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Thread: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

  1. #1
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    Okay so a little back story.

    I was down in texas and my bro had to work at four and I couldn't be in his house while he was working for reasons I won't get into because they're completely unrelated to me. A different friend, his name is aaron, was supposed to pick me up an hour later.

    So I get dropped off at the mall and the first place I go is to a place that sells luggage because the handle on mine got stuck up and I had to pay an additional 50 dollars to check an my bag as "oversized luggage" (bullshit). And there were two girls working there. I got to talking to the one and she was actually super cool. Talked to her for probably an hour before she gets a work related call and asks me to come back in about an hour which I did.

    When I got back I started talking to her again and this is pretty much how this went
    Her- yeah I've actually been dating this guy for about a week.
    Me- but your going to break up with him
    Her- well its moving way too fast.

    So I didn't even bother to run boyfriend destroyer and if I'm being completely honest I wasn't running game on her at all. I actually got along with her really well and my flight left about ten hours from that point anyways. This was about the time that my ride called and cancelled. Now this really sucked because the mall closed at nine and my bro wasn't done with work until eleven and the mall closed at nine. So I started talking to this girl again.
    Her- ohh do you need a ride? I could totally give you one when I'm done at eight.
    Me- well even if I get a ride I'll have to sit in his driveway for a few hours.
    Her- so your saying you want to chill?
    Me- it'd be awesome if you could show me around.

    So I waited around until she was done and we left. She took me on a little tou and brought me back to her apartment. As we were walking up the stairs I pulled on the back of her skirt a little and said
    Me- I'm looking at your ass btw
    Her- why do you think I walked up the stairs before you?
    Me- so I didn't have to stop every flight and ask if we were on the right floor yet..

    Anyways we went in and she changed while I talked to her roommate before we left. We then went out to eat and she stole me the table marker thing lol. Then we drove around aimlessly and I pointed out all the bars that I got thrown out of the night before and at some point I said this.

    Me- you know I could get you to break up with your boyfriend so I could have my fun with you for the night but I'm not going to.
    Her- thank you
    Me- I'm not even joking sweetheart
    Her- I never denied it.

    Now earlier she had mentioned that she wouldn't cheat and part of the reason I didn't want her to break up with him it's because I wanted to see if she would cheat because I was considering dating her because I might be moving to that area. So then we went to my friends house and met up with him and when we we're waiting outside for him I gave her my jacket. Then we went to a bar and I thought her how to play pool. She kept standing right where I needed to stand to shoot so half my shots were taken with my arms around her. Around two we left and went back to my friends and I had a couple drinks but she didn't because she had to wdrive back to hers. Now after a few shots I was a little drunk and came on a little strong so she asked me to stop, I apologized and she said she expected it and it was cool. After about an hour she had to go so I walked her out and kissed her. She was telling me I had to keep in touch and she was talking about visiting because she used to live where I live now. I texted her "drive safe doll" and she replied " home safe, thanks for an awesome night!"
    Then I took mflight and texted her when I got home. Texted her a couple times More throughout that day and never got a reply. Haven't heard from her since I got home. I deleted her number because I don't keep numbers in my phone that I don't use, plus I have her on fb anyways. I should just move on like I do with most but I'm having a hard time with this one. Any input would be great.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  2. #2
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    eh, she is on facebook, move on she will reopen you eventually

    getting "over" her though. I have been trying for months to get over my oneitis and no matter how many other women I meet or spend time with I still miss and want her. It is more about learning to keep the thoughts fleeting and the memories distant than anything.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  3. #3
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    Yeah that's what I figured. I tend to get oneitis for any girl I don't game aha. Just really stuck on this one.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  4. #4
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    Ouch, to be fair getting over her is all about what blister said, try not to think about her and don't mope about. You know how my situation with this sorta thing was, I feel I'm only really properly getting over her now that Iv met someone else that I actually like and would consider dating. Sleeping with girls doesn't get you over a girl.......forging a connection with someone does.

