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  • 1 Post By TheDuke

Thread: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

  1. #1
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    Default GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    Ive started a few threads asking for advice with the girl I'm talking to so I don't want to go deep into our story but I will give some examples of what she did.

    She had me over for dinner with her family. Eventually, we moved over to the living room from the kitchen and we were just talking about random stuff. There was a few times though when she was almost bragging.*

    Ex.*
    A). She told me about a bunch of guys who saw her on the dating site and added her on FB (which is the same way we met). She goes on about how creepy this one guy was that added her and showed me their convo and everything.

    B). She bragged about how all the ladies at her church are always trying hook her up with their sons.

    C). She showed me this reggaeton music video that she was in - she is Hispanic btw - where she was wearing a super short skimpy dress.

    D). She showed me sexy pictures of a tattoo she has (lower right side of her stomach. She had to lower her underwear just to take the picture if that gives you an idea). It was actually borderline inappropriate considering we are both devout in our faith. The tattoo is actually religious - she just wanted to get it somewhere where she could keep it hidden from her parents. (I know, sounds like trouble right?)

    Note: also when previously discussing our online dating ventures, she told me that she wasn't actually "looking" - she was just on there for the fun of it. This is possible I suppose but I'm thinking either she's just playing hard to get or again is trying to position herself to look higher in value.

    What do you think? Signs of attraction? Or maybe she was just hinting that she's out of my league?

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    Girls do this all the time.

    In my experience and past experiences, She is trying to make you jealous because she ALWAYS gets attention from other guys. These guys come up to her, tell her she is hot, bla bla bla. She may not be trying to necessarily make you flat out jealous, but she wants that attention from you. Best way to put it is that she wants a “reaction” out of you.

    EX) Girl on facebook is hot. Clearly. Big deal. But she is ALWAYS putting up photos of herself. Then you look at the photo and what do you see? 21 likes, 7 comments (all comments say something about her looking good, all by guys). Sound familiar?

    Think of it like this. Why does she need to tell you all this stuff? She really doesn’t. But she wants to. She wants to get that reaction from you. But, of those X amount of guys that “liked” the photo, or the guys who commented “wow looking good”, or those guys who are adding her on FB, you are there with her in the meantime. I just hope you aren’t one of those guys that also do the same thing. Because guess what? That makes you just like the rest. She is trying to control your situation by making you react to it.

    Comment a girl when she DESERVES it. She looks good, she knows it. But what has she done for you or to you that she deserves an actual compliment? Compliments don’t come to guys that easy, and it shouldn’t for girls.

    I dated a girl that was a “model” for car shows. We hung out a bunch of times, went on a bunch of dates, etc etc. She would tell me EVERYTIME she was going to call her agency to see what shows are coming up. Great. I don’t care that you have to call your agency. I just care about what you are to me, a prospect.

    She would tell me also about the guys on FB, her ex bf, blah blah blah. I never entertained the idea or discussion. I just ignored it politely. I didn’t come off as jealous, I didn’t come off as mad. I just listened, and said, “that’s cool.” I showed her it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care that a guy “poked” you on facebook.

    Long story short, she continuously would tell me about this guy and that guy, send me provocative photos (that I KNOW she had on her phone prior to that). She also tried ONLINE dating and told me she did it for “fun” and not “looking”. That translates directly to, “I don’t want to fully admit I am online trying to find someone because I feel like you will down on me for that, and I am doing it for fun because it might fail on me and I can look back and say I only did it for the fun of it.”

    I just got flat out annoyed by her need for attention. “I need to lose weight… I look fat…” So on and so forth. It wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to cater to an immature minded girl who wanted my attention to make her feel good about herself. If she craved my attention because it made her feel beautiful inside, that’s different. But she craved it because she wanted control of the situation. She wanted to control how I felt.

    I broke it off. Told her one night after not talking to her for a week, calls me drunk, tells me she heard a Katy Perry song and it reminded her of me. I told her, “Oh that’s cool, I’m actually heading into a bar right now, so I gotta go.”
    Texted me all night trying to set up a hang out. Just didn’t care too much.

    So, my advice, be weary of this girl. She may not be something you want to tolerate for more than a month or a few dates.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    IMO this is just her qualifying to you, which means she is interested. Based on all the information you have given us regarding this girl, I don't have a doubt that she is interested in you.

    The only thing about it is that this isn't the type of qualifying you really want to encourage, so I would just ignore these types of things and not play into them. If she wants to show you some stupid online dating conversation, just brush her off by saying, "Nah, maybe some other time."

    But I don't have any doubt that these are in fact IOIs. Just be careful though, because she's trying to manipulate you with them. She's saying, "Hey, look at me! All these other guys are into me, you should be swooning over me!" Don't fall prey to that bullshit. If you start giving her the same attention that other guys give her, she'll close the door in your face.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    Thanks guys. You've confirmed my suspicions. That was actually the second time she mentioned the ladies at her church trying to hook her up - she mentioned it in a text convo - I was thinking to myself "haven't I heard this story before?" lol. I just brushed it off and said "haha, that's funny."

