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  1. #1
    zimusic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Don't know what to do, need pro help (long)

    Hello,I could really use some help, here is the situation.

    I was in a relationship with this girl for about a solid three months, and was really confident that we were going to go far together. We both felt a really strong connection to each other and we said that we were going to tough things out no matter how hard things got through the thick and thin. But these past few weeks have gone by and there were a few issues. Two weeks ago, I heard from a friend at school that she was cheating on me behind my back, so after school I called her to confront her about the situation, being firm about it, and she told me that she would never do that to me and we had talked about it before that we wouldn't cheat on each other.

    So after a brief conversation we got off the phone and I believed her. She had told be that she was upset and that it was bothering her that people were saying that.

    Another day went by and people were saying it again, so I called her again, and this time, I was more angry, since a kid that was saying it was a kid I've known for a long time and I never liked him. The story was that she had lied to me and said that she went to her grandmothers house, where there is no phone service, but secretly, she went over his house, and had sex with him. But after enough time to gather evidence about it, again, the rumor wasn't true. She again got really upset, and was saying she was afraid to lose me over idiotic rumors, and getting mad that I would think that she would choose him over me. After this conflict, it got to the point where she had wanted to take a break, saying she still loved me more than anything, but wanted to wait till the rumors blow over, and that she didn't want to be in a relationship that would be overlooked as a joke, since there are rumors of her cheating on me and her looking like a slut.

    A few days went by, and I had a show on a Sunday night, at the beginning of Feb vacation. (I play in a band)and she said, "good luck at the show, I wish I could have came, I love you" and I told her that I was going to play it for her. She couldn't attend it because she was busy with family that weekend. A week went by and I had not said a word to her, but I was talking to one of her friends and she knew about the whole story and she told me that she can assure that the rumors weren't true, and that she had asked her is she was planning on going back out with me and she said she would when she felt ready. So I got some of my hopes up. My girlfriend then texted me a few days after this, and we were talking about how she was doing horrible. I told her that I wanted to visit her soon, but she informed me that her mother got taken to the hospital because of a heart disease, and also that her uncle got into a coma. Also that she is on terrible terms with her father after she had gotten into a huge argument with him.

    She told me that she's been taking care of her mother and that she had wanted time alone for a while. I responded with "just know that "I'll always be here for you, I love you" She responded "I love you too, but I want to talk about some things" I told her to speak her mind, and she replied saying that she didn't know if she wants to be in a committed relationship anymore, her reasoning was because they tear her apart, and that people always screw them up. but she said that I was the only person she had ever loved and cared about so much, and she had been thinking about our break all week and how much it made her upset, and she told me to never forget that she loves me so much.

    My question is, is there any hope for the future? if so, how do I go about dealing with this? I truly do love this girl so much, and to get her back would mean a lot. And I don't want her to forget about me. And what kills is that she gave me an amazing picture of us in a nice frame, it would be such a shame if I had to get rid of it. And even though it was a 3 month long relationship, we had so many good memories together. Please help me, it would be much appreciated.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do, need pro help (long)

    The best (& most effective) thing to do is, back away for a bit.

    Don't focus your attention on her. Minimize contact. Keep it brief & platonic.

    Basically, make her miss you.
    By "pulling away" (without being a jerk) it will affect her TRUE feelings.

    If she really does love you, she'll make an effort to be with you.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    zimusic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do, need pro help (long)

    Thank you for your help, one more thing, if you don't mind: How long would I have to wait to contact her, and what would be the best way to approach it? (this happened last Saturday) I don't want her to forget about me, but I won't be one of those guys who contacts them every 5 seconds, I'm not like that.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do, need pro help (long)

    Wait 2-3 days.... (and see if she contacts you)

    Then send her a quick little silly/fun text just, basically just to say "hey" & keep you on her mind.

    Do that every other day or so.... unless she begins to frequently initiate contact, then definitely engage... but don't come across as being over-eager.

    Be more nonchalant at first, but still polite & friendly.
    Basically kind of "game her" from square one, like when you first met her, except dial it back a touch.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    zimusic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do, need pro help (long)

    Yeah, I'm worried about coming across as "I want you back" and really needy and pushy sounding. I feel like it would be sort of awkward. Are you sure it's a good idea to wait a few days? Or should I wait more like a month? To give her space basically. Also, my band is hosting a big party show on March 23rd, would it be a good idea to invite her to it?

  6. #6
    zimusic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do, need pro help (long)

    P.S. shortly after I typed this, she texted me lol. And she told me she was going to go to my show!


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