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Thread: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

  1. #1
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    Ok here's a few basic errors that I am seeing a lot of at the minute, if you're doing these then stop!


    1) Not listening to what she's really saying to you (This is my real pet peeve)

    A big problem I seem to see is guys not paying attention to the neon signs of sub-text staring them in the face when texting a girl.

    If a girl rejects an invite and doesn't suggest an alternate time to re-arrange then she is saying "I'm not attracted to you enough to go on a date" NOT "lets totally do it another time".

    If a girl says "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" she MEANS "I don't want to date you" the "right now" is a courtesy to soften the blow not an affirmative declaration that she's going to marry you further down the line!


    2) Phoning a girl you've never been out with

    Nobody likes speaking to people they barely know on the phone, it's awkward and invasive. Text a girl to set a date.


    3) Bombarding her with texts

    If you're texting a girl it's okay to have a few rapid fire text exchanges but you want to eject before the conversation gets stale, go out on a high!

    Also space your texts out once in a while, if you're busy do something else before you text back.


    4) Asking permission I don't mean become a rapist

    A lot of people are asking a girls permission to do stuff; this is beta. An alpha commands what he wants. If you're saying things like "would you like to...?", "do you fancy...?", "are you free...?" slap your hand and flush that iphone down the toilet.


    5) One-itis

    This should be obvious to most, but there seem to be a lot of people attached to a single girl... If you do this then you'll kill your chances because you will inevitably come across as far too keen and needy.

    It's the paradox of appearing both interested and disinterested at the same time to build attraction and keep her guessing.

  2. #2
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    The not listening one is my pet peeve when you are actually in field, Iv seen so many guys talk to girls and they reply and they just move on....rather than listening and then giving an appropriate response, soooo annoying lol

    Linking x

  3. #3
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    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    Very good list. The "don't talk about yourself, especially depressive shit" is also a very common mistake.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    Disagree with the first two on the list. I agree with number in title, but the examples are bullshit IMO. Persistence works wonders, and has for years. "I don't want to be in a relationship" can be a shit test as much as it can be a turn down.

    Number 2 I just straight up disagree with. Sure, people tend to text now adays, but PUAs are supposed to be the exception. There is nothing wrong with calling someone. That's how it was done for decades before texting was invented.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    Amen Duke. There are always exceptions to all of the rules here. For example, I recently sent 15 text messages in a row to a girl as a joke. Three days, now, we have gone out to breakfast and hung out doing all sorts of interesting things. It's not a matter of "Never do this". It's a matter of reasoning "Is this the right move".

    Man's greatest advantage is logic and deduction. Use it.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  6. #6
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    Duke, massively disagree. Persistence is fine but you are much better off just getting a yes from the get go rather than badgering a girl into a date.

    AND you have to remember that there are cultural discrepancies. English people don't like speaking to a complete stranger over the phone as a general rule. Texting is better because it allows you more time to think about what you're sending and self-edit and avoids the putting pressure.

    As for the sub-text, I don't mean that this is what she's saying EVERY time she throws out one of those statements but if you're a beginner then that interpretation is probably most likely

  7. #7
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    Yeah I'll side with sidewinder on the cultural differences, Iv tried texting and calling recently and had a lot more success texting, English girls do find phoning a stranger a bit weird

    Linking x

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    If it works and its stupid it isn't stupid. People always break the rules and that's the beauty of the game is that it doesn't make sense for every situation. People are different and react differently. The one I love it number one. When listening to a girl I love to cut myself off and just listen. Even taking a few seconds to say something you thought of after she speaks does so many good things for you.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    I agree that listening to a woman is very important. But "listening" and complying with her directions are two different things. At least half of the time woman are just shit testing you.

    If a woman in the bar says she has a boyfriend, do you "take the hint" and leave? I hope not! If so, you've just cut your prospects down rather significantly.

    Also, there is so much more to "listening" to someone than just hearing what they are saying. The words actually spoken carry only a fraction of the meaning the person is attempting to convey.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  10. #10
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Top 5 easily avoided mistakes

    Exactly my point, it's about sub-text and meaning. The "I have a boyfriend line" can mean just that, or it's a "please try a bit harder". Learning to read which is the way forward.

    The "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" depends on context. If you're trying to get an ex back and she trots that phrase out, it usually means it's a no go. But it can also be a shit test. What I mean is people should exercise better judgement on which one it is.


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