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Thread: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

  1. #1
    Ghost141's Avatar
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    Default Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    In a lot of classes I've had everyone knows me at least a little because I talk alot during class.

    I don't mean disruptively talking to the person next to me. I mean real constructive talking.

    I'm constantly asking questions (when they ask if anyone has question), answering questions, contributing to the lecture, and "plugging in" to the lecture.

    Professors love it because it demonstrates that I am involved (unlike some). Because of this almost every professor I've had knows who I am.

    The reason I'm posting it here is because girls seem to respond to it in some way. I guess by doing that, I'm sort of the second most powerful person in the classroom.

    One girl in particular in my art class makes eye contact with me from time to time.

    I of course have no idea if this means she's into me or not. My learining of PUA concepts leads me to believe that maybe I've become the Alpha Student of the classroom, and this might be tugging her attraction strings

    Any thoughts? Advice Input?

  2. #2
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    I think it all depends on the personality of the woman in the class and the kind of questions/participation from your end.
    I've personally always been a dominant class figure sparking alot of female interest but not by doing what you do.
    I personally hate people in class who always ask questions and constantly try to contribute. In my experience most people do. But I'm 100% sure some women will find it attractive because it shows passion and ambition.
    I doubt however you've become the alpha male of the class because in my experience it's never the guy who participates alot. In my experience they are viewed as trying to hard, being a know it all, a needy person who needs alot of validation,...
    I'm not saying it's not possible, I'm saying I really doubt it. But it all depends on the kind of people who attent the class you follow.

    That being said I think if women are attracted to you in this class it will most likely be because the passion/ambition and potential (as a future provider) you show and your participation is viewed as self confidence (depending on how you deliver the things you say, etc. ).

    You need to also give more information on your relationship with this girl if you want proper advice! Have you talked to her before, do you sit next to her, does she come over to talk with you,...

  3. #3
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    If you like participating then by God do it and don't worry what other people think. Just do you. The #1 worst thing you can do is not be true to yourself because of girls, or otherwise. So just don't worry about it and do your thing. Personally, I agree with the above poster I think kids like that usually look like try hards and I get better grades as a lazy pothead anyway. But I don't know you and even if I did it doesn't matter what I think.

    Doesn't matter if you participate in class or not. It just matters that you keep it real and do your thing. That girl likes you go talk to her. Talk to all of em dude, I'm sure ypu got a lot more to offer than class participation. Show em that.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    I've never spoken to her one on one, and she only really knows me by my behavior in class (which might be alpha or not). She sits across from me so during class we can always clearly see each other.
    Class room layout
    [ (her) row of seats ]
    [ row of seats ]
    [ row ]
    [row ] Professor's Desk
    Professor's Podium
    [row of seats (me) ]
    [ row of seats ]
    (Random people filling about half of the other seats)




    She recently gave a presentation about the history of three artists (Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo). While she was getting her things together, she looked at me and smiled nervously at me (kind of a "wish me luck" gesture"), I smiled back and did a corny thumbs up (you'll do fine gesture). During her presentation she was sorta bombing it. When the professor asked for questions and comments I "added on information", which seemed to save her presentation from being a complete failure.

    (BTW, I was the first out of everyone to present (I asked to go first) and not to sound snobby but it was probably the best one because I put a lot of effort into it, and it interested almost everyone, and the professor loved it.)

    I figure now I have a good excuse to talk to her and tease her a little about her presentation, and then try to build from there.

    Plus I like all of us, get flustered around hot girls, but she's not a knockout in terms of looks. I certainly find her attractive, around an 8 by my judgement.
    So that should make it a little easier

    I'm open to any and all suggestions and advice.

  5. #5
    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    If you haven't really talked with her then you know what to do! And try to touch (shoulders etc.) her when appropiate.

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    Ikben is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    How's it going with the girl?!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    Had to skip the last class so haven't seen her for a bit.

    Btw how exactly do I make my move. As soon as the class is over do I just straight up walk up to her before she dispurses with everyone else?

    Do I just try to talk to her one on one after class and then try to build a connection and then just straight up ask her out?

    What's my plan of action?

    Btw I think I'm getting better overall because the idea of rejected suddenly doesn't seem as bad anymore.

    I asked out one girl where I work and she said she had a boyfriend. I shook it of and never brought it up again. I work with her from time to time and it's not weird at all.

    I I ask a girl out and she says no. I'll live.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    2 ways I generally go about approaching a girl in class.

