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  1. #1
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default I messed up - How to bounce back?

    So I've written on here about the HB8 I had my first true same night smash with a few months back. She's from outside the country and it's hard to see her, but she's here this week. On Saturday we agreed to meet up at the same bar we met at, and she brought her friend (Another equally gorgeous girl).

    But from the beginning the target was acting cold and distant. I sat next to her and tried to do some kino, but there was this weird awkward energy. She was tired from traveling (Hadn't slept the night before) and looked very irritable. But her friend was really nice and we ended up chatting it up more.

    Eventually the target began talking to another group of guys, but her friend assured me she'd be back. But she left those guys behind and kept disappearing by herself, leaving me to dance with the friend (I made sure to do it in full sight of her). The friend and I did some close dancing, but again there was weird awkward energy - I was there to see the target, not this girl I had just met. The baffling thing, though, was the target would come back from time to time with beers or shots for us. She must've spent about $20-30 on me that night.

    So around 3AM the friend came by, said she found target girl, and they were both exhausted and wanted to leave. I was drunker than I wanted to be (Can't turn down free shots!), so I shifted into beta territory and asked her to stay a bit longer, trying to be silly and goofy. But alas, they wanted to leave together, so she said goodbye, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said she'd get in touch to hang out.

    I was sure this was a done deal, but there was a lot of weird awkward energy and I guarantee I farked up because of it. On top of that it was extremely difficult to keep the attention of this tired, jet-lagged girl. In hindsight I should've probably stayed in, and I can't help but feel I farked things up. Some people told me I should've gamed the friend, since she and I got along better.

    So it's been a few days and I still haven't heard from her, so I'm wondering if it'd be worth it to get in touch with her. I'm planning on going out Thursday with some friends, and I was thinking of sending her an invitation. Good idea? Bad idea?

  2. #2
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I messed up - How to bounce back?

    So she brought a friend to keep you busy ?I wasn't there,i can't tell for sure,but if that happened to me,i would open other groups to show that girl that you are not desperate for her attention.

    As for the friend,yep you should have gamed her,in fact you should have opened the sets with her.

    If you still want this girl,yes,send her an invitation.Just don't start with "Hi" or "How are you",just a straight to the point text.

    Example :
    "Me and my friends are going to this party(or whatever),you should come join us".

  3. #3
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I messed up - How to bounce back?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ra1d View Post
    So she brought a friend to keep you busy ?I wasn't there,i can't tell for sure,but if that happened to me,i would open other groups to show that girl that you are not desperate for her attention.

    As for the friend,yep you should have gamed her,in fact you should have opened the sets with her.

    If you still want this girl,yes,send her an invitation.Just don't start with "Hi" or "How are you",just a straight to the point text.

    Example :
    "Me and my friends are going to this party(or whatever),you should come join us".
    She traveled here with her friend, and naturally brought her along. I couldn't get anyone to come out with us, which I think put me at a huge disadvantage. But my biggest obstacle, I thought, would be getting the friend to be cool with me. Instead the friend was the cool one and the target was the weird one. The friend was actually trying to get the target away from the guys and going out to find her because she knew it was really her I was there to see.

    I figured the target was done with me, but the baffling thing was she kept buying me drinks. I know it's a sign of DHV if you can get a girl to buy you drinks (And I didn't spend one penny on her). Someone said this might've been her doing some push-pull - She hangs out with guys in front of me and keeps disappearing, but then does something nice to draw me back in.

    And yeah, I figure I'll drop her a line tomorrow night. The first thing I text is always a question pertaining to the topic ("So what are your thoughts on craft beers?") or a bold statement, trying to be playful ("Breaking news: Party tomorrow!"). If I use the latter, I'm thinking of following it up with a fun disqualifier: "There are some openings at the cool kids' table and we're screening applicants. Do you think you have what it takes?"

  4. #4
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I messed up - How to bounce back?

    Bumping this - Looking to get in touch tonight, still want people's input.

  5. #5
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I messed up - How to bounce back?

    Well, I messaged her anyway and got a positive response. Here's the convo below:

    Me: breaking news!

    Her: woah, sup?

    Me: party tomorrow, that's what's sup

    Her: haha where? we are partying at (Her hotel) tomorrow

    Me: around brooklyn

    Her: cool
    we might be around bk tomorrow afternoon
    do i have your number?
    no
    here's mine
    [Her number]
    text me tomorrow

    Me: sounds good
    just have to check something, first
    i'm told they're reserving the cool kid's table
    i have to verify that you are, in fact, a cool kid

    Her: mmm hopefully cool enough

    Me: do you have a cool kid's license?

    Her: no

    Me: tsk tsk!
    well i'll see what i can do
    being from montreal might give you diplomatic cool kid immunity

    Her: hopefully
    ok! Im gonna go to yoga now
    text me tomorrow


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