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Thread: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

  1. #1
    FunDanceMan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    So I met a girl online and did a pretty decent job presenting my best self...

    She wants to fly me out across the country to her state. However, she thinks Im some cool guy and has a nice job.

    She doesn't know that:
    - I live with my parents
    - I cant drive (in NYC its not too uncommon for people not to have a car or license.)



    It like she has this skewed view of me and I havent entirely honest. She's really independent and joked "its not like you live with your parents or anything right haha?" I paused and before I could answer she remembered something else she wanted to say.


    It's like wow this girl is amazing, personality and lookswise. She's offering to fly me. But its like I had my chance to tell her and the moment slipped.

    Whats the best way of mentioning these two things to her?

  2. #2
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    This isn't going to go well!!

    You need to tell her the truth. Living with the parents is not ideal but most people will accept that it's a temporary measure before you move on.

    Now listen:
    Never lie to women
    You will always get caught and most women will respect honesty. If a girl isnt happy to date the real you then it will never work.

    Swallow your pride tell the truth and take the hit. Consider it a life lesson

  3. #3
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    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    Both issues shouldn't be a big deal just be honest over them if they cannot accept them then do you really want them or not?

    Respect is a two way road.

  4. #4
    FunDanceMan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    So an update:

    It feels like she's coming off the high. A different problem entirely.

    The text and calls are less frequent. She likes to call often, but the vibe is different.

    Should I not respond to all her texts/calls ? I was thinking about doing a freeze out. But for how long?


    Also should I wait a long time for her to say something like: Why did you stop talking to me? : ( .... And I might respond with: Im not used to texting and calling so much everyday. I mean we could be the two sexiest people in the world but talking everyday can just kill a beautiful spark. That was too much dork.

  5. #5
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    No No, so have you actually told her about the lies etc?

    If so that's why she's a little off. She's still contacting you every day, why don't you just up the flirting organise a meet-up. Btw it is your responsibility to control the vibe of the conversation (see frame control).

    Oh and the last comment is a definite no, it comes across very odd.

  6. #6
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    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    Never confront about why she didn't respond makes you look needy very needy

  7. #7
    FunDanceMan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    No I meant she's calling me. But she is one of those "nice" girls who would probably call her friends lots.

    I didnt tell her about the lies. Before I could tell them within a DHV story, I just noticed a big drop in spark and attraction. Pretty sure shes seeing other people, I live far away so thats understandable.

    Should I get back to her, or freeze her out? We were talking like EVERYDAY. So that could have killed attraction or the fact that I suddenly stopped talking to her may make her think Im just an asshole.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    The fact that you're still talking so much means that the attraction is still there. Chances are this is all in your head. Do Not Freeze Out! There not designed for this and that's the complete opposite of how you're supposed to use them.

    I think that you're already assuming she's going to reject you and that's throwing you off. It's not her that's changed, it's you. Just tell her the truth, but don't treat it like a big deal. If you make it a big deal then you know she will too.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  9. #9
    FunDanceMan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    Update:

    She's cool with it all. Everything was set. But her car isn't working and now she has to get a new one. She said something like it could take 3 months. So I cant visit her in 3 months.


    3 months is a long time to keep the attraction going. I dont know how this will work out. She's really gorgeous to me and I really do want to meet her. Any ideas or suggestions? How do you keep this going for 4 months?

  10. #10
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Code Red: She wants to fly me out, but caught lying!

    Well seeing as it's such long distance is it really worth carrying on? You'd never get to see each other unless one of you moved.

    I have kept a girl interested for 6 months before, then met her and discovered I didn't like her haha. There's nothing special about keeping the attraction longer, you just carry on going as you are, maybe text less often like a few times a week.

    My advice, find a way to see her sooner or just keep her on the back burner.


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