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  1. #1
    troubador30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Everything but ulimate

    I've known this girl for a few years. The last year or two we've slept together several times. We've done everything in bed - and I mean everything - except actual sex. What's going on? Why is this such a big deal to her? She says it's better if I don't push her and she'll chase me. Evidently the final thing is a big emotional deal for her.

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Everything but ulimate

    I had this same problem with my ex, and a good friend of mine put his girlfriend through the same deal. Here goes some things to know about this situation.

    # 1: Take into consideration her personal feelings. Her beliefs may put her against having sex. It is always possible to overcome these, but it takes a lot of work and trust to get to that point. If her beliefs are set against sex, then you shouldn't force anything. Forcing her only makes you look bad and it makes her feel bad as well.

    # 2: What happens after the ultimate? Once you finally get to home base, and you are happy that you have reached the end, what comes next? There's no new bounds to explore, you've reached the pinnacle. Sex sometimes leads to separation, mainly because after that there really isn't anything else. There's no more draw or allure from either side. The baiting of sex is something that can both keep a relationship together, or destroy it, based on what the romantic intentions are of each side.

    My good friend laid it down with his girlfriend that they were to NEVER reach home base. Why? Because they were afraid that if they did, it would ruin the relationship. Plus keeping sex out of reach created a sort of love tension that kept the relationship together for a very long time. They did hit third base numerous times and did all sorts of other things, but they never made it to the ultimate.

    If you both reach the top and you like it, that's great. Just make sure you don't overdo it though and through the social aspect of the relationship out of the door.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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