I'm getting back into dating after a 10+ year LTR and need to improve my skills. I've started the work today with this board.
Although I've got a situation in progress while I'm upping my game that I can use as a bit of homework. I might have blown this one.
I met a girl at a bar 10 days ago. We're playfully talking and laughing for 2 hours. Attraction. We slow dance to a song on the jukebox. I rode with someone else, and she had a friend to drive home. They're leaving, so we play a little bar bet to see who gives who the digits. She wins, but still gives me her number. They leave and a guy that was with her friend tells me that this girl really wants me to text her.
Hard to see how I could blow this slam dunk, but I will.
I text her almost immediately. We text back and forth for about an hour. Still feeling the vibe. She texts me the next day. We text a lot . Too much personal info, but I get a dinner date for that night. Date is good. Laughs. We go back to her apartment and hang out with her roommates home. I leave with a hug. Looking back I should've escalated to a kiss after the fast start to this thing.
Day 3, 4, 5, and 6 and it's a metric ton of texting. She sends me tasteful pics of her. I do the same. Schedules prevent actually getting together. Feels like mutual interest.
Day 7 I meet her at her work(a bar). She's busy so we don't talk much, but I try to make use of the limited time. Smiling when she looks my way. After work we go with a friend of hers to a bar. I try to stay in the convo, but it's mostly inside talk between her and the friend. We agree to meet for a steak dinner. Probable escalation fail again.
Day 8 Texting, but I'm sensing the spark fading a bit on her end. I try to pin down a time for dinner over the next few days. She doesn't outright say no, but she doesn't commit either.
Day 9 I get a hold of her spur of the moment for lunch. She says that a friend just asked her to lunch a minute before me or she would have gone. No prob. I get a hold of her later about dinner again. I'm not sure of her work schedule so I'm leaving the time up to her. Again, she's joking but doesn't say no but doesn't commit.
Day 10 No contact. Since I initiated the last 3 days I backed off.
Day 11 No contact.
Day 12 I start down the path to figuring this shat out.
I'm kicking myself for the escalation fail on the first date. Looking back, I know I sabotaged myself. I need to work on my pacing on these things. Like I said it's been a long time, and I am rusty as fack and it might have been obvious.
I'm already working on the things I did wrong up until today, but does anyone have any advice on what I did and on moving forward from here? Should I contact? Hold the course?
My thought is to give it one more day and since our date was going to be a steak dinner shoot her a message and say, "Did you become a vegetarian?" Then kiddingly play off her response from there if there is one.