    Linking x

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    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    Apologies.....bliste x ......I hate autocorrect

    Linking x

  6. #6
    newbierio is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    "Then I took mflight and texted her when I got home. Texted her a couple times More throughout that day and never got a reply. Haven't heard from her since I got home. I deleted her number because I don't keep numbers in my phone that I don't use, plus I have her on fb anyways. I should just move on like I do with most but I'm having a hard time with this one. Any input would be great."

    What I learned is that you text only once!

    What I learned also is that you should ALWAYS call! Text only to give a cool and short message like you did "drive safe doll" and the one she replied " home safe, thanks for an awesome night!"

    In my opinion, calling exudes confidence, as I think you have from the text.

    Maybe the problem is that you texted too much in the end. Maybe she got back to the boyfriend, was busy, etc. Give sometime and call her, maybe from another number.

    Best Regards,

    Newbie

  7. #7
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    Yeah it doesnt seem fixable. She told you that she wanted to dump the guy because he was moving too fast. Moving too fast is a relative term, so who knows what that means to her..... you havent dated or done anything and you bombarded her with text messages. I dont blame you cuz one-itis can be a bitch to get over.

    The one way that has worked for me to get over one-itis is, as people say, game other chicks as a distraction, but that doesnt get you over the girl...it only momentarily gets your mind off of her

    But to really get over the girl you are getting one-itis about I find it works best to think about why it wouldnt work with her (for instance with this girl...imagine being dating her and then when she is not with you she is driving around town with some guy she just met , driving around town looking at bars.....in other words imagine the shady stuff she is doing with you, and imagine her doing that down the line with another dude....basically pick her apart and see her negative patterns and realize you are not so special that she wouldnt do it to you...cuz I am pretty sure the guy she is with thinks he is special and she wouldnt do that to him. )

  8. #8
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    Yeah thanks guys, I actually did call her after I sent the first text so I sent for texts and called her once over three days, and yeah I do know to only text once and I usually don't text at all but again I get this way every once in a while with the girls I don't game. Either way, imma just move on. Don't have the time for it and I'm not one to mope anyways which I haven't. It was fun while it lasted and that's good enough for me.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  9. #9
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    now that im done with work ive got a little morebtime to reply.

    @uluvthed, she did later go into detail about how it was moving too fast, that being that she had already met all of his family, they were talking to her about marraige, etc. and yeah i tried that but in all honesty, she didnt do anything with me that i wouldnt want my gf to do. she let me kiss her yeah but seriously no matter how hard i tried i couldnt get her to until the very end and i didnt push it. but yeah i am a little over my oneitis, linking told me she wasnt as hot as my ex lmao worked for me
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  10. #10
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: not sure if i need to get over my oneotis or if this is fixable

    You are looking at this wrong. Give her space and time bro. Frame control is something that is vital...going after what you want and getting it. Those are all important things, but what you need to realize is that she probably feels SO guilty about what she did man.

    You said there was mutual attraction. The chemical kind. Even though she really wanted to she didn't kiss you until the very end. She probably thought that she may never get the chance again. You also have to realize that most guys havn't studied these kinds of things like we have, and when you are working on a girl the simple mindset and methodology of it is different and sets them at a disadvantage.

    I would imagine she feels really bad about it and is dealing with all kinds of other negative emotions. Guilt about the feelings for you...guilt for the kiss...guilt for leading you on...guilt for rejecting you. Give her time bro, and I mean like months.

    If the attraction that was like you said, then she will surely contact you eventually unless you show her why she shouldn't. Just have you fun and bide your time and eventually it just might happen man. I know this is a super long reply but I have a ton of insight on this.

    I walked away from a HB that totally didn't reject me. She just had a lot going on and I had feelings for her that were too much for me. It needed to happen. Now because of other events in my life I'm totally glad that I walked away from her. The timing was awful. If I had stayed in it it wouldn't have worked for us, but she really did like me just as much as I liked her, and it wasn't her fault she didn't know how to handle the situation.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple


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