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  1. #1
    salgeek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Advice about being with a girlfriend

    Hey guys,

    I just got back with my girlfriend, and I want to make sure I keep the attraction going. I felt like towards the end of our relationship the first time, I was being kind of a wuss with her. I would basically agree with a bunch of things she said wen if I didn't exactly agree, I would eat jealous when she went out with other people, and I would always be the one to say how I felt and that I wanted to spend more time with her. I don't want to feel like a wuss anymore.

    How do I be a good boyfriend while still keeping her attracted. For instance, I love telling her how I feel about her, and kissing and hugging her, but sometimes I go overboard and I know it. Advice?

    She goes out with her other friends a bunch, which is cool, but I just don't want up feel that I am not a part of her social life. How can I make it so she wants to hang out with me?

    I am also in fear that if I disagree with her on stuff, she'll want to go out with people who think more like her. It's messed up but what do you think?

    Basically I feel like in always the one trying to make things happen, meeting up, tellin her how I feel, but I want it to be the other way around.

    Finally, sometimes I feel like I run out of stuff to talk about with her, and it can get a bit awkward because it doesn't feel spontaneous and stuff. Is there any way to make that better, you know to keep things lively, spontaneous, mysterious like it used to be.

    I want her to think about me as much as I do her. Please give whatever advice to any of my questions that you can.

    Thanks a bunch!

  2. #2
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Advice about being with a girlfriend

    Well, first I need to ask... what was the situation where you guys decided that you would get back together? From the details, it doesnt sound too much like you have anything serious.

    If you asked to get back together or even begged, she could have been polite or confused enough to agree to it while she sorted out her feelings.

    Please tell about that aspect.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  3. #3
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Advice about being with a girlfriend

    Alright let's see. It seems like a big part of it was you we're afraid of not agreeing with her and her leaving you for that or not being interested, but let me ask you a question. Have you ever been in an interesting conversation where you just agreed about everything? probably not. You've got your logic a little bit twisted. Girls like being challenged, that's what keeps them interested, the fact that you have your viewpoints and are willing to stand by them and not just give up when she challenges them. Don't be a d!ck about it just have interesting conversation about how you think it's the other way, or how she is not completely right.

    Now about her going out with her friends, don't trip. Go out with your friends, everybody needs time away especially in a relationship. She needs time with her girls, and you need time with your boys it keeps it healthy so no one feels smothered. the trick is to just stop caring so much. Word of caution, don't disagree with her going out with her friends unless it actually becomes a problem, cause that's not a conflicting viewpoint as much as it is being needy. You want to hang out with her on your own time, make her a part of your group of friends if you're worried about it. When you guys hang out it should be just you guys, take her to a movie every once in a while, to dinner, mini golf? Something.

    For the time being I would say to not be all lovie dovy and act less interested, NOT DISINTERESTED, just less. Let her kiss you, let her tell you she loves you. You should still do these things, but you should do these things far less often then she does as a rule of thumb.

    Next. Run out of things to talk about? You don't need to talk all the time, a lot of times it's just better to sit there and enjoy each others company. Put your arm around her, play with her hair, rub her neck, cuddle, etc. And if you feel the need to be spontaneous, then do it, go for a walk for no reason to some random place, play a game (I find the slap hands game to be very useful for small games to kill time ) thumb war, scrabble, teach her how to do something, (I play guitar, and teaching girls how to play an instrument or anything other than a video game to be a great ice-breaker) All of these things can help, and I'm sure you can come up with loads on your own.

    I think you're just over thinking it, you're getting nervous cause you don't know what you should do and it's alright, it happens to everyone. Just be chill, do what you want, and be yourself. And as with everything in life, strive for balance. If at anytime you feel something is wrong try to balance it out with it's opposite and it will fix itself.

    I think that just about covers all of it, you owe me about 20 minutes of my life. Good luck.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  4. #4
    salgeek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Advice about being with a girlfriend

    Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it!


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