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  1. #1
    Perez91 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Thought I was FZed but now I think I have a chance? Advice Needed: Part II

    A few months ago I posted about an HB9 friend of mine that I was very attracted to, and who I thought had friend-zoned me. Needless to say, I followed all the advice and it has seemed to work, I got out of the friend-zone. However, I'm worried that she is gaining control over me again, and would like to know how to gain control of the situation myself.


    Problem:
    I went NC with this girl for two weeks and then came back into her life as a different man. No longer did I care that she was dating and hooking up with other guys, I encouraged it. At the same time I was pursuing other girls and would tell her about them/she would see me with them. Then on V-day she invited herself over to my place to cook. Two days later she invited me over to her place for breakfast and then we spend the entire day together cuddling, I went back to feeling her tits etc. Then this past week we hung out a few times and we held hands. I invited her over to my place for a movie and then I went farther than before, I unzipped her jeans and felt her up until she had an orgasm. After that we made out intensely (mind you, prior to this encounter she had never reciprocated when I kissed her). Then we tried to have sex, she put up no resistance, but I failed miserably because due to it being my first time I was nervous. We cuddled for awhile and I dropped her off. The next day we kissed in school and I left for the weekend.

    She texted me 5 pics of herself this weekend and has told me that "she loves me a lot." I want a relationship with this girl, but I am scared that if I ask her for one the benefits are going to end.

    How can I not mess this up? Should I keep ignoring the fact that she is still dating another guy and just enjoy the "fun" with her until she bends and asks me to go out with her (if she ever will)? Do I keep dating as well?

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Thought I was FZed but now I think I have a chance? Advice Needed: Part

    She said she loves you? A lot? She might be clingy.. Lol, but that's beside the point. I didn't really see the part where she had control over the situation. You obviously have a chance if you got as far as you say you did, and don't trip over that first time anxiety it happens to everyone. Don't ask her for a relationship, that's her job. Keep doing what you are doing, if that other guy really bothers you just be a man and say it "Hey, we have a good thing but I'm not interested in continuing with you having guys on the side." Make sure she is having guys on the side first, ask her about her "guy" friend if you have to. Because if you get all serious about it and it's not even true, it will be bad for you. Good luck.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  3. #3
    Perez91 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Thought I was FZed but now I think I have a chance? Advice Needed: Part

    Quote Originally Posted by Thatoneguyonforums View Post
    She said she loves you? A lot? She might be clingy.. Lol, but that's beside the point. I didn't really see the part where she had control over the situation. You obviously have a chance if you got as far as you say you did, and don't trip over that first time anxiety it happens to everyone. Don't ask her for a relationship, that's her job. Keep doing what you are doing, if that other guy really bothers you just be a man and say it "Hey, we have a good thing but I'm not interested in continuing with you having guys on the side." Make sure she is having guys on the side first, ask her about her "guy" friend if you have to. Because if you get all serious about it and it's not even true, it will be bad for you. Good luck.
    Update*

    She basically distanced herself for about two weeks after I wrote this. I finally had a convo with her today and she told me she is dating a "new" guy (real BETA). However, she said she wanted me to go over to her house, and that she would cook for me on Thursday. I told her that she should come cook for me at my place, and that I couldn't do Thursday because I had a date, so she should come tomorrow. She agreed.

    Question:
    1) Do I try to escalate again and F-close? (I'm worried about encountering resistance, now that we are more distant and she has this new guy)
    2) Do I act like I am not interested anymore?

    Finally: How do I get rid of this BETA that is trying to get her?
    Apparently they have hung out and he has not even tried to hold her hand etc. but he does text her and snap chat her all the time. (Which is why I think she has contacted me less...he is like my replacement)

    **I recognized I was getting oneitis w/ her so it helped that we were distant these past weeks.

  4. #4
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Thought I was FZed but now I think I have a chance? Advice Needed: Part

    Ooook, so basically she wants to hang out and cook for you. The whole new guy thing might just be a ploy to make you jealous, obviously she's not that interested in this "guy" because she's inviting you to hang out and agreeing to do it at your house. Of course you should try to get some, what else is there to do? If she resists keep going, back up and try again. Obviously you don't want to force yourself upon her, if she gets serious about it then you should stop, until then it's all LMR. This is all assuming you've already gotten to the foreplay stage. Good luck.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."


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