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  • 1 Post By Thatoneguyonforums
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Thread: Is attraction really not a choice?

  1. #1
    jackmystery is offline Aspiring PUA Forums
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    Default Is attraction really not a choice?

    Is attraction really not a choice? Why? How can I understand it?

  2. #2
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is attraction really not a choice?

    yes and just so u know it lasts with time, once u're attracted to someone u will still have something for them as little as it might be. Haven't u ever found a girl cute when all u're other friends find her ugly?
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  3. #3
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is attraction really not a choice?

    Your question is a bit strange, and I don't think i fully understand what you are getting at? But I assume you're asking if we choose those we are attracted to or if it just happens. I believe it is a subconscious choice, you don't walk around telling yourself who and who you are not attracted to and weighing the possibilities, it just happens and you accept and go with it. And that goes for everyone not just guys. That type of attraction is physical, what really matters is the attraction to your personality and that as well is a subconscious choice, though it is much easier to mess up.
    Last edited by Thatoneguyonforums; 03-04-2013 at 11:47 AM. Reason: Grammar
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  4. #4
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    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is attraction really not a choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Thatoneguyonforums View Post
    Your question is a bit strange, and I don't think i fully understand what you are getting at? But I assume you're asking if we choose those we are attracted to or if it just happens. I believe it is a subconscious choice, you don't walk around telling yourself who and who you are not attracted to and weighing the possibilities, it just happens and you accept and go with it. And that goes for everyone not just guys. That type of attraction is physical, what really matters is the attraction to your personality and that as well is a subconscious choice, though it is much easier to mess up.
    Agreed. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For instance, I find girls who are extremely skinny to be unattractive. Does that mean they are unattractive to everybody? No, not really.

    If I`m correct, your question is about whether you need to be attracted to the girl or not during pickup. My answer is this: yes and no.

    If you`re looking to practice your game, just about any girl will do. For my first month in the game, I practiced techniques on girls I was not interested in because it gives you practice and saves your shots on the big game. Attraction, as an emotion, however, can be deadly. There is no thing in this game that you can distrust more than your emotions. Always keep your head in the game, and leave your heart out until you have what you want.

    Attraction is good though, mainly because it acts as a filter for you. Obviously you don`t want to go for a girl who you do not want, right? This is where attraction has its usefulness.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  5. #5
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is attraction really not a choice?

    Attraction is definitely not a choice, if it was a choice we wouldn't feel so frustrated all those times that we missed out on a woman that seemed so ideal to us.
    We would all go on a first date that would happen perfectly, both parties to the first date would have that attraction.
    All truly ugly people would have no chance as no one would choose to be attracted to them.
    Arguments would lead to someone switching off their attraction and, without good cause to switch back, couples would last for shorter time together.
    There would never be heart break but there would also never be that moment that you meet someone and wow, it just works! It's something that you don't need to contemplate, it just happens.

    The frustrating reality is that no matter how well you play your act, no matter how good looking you are or how spot on your character is, you play your cards and wait for the luck of attraction fate to decide what happens.

    We can only give ourselves the best opportunity for it to happen, by looking as good as we can and being the very best that we can be. I have realised that within the last few weeks and I stick to this as a reality. There is no choice, we just see what happens and then either we smile, we cry, and either way we move on in to the future one way or another and take each day as it happens.

  6. #6
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is attraction really not a choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    Agreed. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For instance, I find girls who are extremely skinny to be unattractive. Does that mean they are unattractive to everybody? No, not really.

    If I`m correct, your question is about whether you need to be attracted to the girl or not during pickup. My answer is this: yes and no.

    If you`re looking to practice your game, just about any girl will do. For my first month in the game, I practiced techniques on girls I was not interested in because it gives you practice and saves your shots on the big game. Attraction, as an emotion, however, can be deadly. There is no thing in this game that you can distrust more than your emotions. Always keep your head in the game, and leave your heart out until you have what you want.

    Attraction is good though, mainly because it acts as a filter for you. Obviously you don`t want to go for a girl who you do not want, right? This is where attraction has its usefulness.
    And yet, a lot of this details physical beauty. Attraction can also come from the clicking of personalities and can sometimes be there with no justifiable reason why, or absent in spite of the fact that on the face of it, both parties would appear to be perfectly suited to each other.


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