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  • 4 Post By scguitar
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Thread: Why am I unable to flirt impromptu

  1. #1
    jackmystery is offline Aspiring PUA Forums
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    Default Why am I unable to flirt impromptu

    I go out to do something, usually I meet some girls or women during the process, and I have the opportunities to strike up a conversation with them or flirt with them, however, I find I end up not doing that in reality. Why? I think there are four reasons:

    1. I need to be high-profile, so I can get people's attention. But in real life, I often keep a low profile and I don't want people's attention. I feel it is more comfortable.If I am high-profile, people look at me, they may whisper with each others, they may make sniggering comments.

    2.To flirt with a girl or woman, I need to be high-energy state. I don't want to keep a high-energy state, because I think my energy is a constant, if an energetic state will consume me more energy, thus I have less energy for other matters. I worry that It will consume my limited energy.

    3. I often think about the matters I need to do, I am obsessed with the things undone, I can not completely live in the present moment.If I want to be attractive on the spot, I need to have myself immersed in that occasion.

    4.If I flirt with a girl or woman, it will slow down the things I do. For example, if I go to see a doctor, normally I need 1 hour, but if I flirt with the doctor, I may need 1.2 hours to finish it.

    What's your take?

  2. #2
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Why am I unable to flirt impromptu

    Wrong, wrong, yes, and wrong.

    1) You don't have to be anybody. You want to be high-profile, but if you stay low-profile, you'll never be high profile. Dating coaches do day game all the time in areas where nobody knows who they are (aka on the street).

    2) You don't need to be high energy. If you're low energy, it can slow the conversation down, make you more relaxed, and make you come off better. High energy matters in night game, but not so much in day game.

    3) You do need to be in the moment, but you can't because you're too outcome dependent. This is why you can't get in the moment. Bro, you're going to mess up. You're going to get your ego bruised. That is the reality of the situation. You get over it. Just go out and make an ass of yourself and laugh about it later.

    4) You can get a girl's number in 2 minutes. You don't need an hour long conversation. If you're friendly, direct, and have confidence from the get go, and are congruent in what you say, think, and do, you can get a number easy.

    You're simply making excuses is my take. I did the same thing. Every day, I saw a pretty girl and rationalized why I shouldn't say something to her. It's natural. It induces a fear, like you could die if you talk to her, and your brain goes into fight or flight mode to ensure survival, and when it comes to talking to girls, it's usually flight. Only you can have the will power to break out of it.

  3. #3
    jackmystery is offline Aspiring PUA Forums
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    Default Re: Why am I unable to flirt impromptu

    I also find that I am very serious in many cases, I can't lighten up, I can't keep a playful mindset. I am so serious.

  4. #4
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    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Why am I unable to flirt impromptu

    Please stop labeling yourself. If you have stuff to do and u dont want to game then dont. If you feel like you want to game then do. Either way, there is no pressure to do anything.

    Personally, some of my best daygame is when i am serious and have stuff to do. My eyes usually meets a girl's, i say hey and i naturally game her. Since my attitude is 'whatever' I have no pressure on any outcome which helps alot (but i am naturally energetic so i need to calm down a little alot of times lol)
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


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    Default Re: Why am I unable to flirt impromptu

    It's not always about "high-energy"...
    The REAL key is to have FUN!

    If YOU'RE having fun, the people around you will also have fun.

    It just takes practice & repetition to become better at flirting so that it feels more natural instead of like you have to "try".

    Also- I'll be blunt & honest.
    If you're afraid of drawing attention to yourself & you're worried about other people talking about you, then you're never going to be successful... whether it's with women, or in life in general.

    Blending in & keeping a low profile means you will be ignored.

    So you need to decide what you REALLY want & figure out what you have to do in order to achieve it.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Why am I unable to flirt impromptu

    Gotta be in the moment dude. The time is always NOW. 10 minutes from now is still gonna be now. Be aware dude, this is life, it's happening! Try to enjoy it.

    Good advice in here, thanks guys.


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