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  1. #1
    Opie19 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Asked girl out, got a friendly reply

    Hi everybody

    Thought I was getting IOIs from a coworker - casually suggested drinks, but framed it in a context that was definitely "date sounding".

    The reply I got is most likely exactly what I think it is - "a friendly drink sounds good". I can read between the lines on that one, but we did set a date.

    I do believe the fact we're coworkers may be a stumbling block for her. Though we are in very different areas of the company and don't actually work together.

    My question is: what's the play here? Act like it's a date? Any way in particular I should be treating this situation in expert opinions? Or am I reading her response for exactly what it is... Friendly and not more?

    Thank you!

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Asked girl out, got a friendly reply

    There's no such thing as date/friendly acting. You should always flirt. Why? Because it's funnier than building rapport.

    Best of luck!

  3. #3
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    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Asked girl out, got a friendly reply

    Treat it as a date at first. See how she reacts to kino. Her reaction to your touch will tell you all you need to know about how she plans to proceed with your "friendly drink."

    In all honesty, why would she say yes if all she wanted was a plutonic drink? That being said, I know lots of women who are na´ve about guys and tend to think that when they ask them out they truly are just asking as a friend. Of course, an honest male knows that there are rarely instances where you go out with a female as a "friend" with no ulterior motive.

    The key is to make it known right from the get go that you have no intention of having just a friendly drink, but don't be so blatant about it that you're smacking her in the face. By this, I mean, don't tell her, "Hey, I'm not looking to be friends. This is a date!" Instead, use kino, like I said, and be fun and flirty.

    My overall assessment is that she's not expecting just a friendly drink, but make sure she knows that too
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
    BearScoob is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Asked girl out, got a friendly reply

    The Duke is right. Build attraction, comfort, and then KINO escalate....always be seducing. Of course dont go with both feet in from the get go( kinda like The Duke said, dont make it obvious) but definitely go in with the intention of a date from the get go, very subtly, and escalate from there based on what you can seduce out of her.

    Most girls will reply like this if there is a hesitation.... imagine the roles are reversed . Most girls kinda freak out and put up a safe wall when they are asked out in her mind its like " I am not sure if hes asking me on a date, but no harm in hanging out. We can be friends or this can potentially turn into something if something happens. Let me just be safe for now and make it friendly"

    I suggest you attempt a change of venue if drinks go well, as a second date on the same night. I see it would be hard to kiss close after a "friendly drink" with a co-worker, but if you build up tension, go to another venue the same night, then you change the dynamic and can make it seem more like a real date.

    Yeah a girls inner monolgoue is that contradictory and complex. haha.

  5. #5
    Opie19 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Asked girl out, got a friendly reply

    Thank you all for the comments. Great insights. I really appreciate it guys.

  6. #6
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    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Asked girl out, got a friendly reply

    This is border lining a sh1t test. She may be seeing if you go along with it or not, it may be her way of weeding out guys that just want I her pants from ones who want a real relationship. After all an AFC would go along with it and if he failed to be interesting he goes to LJBF. Whereas a dude just looking for some tail will decline or make an excuse of why he can't show.

  7. #7
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Asked girl out, got a friendly reply

    I flirt. I flirt with my friends. I flirt with girls I like. I flirt with old ladies. I flirt with gay guys. I flirt totally and always.

    I have had the best luck with casually suggesting a date, but basically you need to be kino escalating the whole time, let us know if you are unsure of how to kino escalate. It is what makes the difference between friends and more than friends. Just keep moving forward til she stops you...figuring out the pace to take is the hard part.

    There is a difference between being "friends" and "just friends". You always start as friends. "Just friends" means that you never do anything romantic or sexual together. I have had a girl tell me we were friends and then get in there that night. Don't take a girl telling you you are her friend to mean that you are JUST friends
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple


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