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  1. #1
    sahil885 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Finding it hard to read her signs

    So here is my story. For the last three months I have been trying to hookup with this co worker but I'm on the verge of giving up.

    Whenever I made eye contact with her she would give me a smile and a wave. I had a flirtatious conversation with her before I left for three weeks for a holiday which I ended saying "don't miss me too much"

    A work friend of mine had a chat to her about me and she said i was really cute and nice. I was over the moon when my friend told me she said that about me.

    When I came back to work, it was my birthday the day before. When I saw her at work, I was waiting in line for something and she walked up to me with a big smile saying "Hey I didn't know it was your birthday yesterday, happy birthday, I feel really bad for not knowing and not wishing you"

    The conversation was going well so I tried to add a flirtatious comment at the end saying "So do I get a birthday Kiss"

    She says no and then i lose her smile, then we end up having a break together later and it was just awkward silence for 5 minutes.

    Later next week when I saw her again we still made eye contact and she still smiled but I couldn't really get a conversation going as we were both busy working.

    My question is that is this girl giving me signs shes attracted to me or she's just being polite and is the only way to hook up with this girl is if I bump in to her where she hangs out, I know a couple of clubs she goes to frequently.

    I'm finding it hard to flirt to her at work and getting her number at work is the most impossible thing as I can't transition it in a conversation

  2. #2
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Finding it hard to read her signs

    QUOTE: which I ended saying "don't miss me too much" << Don't say this. Ask her a question that forces a response. Like "How much are you going to miss me" Lead the girl, don't wait for her to lead you

    QUOTE: do I get a birthday Kiss" << Same thing. Instead use "Umm. Where is the closet you picked out for my birthday kiss." ** This could get you fired. If that's the case say, find her outside of work and then say the same thing. Don't don't be creepy about it.

    My thoughts:

    1. Hooking up with co-workers can be a double edged sword, unless you are the boss.
    2. It "sounds like" she is just being polite. But who cares, that's never a sign of anything except that she doesn't think you are creepy, in which case, ALWAYS assume it's game-on.
    3. Based on what you are writing, you are not eliciting behavior from her. In other words, directly ask her, questions designed to logistically move her to new locations. Practice with something like "hey. follow me to the copy machine, i want you to teach me how to use it." email her and say "let's meet at the coffee maker for some gossip time." then after you get her moving her location with you, say "okay. i'm done with the copiers and coffee-makers, we are meeting out at a bar for a drink this week. pick a night."
    - CR

  3. #3
    sahil885 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Finding it hard to read her signs

    So pretty much if I want to escalate with this girl I need to bump in to her outside
    of work and use those flirting tips.

    I don't work at an office, we both work in a store so
    email isn't really going to work. I mainly need to get her
    cell phone number so I can flirt via text and maybe finally
    get a date with her.

    I do have her on facebook though but if start a conversation first I'm
    pretty sure I'll come across as a creep.

  4. #4
    ablindman9's Avatar
    ablindman9 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Finding it hard to read her signs

    You seek reactions too much in my opinion. Right after she said No. You should of said something funny not like an AFC and go like Oh.. Okay.. well uugh.. Same goes with that awkward silence, break it and start a conversation. Its not all gone tho' because a person who was once attracted can be attracted again, unless you've done something real hard to turn her off. That's nothing.

    I wish I was that guy behind you, slapping you in the head going: YES! SHE IS INTERESTED IN YOU. Because dude, girls wouldn't start converstation with people they don't know or even care about. If she smiles at you, you're good, especially how society is now a days. People do not, great or smile at strangers like they did in the old days, so consider it an IoI. Go read up on some IoI's and Bodylanguage, you'll find it very usefull for knowing if they are interested.
    Stay Natural, Stay Original.


    Like and Thanks other PUA's it helps.

  5. #5
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Finding it hard to read her signs

    Hey,

    Like kinda mentioned earlier your responses imply to much you're not quite sure of yourself.
    Saying: "Don't miss me too much" is kinda asking her "are you going to miss me?" and she probably knows that. Even when you say it in a fun teasing way it's better to say something more powerfull like: "I know you're going to miss me, but hey everythings gonna be allright you're a big girl (you can even add "Right? and poke her on the shoulder" to see if she plays along)!

    You should also try to only ask her favours you're 90% sure of she going to comply too and know how to respond too if she doesn't. The same goes for saying flirty cocky stuff! Make sure you know how to respond properly when she doesn't respond well.
    I believe you could've done some serious damage by your birthday kiss question depending on how you responded to her saying no.

    That being said letting her do favours (explain something, mail somthing, etc.) for you is in my opinion a great way for getting women to like you in a professional setting!
    Don't over do this ofcouse because then you just become the anoying needy dude always asking for a favour (Rewarding her after she has doing you X favours can also help to avoid this feeling, but there's a real chance for giving her a mismatched reward!!!). The power behind asking her to do favours for you to which she comply's is that she has to give herself a reason for doing those favours. The main goal here is ofcourse to let that evolve to "I must really like him because I do all this favours for him".
    The great thing is that helping other people makes you feel usefull which in turn makes you like the person you're helping (if you ofcourse don't overdo it or ask for to big of a favour) and it also helps to built a connection.
    I find it a very usefull way to flirt, built attraction and let her qualify in a totally appropiate way for a professional setting.

    And to answer your main questions: I can't say that she likes you but you definitely gained her interest in a positive way.


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