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Thread: Missing pieces

  1. #1
    jVan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Missing pieces

    So, the community has great stuff to offer for approach/seduction, and 1 or 2 good products for keeping a GF.

    What seems to be sorely missing is early relationship building and damage control. I'm certain most guys who practice at all get plenty of day 2s, but SOMEHOW 2nd and 3rd dates are fairly scarce. I've gone out with at least 20 women in past year, and only 4 went past the first date!!! What's so frustrating is I usually have no idea why! She'll just go dark on texts and calls...which I don't need to say is the most irritating thing...and they all seem to love doing it.

    I get that it all boils down not just to things going smoothly, but building enough sexual tension and intrigue that she just has to see you again....push/pull, tease, banter, etc. I'm not bad at comfort building and geting sexual quickly. I'm very sexually confident, I'm decent looking and even have a good job for Christ's sake! lol By all rights I should have no problems, but it seems like the ones I like I don't see again, and the ones I'm not all that into I sleep with right away.

    I think women have so many options these days with internet dating etc. that they have trouble making any choices at all, and will drop a guy cold over the littlest thing. It would make sense if they did want you to succeed (as coaches profess) but all evidents points to the contrary. They're looking out for a reason to disqualify you like hawks. Thats plainly obvious.

    There's certainly a correlation between extent of sexual progress and probability of seeing her again, but its non-linear. If you have sex on date 1, your very likely to see her again. But if you have a heavy makeout session, it seems like your less likely to see her again than if you only kiss once to say goodnight. So I just try for sex everytime now. But that's not how most dates end up, and anyone who says otherwise, I have al lot of trouble believing. Maybe guys in New York can plan the perfect ways to wind up at your place, but even though this is standard advice, most people don't live close enough to dating locals to work that angle. So if she's not down to do it in a car or go home with you to "watch a movie", your sh1t out of luck.
    ...maybe that was a slight tangent, my bad.

    So, what I'm looking for is effective ways to ensure a continuing relationship during and after day 2, and any ways especially ways to get her attention back after a good but maybe not spectacular 1st date. In short date 1 damage control.

    Thanks for indulging my ranting and raving!

    and for any sage advice you can give or recommended materials that may cover this subject I'm not aware of.
    (the only one I'm familiar with is "Girlfriend Training" by Xuma).

  2. #2
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Missing pieces

    Building comfort and whatnot is all in my opinion demonstrating higher value and building rapport. You also aren't mentioning body language which is a key element in the face to face time on both sides I need rundowns on that to say if that is a possible sticking point. Body language can take the perfect lines and perfect execution of everything else and throw it right out the window.

    As for the texting and messaging use short, clear and witty remarks. Do not use many messages, use one or two to convey the point you want to meet up and have a good time. Use statements if need be like "going to x place at x time meet me there" take control if she doesn't respond then move on dont keep up with messages that makes you appear needy if she can't but would have she will respond can't make it but I am free on ... Day. Also appear to be busy if asked what you are doing nothing is the worst answer.

  3. #3
    jVan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Missing pieces

    Thanks for the assist! Body Language isn't something I've worked on much so dont really know Hoe to describe...I'd say it ok not great. It normal mostly but I have a good 'sly sexy let's fuck grin' I put on now and then...I just picture her naked then.

    Posture I'd say good standing: straight chest out shoulders back. But can be poor when sitting depend on the Furniture. I slouch forward in a booth sometimes. Stools I recline casually which I think is fine....

  4. #4
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Missing pieces

    Reclining in stool takes you away from her and gives you distance which shows disinterest or possible defensive vibe, look at my ask experts tred building myself before I enter the game I had a few good links sent to me on that tred dealing with body language. Additionally to working on your own her body language can help you tune in better to adjust your game on her tremendously.

    Happy hunting


    http://www.puaforums.com/how-flirt/1...ge-basics.html


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