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Thread: I always text first, why?

  1. #1
    Cashed Jerk is offline PUA in Training
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    Default I always text first, why?

    I text all the girls i know first. This has always been my problem with texting. I make sure i text them every other day but I'm always the one starting the conversation, can anyone please tell me how to stop this?

  2. #2
    monoposto is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I always text first, why?

    lol, sounds like me! Let me know when you figure it out!

  3. #3
    Cashed Jerk is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I always text first, why?

    Lol Okay man. This is a problem for most guys but i'm texting someone now that i really like but she hasn't started the conversation before so I'm thinking of how to make it happen!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I always text first, why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cashed Jerk View Post
    Lol Okay man. This is a problem for most guys but i'm texting someone now that i really like but she hasn't started the conversation before so I'm thinking of how to make it happen!
    Well to answer your first question, this is a problem most guys suffer with because (most) girls don't want to be seen as pursuing guys. Now girls are different and she could genuinely not be interested in texting you first, but if you feel like she likes you, then she is probably just nervous about texting you first and distorting that image of you wanting her.

    This happened to me with one girl where I was always initiating conversation and eventually just stopped because it got so redundant. After a couple of months I got an unexpected text from her and talk to her all the time now, but she texts me just as much if not MORE than I do when initiating a conversation! Like I said before, girls want to perceive that they are being pursued by the man, and as soon as I showed her that I didn't need her (by not texting her at all anymore) it set off something in her subconsciously that made her wonder why I went from texting her all of the time and then just suddenly stopped? I basically just took some of the power from her. The key to get her to continue doing this is to NEVER show signs of neediness. The minute she see's it she will recognize it instantly and she will probably stop texting you first or really be that interested anymore! Don't respond to all of her texts right away and sometimes don't respond at all for a couple of days, and then start a new conversation.Do this once or twice and she will probably respond back to you after a while like It did with the girl in my case. When you are having a good conversation and you just don't text her back it stirs all kinds of emotions up in her making her wonder if it was something she did to stop you from chasing her! Hope I helped and that this girl starts texting you left and right

  5. #5
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I always text first, why?

    Know when to text can be as important as knowing what to text:

    9/10 you will always have to make the initial text, it is very rare for a girl to do this... The only times I ever have a girl text first is if, I leave her my number in an email or on Pof or something (don't do this, as a rule of thumb)

    Your texts should not set into a pattern of replying on a certain day at a certain time, you want them thinking WHY HASNT HE TEXT ME! Think about how much more you want a girl when she doesn't text back for a few days, it drives you nuts. The same is true for women.

    If you are having to send most of the texts, her texts are short etc then you have not built enough attraction. Read T-Mal's guide to Texting for more info.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I always text first, why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cashed Jerk View Post
    I text all the girls i know first. This has always been my problem with texting. I make sure i text them every other day but I'm always the one starting the conversation, can anyone please tell me how to stop this?
    if you are referring to girls that you just met it simply means that your initial attraction isn't high enough. once you master getting that attraction high enough, they will ask that you exchange numbers, text you first and initiate d2'. Good luck.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I always text first, why?

    Don't worry about who initiates contact...
    What's important is the interaction once contact has been established.

    If things click along well, then there's no problem at all.

    I frequently send the first text & it doesn't bother me at all. Most of the time my texts don't require a response.... their more like a "status update".

    But those actually compel the girl to respond, because there's no pressure. I'm not "expecting" a response (even though I'm pretty sure I'll get one.)

    Just make the texting interaction fun! Fun is addictive & also flips the attraction switch.
    So when a girl is addicted to fun, before you know it she'll start contacting you first.

    Don't worry about sending the first text... Just be conscious about expressing non-neediness & a playful vibe.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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