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  • 2 Post By sidewinder89

Thread: CRITICAL DECISION..GO or NOGO?

  1. #1
    innovator99.jd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default CRITICAL DECISION..GO or NOGO?

    Alright Men…here it is.

    1)I have always come to the experts in regards to finalizing my decision because your input has always been spot on and extremely helpful. Please read the info below and let me know your opinion. As always, thank you for your advice and time as it will greatly impact my decision in a couple of hours.

    2)My Stats: 26 years old, never married, no kids, great job, in excellent shape,

    3)Her Stats: 30 years old, divorced, two kids, average profession (tries to get by)..MILF shape bangin body ( you guys already know where this is going)

    4)I was running online game and sarging at the same time, found her online six months ago, it was a quick lay and I never thought much of it. Then she started seeing me regularly for sex. It was mindblowing so I didnt stop her despite her stats. One day I was driving back from work and I realized what the hell I was doing. There was an easy chance of her getting emotional, the fact that she had kids, and there was no way in hell she and I were going to be together. I even decided to not spend the nights at her place, always left after sex which bugged the hell out of her. Lo and behold she became emotional over time and went out of her way to treat me like a king: cooking, buying me things, driving over an hour to see me. She even stopped drinking because she knew I didn’t care much for it. She started working out for me, buying new clothes for herself, always doing whatever she could to please me. She showered me with attention, gifts, sex, food etc. The biggest thing that impressed me was that she was extremely TRUSTWORTHY and she worked hard to earn my trust. She even started talking about her past behavior, drinking a lot, drugs, etc. Then came my worse fear, even though I kept telling myself I wasn’t being emotional, deep inside I knew I had a thing for this girl. I was digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself.

    5) Then FINALLY, I received a new assignment to a new location at work. I had realized this was the best time to break it off because there was no way in hell I was going to do a long distance relationship. That backfired, SHE GOT EVEN CLOSER. She decided that she was going to fly to see me and do whatever she could to keep this relationship alive. She would fly to come see me every month and talk to me everyday on the phone which she surprisingly DID. I was shocked. Meanwhile, she changed her phone number, lost a lot of girlfriends because all she did was focus on me. She even stopped going out on the weekends and spent most of her time skyping with me (which was nothing but time consuming). I maintained my relationships with my friends, went out regularly, worked out etc. Then something really farkingg interesting happened…

    6)She texted me and said she was going out, nothing more specific. I totally trust her and knew that she was going to be ok because she normally went out with her brother and sister in law. It’s a Saturday night and I am taking a break from going out so I am sitting in my living room watching a movie with my guyfriends. It’s around 11pm local here and around 1 in the morning where she is at. I get a call from her. And this is what I here this in a totally trashed drunk tone…. “ I really really need you (my name)…please don’t let me drink so much again”. Then the next thing I hear is her falling in the bathroom and starting to throw up EXCESSIVELY. She didn’t realize her phone was still on and I didn’t hang up on her, my bluetooth was still on I was carefully listening. I hear two guys coming into the bathroom where she is throwing up and I hear one of them say “hey..lets go rinse you up…and I have got clean sheets and you can sleep in my bed”. She would respond with “NO..NOO..LET ME GO!”. Then a few minutes later the same guy comes in again, and says “ Are you ready, lets rinse you up, and get you in my bed..ok?” She keeps resisting and saying…”No…..l cant”. All while this is happening, I am still on my bluetooth listing to the whole thing unfold. None of them realize that her phone is still on. Then after fifteen minutes, she starts throwing up crazy, and yells “Help me…plz Help me” The same guy rushes to the bathroom and again asks her if he could rinse her up and put her in bed. She refuses again. This goes on back to back for TWO farkIING HOURS…and then at the two and half hour mark…I hear him approach her again and pull her out of the bathroom without asking her…by then I could tell she was passed out” . Her phone had been on now for three hours, I don’t hear anything….then her phone battery dies and the phone cuts off.

    7)Here are the disturbing things about this scenario
    a.She is at some guy’s house at 3 am getting trashed with none of her girlfriends or any close friends with her, let alone her brother.
    b. She is totally passed out in his bed, not knowing how to get home or whats going on
    c. Then you have some guy continuously coming to check on her every twenty minutes and offering to “rinse her up and put her in his bed because it has clean sheets”
    d. Worse of all….what the hell am I doing listening to this sh1t and in a relationship with a girl that doing all of these things. I could be out sarging or spinning more plates and living my life!

