I'm in a bit of a pickle and would appreciate some advice!

So here's the dealio -

This girl I've known for quite a while started giving me some really positive signs (Curling hair, gazing into my eyes, smiling and laughing a lot, Stealing my interests in conversations, keeping the conversation flowing naturally, mimicking my body language, leaning in). What was really odd for me was that I felt a real connection with her - I couldn`t stop thinking about her after that, hell I couldn`t even sleep that night.

The next time we met was at the same event, but this time it was really awkward - slow and lifeless. Our conversation was more like me asking a set of questions and getting short responses. This time she actually moved away from me as if she was pushing me away.

I ended up noticing she was online (facebook) and decided to be upfront with her about my feelings. I messaged her, "Hi___ I really like you and would love to learn more about you. Are you interested in hanging out sometime this week?"

She replies with, "Hey ____.. im flattered but I think that would make things kind of weird since were almost family :s its nice talking with you though!"

That's the kicker - she's my step niece in law (no blood relation) and we know each other through family diners at my older sister's place. My older sister married her uncle, who was her only male role model.

I ended up doing some research (vin di carlo pandora's box) and learned that her personality type was NDR.

We've messaged back and forth a few times after that, but I'm still really unsure of whether she likes me or if she's just being friendly.

Why the hot cold treatment?

I am very interested in having a long term relationship with this girl, but she goes to a different college.

I feel like the crux of all this would be meeting her away from the rest of our family, but I'm not sure how to do that. I don't want to stalk her - that's just creepy.

Is there anything I can do to overcome these obstacles?

How can I attract her - if it's time that she needs I'm happy to wait for years before the relationship flourishes, but I'm not interested in being friend zoned. So far I can tell I'm not there because our conversations are pretty light - she really doesn't divulge much about herself.

What can I do to show her that I am a motivated, passionate, creative, loyal, funny and intelligent person?

Some extra information: My personality type is INTJ (Myers Briggs) and my symbol - what I aspire to be - the animal I would choose to be if given the opportunity - is the wolf by first nation definition.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!

And thank you for your advice, thoughts and suggestions.