    Well, I do like her so I'll see how it goes. When girls in the past used to do that stuff to me I would get upset about it but I've learned that that is the worst thing to do. I just acted like it didn't bother me this time.

    Next time she brings up another guy, I will be like "great, I like competition" or something in a fun way just so she knows it doesn't phase me.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    No, don't say "great, I like competition." This shows that it phases you. Just brush it aside like you could give two shits what she's saying. By making a statement like, "great, I like competition," you are sending two signals. First, you're stating that it has phased you. Why is this guy competition? If you were confident in yourself, there would be no competition because you just wouldn't give a fuck. Second, it's stating--OUTRIGHT--that you're going to chase her and compete with other guys for her. If you want her to be attracted to you, you have to create a chase frame. Make her chase you, not the other way around.

    The things she is saying and doing to you right now are the female equivalent of PUA. She's setting up chase frames, attempting to create jealousy, demonstrating high value, and showing you she has alternatives. IGNORE this shit! That's the only solution.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    Thanks Duke! I'll definitely take the advice.

    One thing I refrain from doing is telling a girl how beautiful she is. No.1 mostly because I'm pretty reserved and no.2 every other guy is probably telling her the same thing (I mean, she really is beautiful. An 8/10 or more).

    On what occasions should I compliment her? At what point has she "earned" it?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    There's really no set rules for when you compliment a girl. For instance, a guy who goes direct is going to compliment a woman the very first time he sees her. If you subscribe to the Mystery Method, you're not going to compliment a girl until A3 at the earliest. If you're dating a girl, then you should compliment them regularly, whenever they do something positive. For instance, if a girl dresses up to go out with you, pay her a compliment. That's a positive behavior that you definitely want to encourage in the long run.

    I don't want to make any hard and fast statement on when to compliment a girl because it really does depend on the girl, your own style, the situation, etc. Too many variables.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  8. #8
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    Gotcha. Sorry for all the questions.

    Also, neither of us have made our intentions clear. Like I said, I'm pretty reserved so I've kept flirting down to a minimum - I do flirt but in ways that can mistakenly be interpreted as a friendly flirting as opposed to romantic. Im not into the sexual innuendos or any of that yet.

    If things go well when she gets home from Texas, I'm going to ask her if she want to see a movie with me and maybe catch some food. Of course most would look at this as a date but I never actually say the word "date" so to her it could be interpreted has a friendly get together (God forbid).

    What are some ways I can't hint at it being a date? Maybe say "make sure you aren't looking like a hood rat " --or-- "Be on your best behavior and try to keep your hands to yourself "

    Maybe those are too cheesy? If we do go out, Im planning some light kino. Maybe putting my arm around her at the theatre or putting my hand on her lower back as we walk into the restaraunt. I just would like for her to understand the possibilities before we actually go out. If she thinks it's strictly a friend date from the get go, my touching her may creep her out.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    I don't know what to tell you on this man. I don't know how strict you are about religion and I don't know where you want this relationship to go. As a general rule, there is nothing wrong with letting the girl know it's a date. In fact, she should know it's a date, because if she doesn't know then she will mistake your intentions. Also, generally I say that you don't want to go on a movie as a first date because it's hard to converse and it's difficult to escalate kino in a theatre IMO.

    Can't really help you more than that, sorry.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  10. #10
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    Default Re: GIRL BRAGGING - Sign of attraction or not?

    Well, the actual first date was supposed to be sushi last week but she cancelled and invited me over for dinner with the family instead. Of course, I never said date though - I just said "go out for some..." or "do you want to do something...". She has been very receptive so far though. Maybe I should make it clear this time that it's a date like you said.

    To me, I always figured that it was known to women that if a man asks you "out" or "to do something" that dating was his intention. Women, however, you can never tell. Sometimes they will accept out of kindness or because they see you as a good friend. It's just like talking in general -- whether text or phone -- most men don't waste thier time chatting it up with "friend". Women, on the other hand will talk just to talk. That's what I hate about dating. Women never make their intentions clear until they feel they have to. I was talking to a girl for a month or two before she told me she "doesn't want a bf right now" - I quit talking to her altogether.

    As far as my faith goes, I'm willing to escalate to kissing if all goes well but my guess is that she will want to take things slow. I don't want to move too fast and make her feel like I'm trying to f-close or something. (those aren't my intentions anyway). I would like to date her for now however and see where things go.

    As for the movie thing, she mentioned Sunday something about a movie that she wants to see but the show time had already passed. So my guess is she will be receptive to a movie date and not see it as boring - on the other hand though, is why I'm pairing it with dinner so that we can talk more. There's not much kino you can do from across the table though. Next time, I will invite her somewhere fun like bowling or a fiends house to chill that way the atmosphere isnt working against me when I do start to touch her. I couldn't do much at her parents, lol.


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