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Thread: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

  1. #1
    jakob1344 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Background:

    There's a girl that I'm interested in and she's my sister's best friend. From intelligence gathering, she's never had a bf and an innocent type of girl. She's one of shy ones but once you get to know her, she's quirky, like Zooey Deschanel. I have talked to my sister about it and she's given me the go ahead.

    Situation:

    *All of this has happened in the span of a week*

    I added her on fb and asked her if she could help me plan for my sister's birthday. I've managed to get her number (I said I didn't want my sister to see this on fb so could we move to texts) and we've brainstormed together a few times.

    Had around three 2 hour convos (30-40 texts) but we've mainly only talked about party stuff. I've done some light ribbing and used some of GunsnGlory's texting techniques (future projection,etc) to show interest. I may not be reading it right but her recent texts have had a lot more haha's, and generally more playful so I'm assuming I've built comfort and maybe some attraction?

    I have managed to set up a coffee date tomorrow morning to "hammer out the details of the party". The coffee store will be in a book store that's located in a mall.

    The dilemma here is I'm not sure how to transition this into showing interest in her. I'm thinking I should do some kino and try to direct the convo to other subjects once we're done with the party stuff. Maybe walk around the bookstore and then say I have to run some errands around the mall and have her to come along.


    I don't want to come on too strong and scare her out but want to show that I'm interested.
    What do you guys think of this and do you have any ideas on how to transition and escalate? Or am I digging myself into the friendzone hole?

  2. #2
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Just wait till after the party and text her casually after that's all finished with and escalate from there.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  3. #3
    jakob1344 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    I was mainly looking for what to do tomorrow. Should I be escalating/flirting?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Always escalate and flirt when possible. That's a given. Use this opportunity wisely because you don't want to get friend zone. Don't take it the wrong way and try to make out with her. At the very least your goal should be to do little things like high fives, touch her when laughing or making a point, etc. Also, make sure to give her a hug when all is said and done.

    I would talk about the party stuff in the beginning and then change topics to something else after like 15 minutes of talking. You honestly don't need that much time to talk about the party so try to keep it to a minimum. Start complimenting her too and such. Like you didn't know she had such phenomenal eyes or whatever comes to your head.

    Don't sit across from her at the coffee table. Sit either next to her or perpendicular to her.

    If you forget everything I just said, remember this one thing. Be yourself. Go out and have a good time. Say jokes that you think are funny and laugh. Good luck!!

  5. #5
    jakob1344 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilsting View Post
    Always escalate and flirt when possible. That's a given. Use this opportunity wisely because you don't want to get friend zone. Don't take it the wrong way and try to make out with her. At the very least your goal should be to do little things like high fives, touch her when laughing or making a point, etc. Also, make sure to give her a hug when all is said and done.

    I would talk about the party stuff in the beginning and then change topics to something else after like 15 minutes of talking. You honestly don't need that much time to talk about the party so try to keep it to a minimum. Start complimenting her too and such. Like you didn't know she had such phenomenal eyes or whatever comes to your head.

    Don't sit across from her at the coffee table. Sit either next to her or perpendicular to her.

    If you forget everything I just said, remember this one thing. Be yourself. Go out and have a good time. Say jokes that you think are funny and laugh. Good luck!!
    Thanks for the advice lilsting. It's a themed party so we spent a lot talking about it but it is a common interest. We did talk about other things like interests and went into some weird topics like hybrid animals and 50 shades of grey. I didn't do any deep dives but the conversation flowed well. Oddly, I don't remember a lot of what we talked about.

    I sat beside her, did some incidental kino and ended it with a hug. She was giving some IOI's (good body language, laughing, lots of fidgeting) but she is a shy girl so I didn't read too much into it.

    The party's in 3 weeks so should I invite her out again before the party?

    P.S. Any nicknames for someone who makes typos during texts?

  6. #6
    jakob1344 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Any suggestions and/or advice?

  7. #7
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    You're moving into the friendzone... You're building comfort without any attraction. You need to flirt, throw innuendo's into the conversation; which should be easy in a convo about party planning...

    It would have been better to avoid going down the party planning route as it suggests that's the only reason you want to talk to her. I would suggest being a little more direct. Besides, if you've told your sister you like her she probably already knows. Women tell each other everything!!

  8. #8
    jakob1344 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by sidewinder89 View Post
    You're moving into the friendzone... You're building comfort without any attraction. You need to flirt, throw innuendo's into the conversation; which should be easy in a convo about party planning...

    It would have been better to avoid going down the party planning route as it suggests that's the only reason you want to talk to her. I would suggest being a little more direct. Besides, if you've told your sister you like her she probably already knows. Women tell each other everything!!
    Yeah, I want to get this party out of the way and see if we can connect without that as the common subject. I'm going to try to tie if all off this week and then invite her out for frisbee (she just started and I could teach her with lots of kino) and then some ice cream after. I just don't want to come on too strong as she is the shy type so should I focus more on kino, compliments rather than innuendos?

  9. #9
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Just like what the poster above me said: You told your sister about her, her sister will most likely tell the girl your interest... I mean they're best friends. It's a given.

    If she's going out with you to meet up with this information than she has no objections. This girl is for the taking.

    In my book you have done the right thing in a sense and that is making the interaction personal between you two. The next step is to make the interaction sexual. Failing this will shoot you into that dreaded place called the Friend Zone.

    You're worried about her being shy in the sense that anything that over the top in a sexual sense will scare her off. That's not the attitude you want. You want to be unapologetic about everything you do from the way you touch her to the confidence you have.

    The thing about girls whether they are shy or confident is that they want to feel sexy and they want validation from men. The best way to do is to get her to invest and reward her with either relating what she said to your own life or make her feel her sexy.

    You're planning to do a party, you already have something that you can reward her in... her sense of style or the way she can organise a party. Here's a simple example of how you can escalate the interaction.

    You're discussing the party and she comes up with a great idea and you like the idea (you should have your own opinions, don't be a kiss up, if you don't like the idea you should disqualify yourself, just be honest) this is a simple SOI reward: "wow, not only are you sexy but that was really creative, Its refreshing finding someone with good creativity".

    On the flip side, if she does something silly or makes up something dumb you can easily tease her. Teasing and flirting will create attraction and it should be done playfully and quite frequently. You can tease her about her shyness, the fact she's best friends with your sister. There's about a million things.

    At the party you can lead her into isolation and take the relationship to kissing and maybe even sex if she's willing. Simple way to do this is to say you want to talk to her alone, take her hand and get talking and bomb in an SOI for the kiss. "It was awesome in the way WE made this party happen, I mean I'm having a fun time and you're such an awesome person that I'm seriously thinking about kissing you right now" If she says no don't react bitter. Keep it playful and that it is no big deal. Tease her on the shyness again.

    This should be easy as cake but don't go in with an agenda, just live in the moment and go with the flow. I would wish you luck but luck is for losers and no one on this forum should be a loser :P

    P.S. That 50 shades of grey could have easily made the interaction sexual because the whole book is about sex. It's a great way to escalate the interaction.
    I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.

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  10. #10
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    Default Re: Need advice ASAP - How to escalate for sister's best friend?

    Take the nice guy voice inside and beat him into submission, also in your mind take out the part of being your sister's friend it isn't part of the equation and that is likely making you play too safe.

    All is fair love in war
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