    8)She is going to wake up and call me to explain what happened. She doesn’t know that her phone was on and I was listening to the whole thing.

    9) HERE IS THE QUESTION: I have decided to break up with her, because she had done this to herself. I dont put up with bullsh1t and I am not believer in second chances. HOWEVER, would you guys do the same when she calls or give her time to explain? How should I behave when she calls, instinct tells me to behave normal and act like nothing happened…but ultimately I need to decide whether to cut it off or let her explain. If there is anytime to break it off, this is the time....what do you say?

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: CRITICAL DECISION..GO or NOGO?

    I am very glad that you see that she did this to herself and that you are not trying to "save" her. A lot of men fall into this trap so you are much more mature for your age. Two options:

    1. You could talk with her about what you heard and get it off your chest before you dump her. The risk is that she will obviously try and win you back because the frame is that she fucked up and she will want to correct that. This runs the risk of sucking you back in and giving her another chance. So be careful of that because you do have feelings for her.


    2. You DON'T talk about it and you avoid all the unnecessary drama. But neither of you get closure. She will wonder why you just dumped her which could still make her try to win your affections blindly.

    Break ups are never easy on either side. So I think you should have a talk with her and make it clear why you made your decision. She deserves that much. In either case I think you'll end up with a stalker lol. So take it one step at a time and realize that this will be a process and won't be done after one conversation. Stick to your guns and she should eventually accept the circumstances.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    innovator99.jd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: CRITICAL DECISION..GO or NOGO?

    Holy cow...this is crazy. She is begging right now and balling like a baby...crying super hard. She said she didn't meant to get wasted and is willing to give up alcohol??? She is crying so hard that it is making me feel weird/superbad. I want to end this right NOW ....but the way she is reacting is unbelievable. She had went out with a guy friend and his girlfriend and got wasted. All the noise I was listening to was when she was on the toilet puking.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: CRITICAL DECISION..GO or NOGO?

    Quote Originally Posted by innovator99.jd View Post
    Holy cow...this is crazy. She is begging right now and balling like a baby...crying super hard. She said she didn't meant to get wasted and is willing to give up alcohol??? She is crying so hard that it is making me feel weird/superbad. I want to end this right NOW ....but the way she is reacting is unbelievable. She had went out with a guy friend and his girlfriend and got wasted. All the noise I was listening to was when she was on the toilet puking.
    That's what I was talking about. It's easy to talk about walking away until a woman reacts like that. It pulls at some kind of heart strings if you actually care about her.

    As for her saying she'll give up alchohol...never a good thing. I had an ex that gave up alcohol for me and I didn't even tell her to stop. I just said that I wasn't into it and she got inspired. 6 months later she got mad at me about something and started drinking again. Basically showing me that it wasn't REAL change.

    She has to do it for herself for it to be real change. Not for you. It's a nice gesture with good intentions, but it will ultimately fail unless she learns to do it for herself.

    Of course she was on the toilet puking! What did you think it was? Honestly I think her reaction was just being overdramatic when the guy was trying to help. She was drunk, after all. Beyond her limits and it scared her.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: CRITICAL DECISION..GO or NOGO?

    Ok Ok,

    from my perspective it sounds like you've already made the decision to dump her so you need to do it in the most thorough way possible, you do owe her that.

    given the distance, I get why you're doing it over the phone. Normally I'd advise doing it in person for closure purposes.

    I would suggest you call her and really explain things to her. In short it's not just about the drinking, you just don't want the relationship and you've felt unhappy for a long time. It's not a knee-jerk decision. You aren't ready for the commitment of kids and you don't see the relationship having a future... even if she quit drinking you still wouldn't be happy.

    I think the above is pretty accurate? if so I'd tell her that, it might seem cruel but brutal honesty is the way to go here. Also don't give her any false hope by saying things like maybe in the future, be clear, be firm... its the kindest thing.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: CRITICAL DECISION..GO or NOGO?

    She's 30 has two kids and a past, that's a no. Why would you want to bite that bullet and jump into somebody else's series of mistakes. Run Forrest Run!!!!


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