I was thinking through my problem and I think I discovered the root of it.
I'm always comparing myself to an "Alpha" Male. That's what gets me down on myself. I need to learn to make solid progression towards being more alpha and progressing my skills, without comparing myself to an alpha male.
I know I'm not supposed to give a sh!t about what others think about me. And that includes my warp view of an Alpha male. So what I'm wondering is how did you guys start progressing towards a better you, without getting obsessed with the idea of having to follow the "Alpha Rules"? Alphas don't play by rules, and it's a crutch I need to break. For my sanity, and for my progression