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  • 1 Post By daltonbrayall
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  • 1 Post By RhinoDownUnder

Thread: Confused about a Rejection

  1. #1
    RhinoDownUnder is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Confused about a Rejection

    I just spent the whole weekend chasing a girl who I thought was keen to hookup but got rejected in the end. I've always had some natural talent at picking up girls but never knew how deep the rabbit hole was. I made a multitude of mistakes on this girl and I think my story is a good one to help learn or point out some obvious mistakes I made and I hope someone can help point out the none obvious and give tips for the next time to better my approach strategies.
    The girl just moved in with one of my best mates and currently has long distance relationship with a fella that calls her every night with jealous accusations and is generally not going well between them.
    We met up on Friday night, got drunk and went out camping and fishing all night with 4 people. 3 guys. At first she paid no interest to me and I gave her very little attention too. When we finally had some alone time next to the fire, we got on like a house on fire and she was fully attentive and made almost constant eye contact and constant smiles and laughs.
    It was a big night and we ended back up at their house in the morning and spent the day vegeing out and me sneaking off with her to her room to smoke joints throughout the day. We continued to get on well and were flirting a lot. I caught many signals from her. Come Saturday night, we're all chilling out watching movies half passed out. When she gets up to go to her room she stops, looks at me, and waves with a big smile. Normally I would have jumped at this sign but as exhausted as we were I simply smiled back and fell asleep.
    Sunday morning the girl and I went shopping to get breakfast together. Things still seemed great between us as we cooked breakfast together even though I had diced an obvious offer the night before. The flirtations continued as they had. She went to work in the early afternoon and I went home and cleaned up and came back to hang out with my mate the rest of the day.
    That night my mate had a date to go to at 6:30, and his housemate got home at around 6:15. I was in the room with her having a smoke when my mate comes in and says he's leaving. At that moment I noticed a slightly alarming look on her face and she asked if I was going to. I said I'd stay if she didn't mind but was halfway out the door to move my car for him before she got to answer.
    I go back inside after my mate's left and the girl seems to be a little on edge at me still being there. So we go out the front balcony with her laptop and a beer and keep talking for a short while before she asks me if I was alright to drive home. I respond by asking her if she wanted me to go and she answers "well that would be rude to say." At this point I'm outta of time and have missed ample opportunity to kiss her so ask her if I can kiss her then. She replies "you can, but I'd slap you in the face." (I do realize now that both of those questions I asked were probably a Huge no no)
    I get up and grab my things and as I'm leaving I tell her thanks for the weed, next time I'll shout the smoke. She runs up to me and gives me a massive hug without saying anything and I left.
    Now I'm confused.. I didn't show her any sign of being affected at all by the rejection even though it hurt. I don't know if I should have another go next weekend or if I've been already categorized as the dreaded "friends only" for failing to take the initiative on her earlier offers. I certainly won't call her this week for fear she may take this as a sign of desperation(I'm not, I just liked her a lot).
    I won't get hung up on her at all if there's no chance left anymore for us to hook up. I don't know now though cause I took the rejection as a hard rejection at first but when she rushed to me to hug me as I was leaving I think it was more of a light rejection or something wasn't right in her head at that point in time or I failed to make a move quickly enough or if the lame ass question "can i kiss you" ruined it all.
    I'm unsure at this point to call her in a week or two or leave things be. I will surely see her again at some point no matter cause she lives with a best mate of mine. Sorry about the long winded story guys/girls and I would be highly appreciative if one of you "pro's" could shed some light on the situation and give me advice for next time I see her or end up in a similar situation.

    Peace,
    Rhino from Down-Under.

  2. #2
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    Im not too keen on girls and drugs....although we are talking about just weed here even still. Out of girls ive known that toked almost all of them had "head issues" and were not datable material. There is a very small few that smoked that Id consider normal...probably about 2 out of a dozen ive known.

    You will only ultimately know this but there is probably some quirks you can spot and really call "heads/tails" if shes one of these.

    Speculating here, but maybe she wants to still be friends cause your supplying free weed. Absolutely she'll love having you around and absolutely remain in contact with you if shes wanting to go that route...whilst pushing you away in the end.

