Ok, here's something that recently happened to me and I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell is going on, so I'm putting it up on here to see if any of you expert PUAs can help me out.
I'm 53 (I look 10 years younger, not fat and no gray), divorced for 3 yrs, on good terms with ex (no sex with her since split), have met and dated 9 different women since, slept with 2, turned down 3, and wanted to with 3 others (including the one I'm about to tell you about), but couldn't close the deal.
Ok, so last Saturday a really cute lady (48) contacted me on one of the dating sites I'm on that she was “intrigued” by my profile. I sent her a message back and we traded a few through there, then I sent her my cell number and asked for her to text me sometime. She texted me within 45 minutes, and we went back and forth for about 70 texts over the next hour. The texts were getting sexual, I put on the dating site that I had a weakness for big boobs, and she texted me asking if 36DD was “big enough”. I said oh darling, those are plenty for me. Then she says we can either continue texting or meet later, so we made plans to meet at Applebees that same night.
We met there at 8:30 and she was definitely what she appeared to be online. Good looking, nice body, and easy to talk to. I found out her ex was 6'2” and 300 lbs, and she had known him since high school and they had 2 grown kids, 22 and 20, about the same age as mine. She was only 5'3”, a nurse and also going back to school. She said they tried to reconcile in 2010 but it “didn't work”, and I got the feeling she hadn't had any since then.
We stayed at Applebees until about 11:00 pm, then we finally left. I was the one who looked at my watch and said it was probably time to go, she never said anything about leaving. We walked out to her car and I kissed her after she had gotten in and rolled down the window. It wasn't a just peck but we didn't linger either, only a little tongue. I didn't say anything about seeing her again, and neither did she. I thought we had a great night and I couldn't wait to get home and to do what I thought would be some more “sexting”.
It took me about half an hour to get home, and she lived really close to where we met so she would have been home for a while by then. There was no text from her by the time I got back, so I sent her a short one asking “if her posse knew she was safe”. Never got a response back. I did that because she mentioned having a bunch of friends, any of who would “protect” her at any minute if she needed it. She told me that the last “first date” she was on, she had to sneak out the back of a bookstore because the guy was a creep and she was looking for a way to ditch him. She also said her friends would have to “approve” of me, as there was another girlfriend of theirs who married a guy she met and they “never saw her again”. I should mention that during our date, her phone was blowing up with texts from her friends asking how it was going (it was on silent, but she showed it to me and there were about 50 texts from them), and that she almost didn't tell them she was meeting me because she didn't want any of them to follow her to Applebees.
Since I never got a response back from the one text I sent after the date, I sent her one more the next day with a pic of something neutral we had talked about. I didn't ask what happened or what she thought. No response to that one either. By the next day (Monday) my curiousity was absolutely killing me, so I logged on to the dating site we met on (no message from her there either) and sent her a message saying I had a great time with her and thought she did too but maybe not, and asked her if I had already been “kicked to the curb”, saying if so, “that was fast!” . So far no response to that either. I did see that she was online yesterday, so she has obviously seen my message.
I am trying to figure out what the hell went wrong here. I have purposely held off on any more contact, because I don't want to be the needy clinger and don't want to completely kill any chance of ever seeing her again. I had asked her about a second date near the end of our night at Applebees, and she said yes. I just can't figure out why I haven't heard from her by now, when she clearly knows I'm interested. At this point, my plan was to call her in a few days just to see how she's doing (and to see if she even answers the phone).
What could it be? Did her friends already jackpot me without even meeting me? Did she look at all of their texts after she got home (or maybe even talk to them) and decide I was already out? Did I spend too much time on the first date (2 ½ hours) and ruin it? I wasn't getting any signals to that effect. I know it should have been way shorter, but I was into her and neither of us had any plans, plus I knew we wouldn't be able to see each other again during the week because of our work so we just stayed and talked. Also, she only had one drink and I ate some appetizers and had no drinks, and I paid the bill.
I'm very picky on the kinds of women I'm attracted to, and this one was the first in a while I really wanted to see again.
Any ideas on wtf happened here, and how to proceed?? Much appreciated my fellow PUAs, thanks!