outstanding results plus it lets them no that you aren't friend zone material!

  4. #4
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    If u continue with talking and not touching, i m afraid my friend you gonna be in Friend Zone Start with Kino, and go for kiss

  5. #5
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    Ok thanks a lot for reading and commenting.

    I'm afraid if I talk to her anymore then I will end up in the friend zone. This is all happened in a few days so think I'll avoid Facebook for a while and only talk to her to arrange another date now. and then when I do that start straight away with the kino escalation.. your thoughts?

    What's a good way to get it started? I remember years ago I was sitting next to a girl in a restaurant opposite two friends we were outside and I just put my hand on her chair and started stroking her hand.. something like that.. it felt great and we ended up together for two years.
    I can't remember how I started that though! it was really natural and cool at the time though.

    The thumb war things cool, not sure that's me though, I may try it if I can't think of anything else.

  6. #6
    ablindman9's Avatar
    ablindman9 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    If you would stop talking to her, realisticly you wouldn't even fall in the friendzone, you'd just be ''that guy I know'' yet people call them friend.

    And No you don't fail if you don't establish kino, basicly you can break friendzone (BEFORE it has even been established), simply by touching her.

    Example:

    *place hand gently on upper arm* Hey let's move to those chairs.

    *place hand on lower back* (Moving her from upcoming people walking around the wall while talking)

    *Hand on upper arm while giving compliment. And much more.

    Good courage.

  7. #7
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    Yeah that's true, I don't know her that well yet.

    And yes! That stuffs so basic and easy yet I never do it, exactly the advice I needed. I will try that.

    I remember with another girl we were walking back to my car after a nice night out and I could see her arm right next to mine, but I didn't think of holding it until I left. LOL yeah this is clearly an area I need to improve on.

    Thanks again!

  8. #8
    ablindman9's Avatar
    ablindman9 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    You can even try compliance tests, I do them for fun, nothing serious.

    Go like:

    ME:Here let me show you something, give me your hands.
    Her: *gives hands and you hold them*
    Me: So this one time *talk about what ever*
    Her: What's the trick/Why are you holding my hands?
    Me: Oh! I just wanted to hold them.

    She'd either laugh or what not. If her reaction is bad, don't be sorry. Try making her feel like she's over reaction and laugh about it.

  9. #9
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    LOL yeah that's gold, I've been making a lot of jokes like that with her, so that's definitely one I need to use.

    I'm loving this advice now, know any other cool ways to initiate touching? haha I can't get enough

  10. #10
    ablindman9's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it over if I failed to initiate kino on first date?

    Honestly man, if she's having fun with you, laughing, talking and showing a lot of IoI's. You should get higher then just touching to make her feel something subconsiously. If you know she's interested in me. I would start more flirting then going for the kiss, if that's your plan.

    People see kissing as a big thing, its just an other way to show interest basicly. Why do you think people kiss in clubs all the time ? Good luck.


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