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Thread: Need a solution to my problems.

  1. #1
    wo7 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need a solution to my problems.

    Hello,I am 24 years old and I never had sex or had a real GF.
    When I was 18 years old I used to approach women and talk to them and try to be friend with them but now when a girl talk to me I freeze and I don't know what to say or anything just stand in silence.
    I have bad personality and I suck in socializing specially around girls.
    I have low self confidence and esteem and I am shy and I lack to conversation skills.
    When I meet new people I don't know what I do wrong because all the time kind of ignoring me.
    I am not ugly and I am not brad pit.

    The problem is whenever I want to change I stuck in the "Where do I start ?" zone.
    Here my list of what's wrong with me:
    Low Personality
    Low Self Confidence
    Low Self Esteem
    Bad Conversation Skills
    Bad with dating and women
    Bad in Socializing

    If I can be fixed what should I start first ?

    I heard that going to gym can boost your confidence so I started going to the gym.


  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need a solution to my problems.

    you should start by listing all the good qualities you posses rather than putting yourself down.

    1. you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are.
    2. no one wants to here whats wrong with you, try talking about yourself in a positive light. about anything. you don't need any "perfect conversation topic" hell if your to scared just ask something trivial.
    4. when in doubt ask questions. if you don't have anything to say, get the other person to talk about themselves (people always love talking about themselves)
    5. realize your own value. how can you expect any girl to see you as a high value guy, if you don't see yourself as a high value guy?
    6. take up hobbies/interests, it doesn't matter what they are, as long as you have some things you enjoy doing.
    7. talk about the things you enjoy doing.
    8. build value by getting involved in the community,being generous and making friends. (for this one i highly recomend reading the book "how to win friends and influence people" by dale carnegie)
    you really need to fix your self esteem before you should even think about getting girls. there is alot more to life than getting girls and i am presuming that you percieve your own value based on how many girls you get (wich is wrong) you need to value yourself before you should even consider talking to a bunch of girls.

  3. #3
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need a solution to my problems.

    I was there man. Don't feel bad because you CAN get out of that. Man I suck at holding conversations, but that's not stopping me from going out and trying anyway. For your confidence, start slow:

    Start by just making eye contact for a few seconds with a girl and just smiling at her. This can be tricky to get consistent eye contact since most people in the day just walk around like zombies. But it helps you learn to make and keep eye contact and just give a friendly smile. You don't even have to approach.

    The next week, just say "Hi" to anyone you walk by. One thing I like to do for entertainment is say hi to people, acting like I know them and haven't seen them in a while. Their reactions are priceless. It's like a troll but a friendly troll.

    And the next week, start just doing cold approaches. This will be the toughest part. Since you're new, maybe find a simple routine you can follow, and once you get more comfortable you can make up your own routine. I would recommend going direct when doing day game. Just go up to the girl and say something like "Hi, I thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you." Don't make the mistake of asking if they're single or not. I made that mistake and got rejected my first few approaches.

    Confidence will come slowly and you'll feel less nervous every time. I used to get nervous going out to parties at night, even with alcohol. Since I started doing approaches, I was approaching every girl at this party without a care in the world, and made out with 2 girls in one night. That's good for me (other guys reading this are probably like "Only 2?")

    It's not going to be easy man. You have a lot to offer girls, but they won't think that unless you start thinking that. You gotta stick with it if you want to get good. All those things you listed as wrong with you, I believed about myself almost my whole life. Then I started getting into this and I already notice I can approach girls with a lot less fear (although there is still some).

    It's all about confidence man. Don't look for a girl to validate you. Be comfortable with yourself and most importantly, have fun with it.

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