Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 336, Level: 6
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    49
    Points
    336
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    21

    Default New to using freezing out as a technique.

    Hey guys...I never really used the freeze out technique in the hopes of getting rid of one-itis and making a girl "miss me".

    I was teetering on the friendzone ( i know she and I have always had an interest and tension between us....but she was getting from me what she wanted without having to deal withe the tension of sex and realtionships....she was with a boring bf who was boring and never seduced her)I built the proper rappport by being there for her but always dropping hints of sex and seduction in our conversations. ....so right now I am taking that away from her completely with a freeze out....this is how it all basically went down......

    A week agoI brought her out of a huge emotional slump ( Sort of AFC,.,,,but we are friends, so i cant be a dick to her.....its not just some girl at a bar. i was alwasy really good at making her feel better and I would always use KINO....with gradual escalation) but have yet to k-close because she broke up with her BF a couple of months ago and I did not want to be the rebound guy.

    After that particularly emotionally devastating day for her....I brought her back up to normal and feeling happy. And honestly....it was kind of a turn off hearing how emotionally hung up she is about some things (she doesnt miss her bf...but misses being in a relationship),, but i still do carefor her and like her.

    I could tell that a few days later she fell back into her depression and I gave ger some space for a few days.Now that she has been single for a few months and got her rebound douche out of the way I wanted totake the initiative, ....She was always far busier than me(her now ex bf and super busy job), it was always her taking the lead in regards of when we could hang. This time I took the initiative and I said : "Hey lets get you out of (her boring city) and lets do something fun and exciting this friday after work."....her reply was basically "My work schedule changed, i am working evenings/nights for 6 weeks"......which does happen to her but it pissed me off that there was no "lets figure somethign out" follow up.

    So i froze her out for several days and went on a date the night I wanted to take her. I hinted at the date on Facebook and my friends totally blew up my page asking about the hottie I was with ( good wingmen and women).

    Later that night I posted a picture of where I was in LA....and the girl I am freezing out asked " Thats blah blah in LA, isnt it?"

    I read about freeze outs but never got a good grasp about how to deal with a response from the girl freezing out if you have had a long rappport with her ( most freeze outs are about girls you are dating or just met at a bar/online. etc).

    I am at the point where I dont mind losing her, but I dont really want that to happen. Her posting on my facebook stroked the ego a little bit.....but it didnt seem like enough. Should I reward her attempts at contact with a "one word answer"...or let her simmer and make a bigger attempt?.... Also, once things get better between us and she is chasing, should I let her make the attempt to hang out ( as usual), or take the initiative and ask her out agin( even though she pretty muich flaked in that last attempt).

  2. #2
    Gaul is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 63, Level: 1
    Level completed: 26%, Points required for next Level: 37
    Overall activity: 2.9%
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    9
    Points
    63
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: New to using freezing out as a technique.

    Sorry, but you're in the friend zone, deeply. She has used you. fark her and her problems. Keep ploughing on with other girls. Tell that girlyou were in Timbuktu, not LA. Put her behind you unless you just want to be her girlfriend and shrink. Your only chance (and it's a very long shot to say the least) is to meet a sh1t load of women and make sure somehow that she knows about it, elevating your status to superstud. Ignore her. She might get crazy enough to beg you to be with her, but if she doesn't then ditch her, she's not your concern any more, let some other chump listen to her sh1t while you go and get laid. Otherwise, she'll just continue to use you as a shoulder to cry on and treat you like a neutered therapist. Sorry to be harsh, but I'm hoping to motivate you to boot her into touch. She sounds like a leech on your very soul.

  3. #3
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,453, Level: 45
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 97
    Overall activity: 3.7%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    552
    Points
    4,453
    Level
    45
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    230

    Default Re: New to using freezing out as a technique.

    Ok freezeouts are actually more effective if you've know the girl for a while... if its a new girl then she has nothing to "miss".

    I would suggest you don't acknowledge her comment of FB. It's a good thing she looked but she's fishing to see who the girl is... even if she's not saying.

    Ignore it and wait for her to get more meaningful... you're essentially waiting for a message that says "I miss you".

    Once you have that you can re-engage from a stronger position.

  4. #4
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 336, Level: 6
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    49
    Points
    336
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    21

    Default Re: New to using freezing out as a technique.

    GAUL.... no offense but your advice seems to come from a very bitter place.

    SIDEWINDER: You were dead on..... I completely cut out all communication from my initial post but wasnt sure how to proceed until I saw your advice.......I ignored even as she responded and texted me until I got a more "miss you" text where she said " Hey whats going on?Are you mad at me or tired of my BS? I know I am boring and can be a selfish bitch. I am sorry. "...to which I just replied "Oh hey just been busy. hope you are doing better".