  3. #3
    RhinoDownUnder is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    thanks for the reply, but if you had read the post properly you'd have seen she was one supplying me, not visa versa. Was't looking for a opinion on marijuana. Personally I feel alcohol and cigarettes are worse for you and your head. Especially when it's just an occasional thing. I have an environmental science degree and the girl is halfway through her degree in arts and is not a "head-case" that you automatically categorized her as. She will obviously still want to be friends at least(we got on like a house of fire)I want to know if there's a chance for more still in the making. Please post only if your truly know what your on about.

  4. #4
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    Alright, now I've only skimmed the replies to this but I did read the whole post.

    1. Its not likely that she is only keeping you in the friendzone for weed, if that were the case she wouldn't have smoked you up obviously.

    2. I don't even think you've been friendzoned if I'm being honest, I mean it might feel that way but a lot of girls don't know how to play hard to get very well and if anything id classify that as lmr even though everybody will argue that with me.

    3. The "can I kiss you" line isn't all bad, I've used it a couple times with great success, but it does put the ball in her Court giving her the opportunity to really set you back which it did.

    4. If I had to guess exactly what the reason was that you got blown out, I would have to say it was probably because she was uncomfortable when your friend left because it was only the two of you. Maybe it was because she isn't completely comfortable with you yet or it could be because she knew it would escalate to sex which she might not have been ready for. It may have been because you didn't kino her enough before hand.

    You can wonder what went wrong as long as you'd like but its best to focus on what to do next. I would recommend just playing it off and running kino escalation and just doing what you usually do. As I said, I don't think you've been friendzoned so just continue what you've been doing but kino when possible. Its the little things like that that make a huge difference
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  5. #5
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    Oh and as far as the weed goes Theres nothing wrong with girls that smoke, if anything they're less likely to have head problems cuz they're more relaxed and free spirited; at least in my experience
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  6. #6
    RhinoDownUnder is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    Thanks mate, that's exactly what I was after and you sound like you know what your on about. I agree with toking girls tend to be much more laid back and much more comfortable with themselves as a person because being stoned really breaks the barriers people tend to put up to "protect" themselves of their true nature showing. Also I'm not familiar with the kino term you mention(I'm only new to this world of pickup artists)I'm halfway through Neil Strauss' The Game. Thanks so much again. I'm going to research up this "kino" term. Cheers. .

  7. #7
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    Kino refers to kinosthetic energy or influence through touch so in other words if you hadn't touched her that much, the thought of kissing may be too much for her. And yeah man no doubt. I'm happy to help
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  8. #8
    RhinoDownUnder is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    Oh ok. Thinking back, the amount of times our bodies were touching each other was pretty minimal. There were times we were touching knees and feet for extended periods of time and she leaned completely over my body a few times to grab something but yeah I didn't do too much touching her. Not that I would grope her but yeah I think I get the principle. A hand on the shoulder or whatnot could have really made her more comfortable with me in the end. There was one moment when we were camping that I wiped some black smudge off her forehead, even used a little saliva to help clean it up. I think that went a long way with her cause she smiled big and was happy I had pointed out the marks on her face and helped her clean it up. I think I could even implement that into another pickup sometime. Something like "you got makeup smeared on you face, here let me help you with that" and "wipe the invisible smear clean for her. Lol.
    Last edited by RhinoDownUnder; 04-29-2013 at 03:55 AM. Reason: typo

  9. #9
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    First of all, I've been in your situation (based solely on the title), even though your post was too long for me to read through. I met up with a girl friday, blew it by using a stupid line,which she caught me using a line, made out with her the next day cuz I happen to run into her again, and the didn't want to got from there. She was really cute too. I was disappointed. In reality, I know she isn't the girl for me. The girl for you is going to want to be with you no matter what. Even if she rejects you now and you find her again in a few years, no matter what you'll never be alone.

    To me, pickup skills are to get the experience I need to get the girl that is out there for me. I may or may not have even met her yet, but knowing she must be out there is enough for me to learn to attract women and keep them in the long run

  10. #10
    RhinoDownUnder is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused about a Rejection

    P.S. Sharing and talking about being rejected really helps you feel better about it. Especially with some good advice.


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