    A) Sit by her. Then talk to her when you get a chance. If you can't talk to her at all during class then wait till class is over and strike up a conversation. Do make your intentions very clear from the jump

    B) If you can't sit by her, just wait til class is over and approach her. There was a girl I wanted to talk to in class a couple of weeks back, but she was one of those girls who left AS SOON AS CLASS was done. So the next time class finished I packed up as fast as possible and ran up to her in the hall.

    Convo went like this:

    Me: Sheesh you leave class really fast, I literally ran to catch up to you, and now I'm out of breath *laugh*

    Her: *laugh*

    Me: You're adorable and I had to meet you. Hi I'm Lonnie, who are you? *extend out hand for handshake*

    Her: blah blah

    Me: Very nice to meet you blah blah

    Let the convo flow from there. Don't over think. Don't even memorize what I just said. Just approach directly, and then introduce yourself. Ideally, try not to talk about class. And if you run out of things to say, cold read her (doesn't have to be right, as matter of fact I'm normally wrong). Example: look at her and be like you're dressed in gym clothes so I bet you listen to techno. blah blah blah.

    Some sticking points depending how nervous you are with women. If you can remember to do this go for it. Instead of getting the number at the end of the convo, see what shes doing. Then set a time frame and initiate an instant date.

    Example:

    Me: Where were you speeding off too anyway?

    Her: I'm was walking to my car to go home

    Me: I have 10 minutes to spare so come with me to get some coffee (doens't have to be coffe, can even be a walk). If she's hesitant or says no, push for it. Be like it's only 10 minutes, I know you have 10 minutes. If the answer is still no then go for the number. *shows persistence and confidence*

    Depending on how comfortable you feel now either try setting up a date for another day *recommended*, or just get the number

    Me: Well listen, no big deal. We'll hang out tomorrow at such and such time. Give me your number.

    Ideally you push the interaction as far as it can go, and if you cannot set up something, just settle for the number and tell her that you'll text her.

    If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me bruh!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    I know I've been posting on here a lot about the art class girl but the truth is I'm scared to ask out girls from school because I'm scared that if I'm rejected by enough girls, then I will get a bad reputation and "get black-listed".

    I've read alot about college game but they all say "social circle game" is the way to go, but I don't have the time to maintain a good social circle. Plus as I said before I'm scared that if I get rejected enough, then I will develop a negative rep among other people's social circles

    So I'm hesitant to "make moves" on girls in school because of this.

    I also have this nagging and vicious limiting belief that girls think I'm creepy and want me to go away. This started back in the 4th grade with the first girl I ever liked. I did the pussy fall in love thing. I only spoke of it with friends and family but everyone else pretty much knew I liked her, and one day she told a friend to tell me to back-off and give her space.

    That broke my spirits and since then I feel like I can't let any girl know I'm attracted to her because she'll shoot me down or quietly wish I would go away.

    I know this limiting belief is irrational but it still persists. To make anything happen with a girl you have to show your attraction to her at some point, which makes me feel very vulnerable and weak. To this day if I like a girl, then I ignore my emotions and suppress my attraction, and basically do nothing because I convince myself that nothing will happen.

    I've walked away from tons of opportunities because of this belief, and ignored plenty of girls who might have been receptive to me. How do I end this cycle?

  10. #10
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not sure if speaking out in class is a strength or not.

    You end this cycle right now, by taking off your shirt, looking in the mirror, and telling yourself that you're the sh1t. A farking boss among bugs. You are approaching women as a favor to them. You are qualifying them to see if they're good enough to be with you. Ultimately, at the end of the day, you're out to make yourself happy. As long as you're not hurting anyone else, fark what people think. You won't get labeled as a creep unless you act a like a creep. There's is absolutely nothing wrong with walking up to someone and saying, "Hey, you're cute (adorable, gorgeous, stunning, well dressed, whatever you want), what's your name? Emily, well very nice to meet you Emily, I'm (insert name)." You don't even have to carry it past that. My challenge to you is to go out and do that to 2 girls whether they are cute or not, just to break out of your comfort zone.

    To get labeled as a creep, it'd be more along the lines of standing in the same corner every day for a an hour hitting on anyone who passes by. Then girls will be afraid to walk past that corner due to the notorious creepy nerd. You are a farkING boss. While you are walking to class (not standing in a corner), stop a girl, smile, and introduce yourself. That's it.

    Edit: Lastly, bro. That sh1t went down in 4th farkin grade. Get over it. Everyone get's rejected when they're a kid. Hell, I get rejected now, ALL THE TIME. I'm no pick up artist, and even they get rejected all the time. I'm just a farking God among men not afraid to do what I feel like doing.


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