    After that was more freezing out...this morning she totally flipped her behavior "Hey! I just realized I have not seen you in forever. I miss your face and all the fun we have. Lets get together when you have time"


    I am purposely going to let most of the day go by and say "Sounds good to me. But it has to be Saturday during the day, pretty busy the rest of the weekend."...as oppose to my usual "sure lets see what day and time works for you" type of response.

    Must say...it feels good..and better...to have the control and be chased Wish me luck

  5. #5
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,453, Level: 45
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 97
    Overall activity: 3.7%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    552
    Points
    4,453
    Level
    45
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    230

    Default Re: New to using freezing out as a technique.

    Good luck mate, that's a textbook freezeout. You've subtly communicated that you're the one who is desirable.

    A word of caution though, don't drop back into a pattern of acknowledging her requests or telling her that you've missed her too. It will completely kill the effect and she will be able to guess at what you're doing.

    Freezeouts can only really be used once as well, if you blow the first one and attempt it again she'll either think you're a dick or guess what you're doing.

    So your position is to maintain the dominant high-value frame. If she says no to saturday and offers an alternative say you're busy... even if you're not. Then re-arrange for a time you want.

    It's about showing her that she is going to have to make time to accommodate you not the other way round.

  6. #6
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 336, Level: 6
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    49
    Points
    336
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    21

    Default Re: New to using freezing out as a technique.

    Quote Originally Posted by sidewinder89 View Post

    A word of caution though, don't drop back into a pattern of acknowledging her requests or telling her that you've missed her too. It will completely kill the effect and she will be able to guess at what you're doing.

    .
    Thanks and very good point. I realized what got me into the friendzone was catering to her emotional voids ....And I even saw it in her first few replies by trying to bate me back into that role.

    I will admit that I was tempted to fall into that comfortable role, but since this site has helped me realize my pitfalls....I am willfully trying to go against my instinct to console her, and only associating with her when she makes more "fun" communication. This is my attempt at Reframing because I fully intend to go more Alpha when we do meet up again.

    Speaking of which...I really want to push her to the edge and pull her back in. I read in this forum and a book that you must take away comfort to cause tension....even if it causes your target pain....because pulling them out of the pain is very seductive once you have them thinking about you.... So my question is this:

    I have been thinking about telling her "we cant be friends"....which would play well into this freezing out. I will just say something to the effect of " Look we both know there is something going on here. My time is vlauelable to me and I know what I have to offer a person. I need someone who is ready and receptive to come into my life and take that journey of happiness with me. I dont think I can give women a fair chance with you around. So maybe in the future we might cross paths...but for now I need to disappear and pursue what and who I want in my life"

    Then either pull her back in when she says" Lets give it a shot" or pull her back after some time has passed with " Hey, whats new with you?"

    Too much? I can see this tactic backfiring since she is in a post-breakup fragile state and feels inadequate( this can either work for me ....or totally backfire because I would be another douchebag who cares about her but abandons her)

  7. #7
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,453, Level: 45
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 97
    Overall activity: 3.7%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    552
    Points
    4,453
    Level
    45
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    230

    Default Re: New to using freezing out as a technique.

    Mmmm I'll be honest I'm not sure as this is a little beyond my expertise.

    However, I would advise against that tactic... it seems a little bit too strong and heavy handed. People don't like ultimatums and it DLV's you a little because she then know's what you're thinking and what you want long-term... the not knowing and trying to work you out is a big part of attraction.

    If it were me I'd simply carry on gaming and keeping things light and fun. Then once you have the attraction and flirting going just go with this... "I like you and in 3 seconds I'm gonna kiss you"

    Then lean in.

    It's high risk but it's much more positive / less aggressive than you're previous route.

    I would run this by another member though as I'm not certain but it is what I would do.


Similar Threads

  1. Please help with Freezing out situation
    By Reds22 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 9
    Last Thread: 10-24-2012, 02:19 AM
  2. How do you deal with your time when your FREEZING OUT a girl?
    By inter1010 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 08-24-2012, 03:47 AM
  3. Freezing out a girl, not sure where to go
    By tehjoeman in forum General Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 08-18-2012, 07:32 AM
  4. Any Advice On Freezing out!
    By Erixzon in forum General Questions
    Replies: 11
    Last Thread: 06-05-2012, 06:12 AM
  5. freezing out
    By rockman in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 05-16-2011, 07:35 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com