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Thread: Getting our of your head?

  1. #11
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    I totally agree with the puas above me.One thing about mastering something you don't get is by even attempting the bits that make you uncomfortable.

    With time it all comes to you and it is when you are able to think through it as in have it glued in your unconscious will you start to flow.it takes huge input.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    I'd have to partially disagree with trying to get outside of your head. I like to try to get inside of my own head as often as possible. I've been studying Buddhism now for a while, and I have discovered some interesting things through my meditations. The point of meditation in Buddhism is to focus and identify your own desires. To figure out what your desires are, go do some meditation and only focus on your breathing and nothing else. If you find yourself detracted from your breathing, that is your desire distracting you. When you perceive this, you should remember it and work towards eliminating this desire. Through eliminating your desires, you eliminate your fears of failure and need to go after someone.

    The reason I partially agree is because of what occurs after meditation. After meditation occurs the Fire Watch, which is a period of extreme concentration. What you basically do is you focus on EVERYTHING around you. You pass by some furniture in your house. What kind of furniture is it? What color is it? How does it feel? You interact with your surroundings and stay in the present. This is absolutely perfect for pick-up artists because it is training to keep them focused on their objectives.

    Another thing to keep in mind is just practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Now, it's virtually effortless for me to fire up a chat with a stranger. You'll get there eventually too, you just have to be willing to put in the work though.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #13
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    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    Gotta love eastern religions. They got it right that the power we all hold is within us, as people, and as pua's.

  4. #14
    Sirdinkleburg is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    What I have noticed especially, is in that my developing confidence, I'm actually becoming nervous.

    The days where I just go and just flow are great. But other days, I'm nervous because I feel like I might not be portraying the right things.

    My biggest deal is trying to eliminate the "I need to be more _____" or "I should be doing ______"

    I'm a confident person, but I often overthink things. Does meditation help with that?

    I believe that Buddhism is right in the focusing on your own desires thing, but I can't focus on other things if my thoughts are clouded by insecurities.

    I know I could just drop thinking about myself all together, and just do what I want, the alpha way. But everytime I try, I just find myself trying harder to fight the insecurities rather than them being gone.

    Anyone experienced this and have any suggestions?

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirdinkleburg View Post
    What I have noticed especially, is in that my developing confidence, I'm actually becoming nervous.

    The days where I just go and just flow are great. But other days, I'm nervous because I feel like I might not be portraying the right things.

    My biggest deal is trying to eliminate the "I need to be more _____" or "I should be doing ______"

    I'm a confident person, but I often overthink things. Does meditation help with that?
    It can. What would probably work for you is visualization. The point of visualization is to act out your scenarios and expose you to the experiences that you are preparing for. Although I wrote it for seducing women, my thread here gives you the basic jist of how it works and how to do it, and yes it can be done alone and on yourself.

    Other than that, it's a simple matter of practice, practice, and more practice. The more you do it, the less you think about it and the more natural it becomes for you. Repetition makes habit, and habit makes the things we want to do easier for us.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirdinkleburg View Post
    I believe that Buddhism is right in the focusing on your own desires thing, but I can't focus on other things if my thoughts are clouded by insecurities.

    I know I could just drop thinking about myself all together, and just do what I want, the alpha way. But everytime I try, I just find myself trying harder to fight the insecurities rather than them being gone.

    Anyone experienced this and have any suggestions?
    I do know what you're going through. For the first month while I was in this, my old self was constantly fighting against who I was. I had to consciously and tirelessly fight against myself. It takes some time, but eventually everything insecure, negative, and unworthy of yourself will die off. It's just a matter of hard work and patience.

    The point of meditation in Buddhism is to help you concentrate, identify your desires, and latter expose yourself to and experience the now. With a lot of practice, you can eventually get to the point where you can fully concentrate in your meditations. Of course you're not going to be able to focus only on your breathing the first time, no one can. It takes practice, and like all things, practice makes perfect.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    I know I could just drop thinking about myself all together, and just do what I want, the alpha way. But everytime I try, I just find myself trying harder to fight the insecurities rather than them being gone.
    security will only come from experience, the more you do the better you'll get at pua.

    i have found that the best way to get out of your head like this is to have some good female friends who you can flirt with in a "no consequences" pretext (as in no matter what you say or do you can't fail because you're not trying to get anywhere with them) i cannot stress the importance of female friends enough.

    the more exposure to wemon you get, the better you will get at naturaly flirting around them. (i like to think of it as a sort of form of exposure therapy)

  7. #17
    Sirdinkleburg is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    But women are only part of the problem. I'm a confident guy, but I'm trying to develop unbreakable confidence with everything I do.

    The rest of my life takes priority over girls and that's what I'm focusing on. I'm moreso trying to become the best me, the guy who just in "DO" mode all the time. I want to be the best me, not the best PUA. Women come second and I know that they will come if I focus on me. I just don't want my thoughts to be clouded with second guessing myself, unconfident thoughts, etc.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    The rest of my life takes priority over girls and that's what I'm focusing on. I'm moreso trying to become the best me, the guy who just in "DO" mode all the time. I want to be the best me, not the best PUA. Women come second and I know that they will come if I focus on me. I just don't want my thoughts to be clouded with second guessing myself, unconfident thoughts, etc.
    confidence comes from experience, odds are you won't be 100% confident at anything until you've done it a bunch. for instance when i first started rock climbing i had a terrible fear of leeping for handholds that were just out of reach, i always thought i would end up falling and i didn't trust that the rope would catch me every time, but with practice i became alot better at climbing and inadvertantly alot more confident in my ability to climb. you will second guess yourself when you first start out at anything, its only natural. but once you get used to doing what you do, you become more confident in your ability to do it.

  9. #19
    Sirdinkleburg is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    Alright. I believe that.

    But for me, when I correct my body language, more often that not, it makes me feel insecure if that makes any sense. I know it looks better, but when I tell myself "Stop doing this ___ and do ______", it makes my thoughts go all over the place and I get more nervous.

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Getting our of your head?

    when I tell myself "Stop doing this ___ and do ______", it makes my thoughts go all over the place and I get more nervous.
    with regards to body language, old habits die hard... but there is good news, your body language will alwys show your state of mind, wich means that when you feel confident and happy your body language will fix itself without any conscience effort at all!
    however this is a double edged sword, when you don't have that great state of mind, don't try to fake your body language (it will only make it worse) instead, just don't think about it, let your body language be natural without you trying to "correct" it. that way it will always be congruent with how you feel.

    in addition if you really want to have great body language all the time, you can try doing martial arts (thats what i did) or taking a dance class or even a communications class at a local college (all of these will help you to be naturaly expressive with your body language)


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