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  1. #1
    cooljay88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    Hello


    There is this girl from school that was attracted to me from day one, i teased her and she loved it. We started to talk on the phone for hours at a time, talking about childhood memories, movies, travels, pretty much everything (excluding her and my past love life). We were working as group in a project with her friend and another girl, and i got into an altercation with her friend that resulted in mass insults back and forth and me calling her(the girl i like) out for taking her side, and told her that we are friends no more.. But, at the back of my mind i knew i still liked her, i messaged her the other day saying "just watched the new GI joe movie, reminded me of you" she replied by saying "interesting?" i said "i won't be able to look at you the same way", she replied "okay weirdo.. lol". I then messaged her last night asking her when her economics final(we take the same class at different times) was, seeing it as a good opportunity to rekindle flames.

    She then exploded, saying "are we talking??" "are we friends again?, because last time i checked we weren't" . I replied " Lol.. I'm tired of these games lets be cool". She then went off on a huge out burst "telling me that i should apologize for the shit i pulled and that after that she will think about being "cool", and that we both are not in dire need of friends and would survive without a new friend, and unless i wanted to be freaking genuine that i shouldn't bother. I replied by saying "lets go for some tea(i know she prefers it over coffee), I'm going to be at school studying on my econ", she replied by saying "not in school till 5", i said "ill probably still be there msg me when you get in." , (No reply from her)

    Sorry for that long passage, if she shows up and messaged me around 5, i will be meeting her. I am expecting the interaction to go sour, she having an outburst and me having one too. I feel like if i apologize i will be giving her all the power and that she will never respect me or be attracted me more than a friend. During this time away, i have been really into self improvement, dressing better being more confident , talking to a lot of girl, she might have noticed this patter change.

    What do you think i should do? how can i use that emotion of "anger" and change it into "love" ,what are things i can do during the interaction today that will turn the tides into my favour? I thank you in advance, i could use any of your knowledge today. Please do reply


    Thank you,

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    You went from Friend Zone to enemies....

    And no.... using Anger isn't going to help your cause at all.

    Having "emotional outbursts" isn't an Alpha quality, so if you're expecting to have them, then you might as well get over this girl & let it go.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    cooljay88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    It was an alternative i saw playing it out, what are your suggestions? what would an alpha do?

  4. #4
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    You are getting mad at a girl (the one you are interested in) for taking sides with another girl who is her friend?

    That's what girls do. You are asking her to chose, and she won't. By asking her to, you already made the decision for her.

    At this point, you already defined yourself to her as that guy who outbursts at other girls and calls them names.

    That is literally what girls do to other girls. An Alpha wouldn't of ever gotten mad like that. He would of taken that situation and used it to his advantage and would have been the better man/woman/person.

    Talking for hours on the phone is for couples or defined "relationships". You were her friend in those instances, not a potential love interest. Maybe she might have had those feelings, but you didn't escalate anything other than showing her you are a good friend to talk on the phone with.

    My Advice: move on. find someone else. You just made it real awkward. You tried to be confident and collected to her AFTER the fact that you just blew up at her friend and told her that you aren't friends because she isn't on your side or sticking up for you. There is a lot to learn, and being calm, collected, cool, and being able to control emotions is key in inner development.

  5. #5
    cooljay88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    Thank you for your reply, i guess you're right, well what do you suggest i do if she shows up at 5pm today, do i bail? if i do meet her how should i interact?

  6. #6
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    depends what you want out of the interaction.
    You can either try to avoid her forever and never interact. Or you can just be civil and say hi.

    Let her show up, who cares? I wouldn't go out of MY way to see her. I'd just act like I have my own things I have to do.

    If I am studying, I'm studying.

    There really is no good advice to give other than you can hope she has looked past the whole outburst situation. You can try to sweet talk her into a friendship again. Or you can let it be, be civil, and move forward.


    I was hooking up with a girl once, thinking maybe she was gf material, but then I realized it just wasn't right. I told her flat out what I felt and thought. She despised me for weeks and months onward. Did it make me a bad guy? No. Not in my eyes. Ultimately, I am looking out for me.

    Was she upset, yes. Reasonably so? yes. But eventually she realized the same. She realized that it wasn't right. Then guess who still is my friend, still comes to me for advice, and still finds me sexy and always tells me. Her.

    Do I lead her on, no. Can I have her? maybe. If I tried. But I don't because I don't need to or want to.

    Bottom line is, girls know a good guy. I was civil with her even when she refused to be. I didn't outburst, I didn't call her names or get mad. I understood that women are emotional. They are emotional before they are logical. But I still stayed calm and collective and confident in who I was.

  7. #7
    cooljay88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    Damn so you're saying there is not a chance in the world for a market reversal? No hail mary move i can try? anything from your past experiences?

  8. #8
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Urgent response need by 5pm pst

    I actually would say to meet up with her. If you just walk away now, you're leaving on a bad note. Bad notes can come back around and bite you in the ass and harm your chances with other people.

    I would say whether you meet up with her or not, you need to own up to your mistakes and apologize to her. Say something like:

    "You know, you're right. I really was an ass back then for what I did to you and your friend."

    There's is nothing beta with submitting to her and telling her she is right. This is like dumping the Atlantic Ocean on the raging fire you have created. It will be put out pretty quickly, and she will calm down and not hold any grudges against you for what you did. Why? Because you are owning up to your mistakes and admitting fault.

    After this interaction, you should then drop it and move on. This will be the best outcome for you, because at least you're leaving from her in a better state than what you would have been preserved as.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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