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Thread: GF is acting cold

  1. #1
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Red face GF is acting cold

    I've been seeing my gf for about 3 months, we were really hot and heavy for each other.

    a few days ago we had a fight we made up
    but now I feel she is cold, Ii makes me feel cold too
    I'm not sure about this girl I like her a lot we even met each others family, but now she doesn't seem the same

    she has remarks like we were talking about me making braids in her hair, and she said she already gave up on me considering that.
    also other behavior she wants me to quit smoking and tries to get me do things for her.

    am I being a dick Or maybe I should cut her loose or even breakup and get back together to get her appreciating what we have?..

  2. #2
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF is acting cold

    If you break up with her, do it because you can't see a future for the both of you, not because you want her to value you more and to get back together again.

    You shouldn't have to change yourself on her whims or you lose your self identity. I would advise you to recognise only why she wants you to change...and...if it's to improve yourself, consider whether you want to change for that reason. She may care about you and want you to be a better person for you, if so then great! If not, if it's purely selfish and you being shaped to her mould, you have to think how much you are happy to change and why?

    I believe it's also important how she wants you to change. If she gives you a hard time, to get you to change, then you could think whether that helps you or makes you feel worse. Talk with her about these changes, be willing to consider changes which are for your benefit but try to see if she can be supportive to you making those changes. Let her know that her view is important to you but, that she needs to understand and be accepting of your view too.

    Don't forget too that relationships aren't all smooth sailing, it's how you both work together in the colder & harder times that gives more of an insight in to how the pair of you might be in the long term. Is what you have at the best of the times worth the harde times that you feel you are enduring now?

    Sorry if this reply is patchy but I'm writing this on a break.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: GF is acting cold

    Don't forget that EVERYONE has "bad days" occasionally.
    Sometimes a girl is just gonna be in "a mood"... It happens.

    Guys need to learn to deal with it & remain positive & keep the Alpha attitude.

    Last night my fiancee seemed a bit "cold / distant" when we went to bed. She got in, covered up on the edge of the bed facing away from me & fell asleep.

    I was like "????"
    But I remembered she had a stressful day & was just burnt. So I fell asleep too.

    A couple hours later, she rolled over & wrapped her arm around me & we cuddled & kissed for a few minutes before going back to sleep.

    Then this morning when the alarm went off, I was treated to a display of her oral talents.

    So, if a girl seems "cold", just remember that moods change like the weather.
    Just express confidence & that you care about her... and that you're there to support her if she needs you.

    As far as her wanting you to quit smoking...
    Don't look at that as her trying to change you; look at it as her caring about you & your health.

    YOU know it's bad for you... so ask her to help you & support you as you try to quit. Make her your "partner" in that goal. She'll feel important & special because you included her in something that big.

    Basically: don't over-analyze everything.

    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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