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  • 1 Post By rockd
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Thread: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

  1. #1
    blaker5000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    The last few times I have gone to this one club I have seen the same HB10 there. She is always there with friends and she always gets lots of attention but she always leaves with her friends and never with any guys. A few times she has looked over at me and smiled and then looked away. So last night I bumped into her...literally! She wasn't paying attention and walked right into me. So I said "If you were really wanted to meet you could have just come over and introduced yourself". She smiled a little, we introduced ourselves and we began talking.

    Since she is a HB10 and the conversation was going well and she was laughing, I decided to neg her again so I said "You're so cute, you remind me of my little sister." She stopped laughing and kind of went cold and replied "So you're sister got the looks and the brains huh?" Ouch. It kind of threw me for a loop, but I sort of stammered a yes and tried to laugh. HB10 then said she was going to get a drink. She went to the bar and I followed. When we got to the bar we started talking again and I noticed she was tapping her (obviously fake french manicure) nails on the bar. So I tried again and asked if her nails were real and she said "About as real as your chance of getting my number after using those negs on me". I froze, she raised her eyebrows like she was waiting for me to respond, but when I didn't answer and her drink arrived she took it and went back to her friends.

    I have no idea what I should have done. I really want to get to know her more, I mean she is easily a 10 but she doesn't wear a stitch of makeup or dress slutty like the other girls, but I don't want to go be all AFC or beta, and just apologize. I want to be confident. Just talking to her was a big step for me. She is obviously witty and quick on her feet, and I am shy and not the most confident guy in the world. I am wondering how I should react or what I should say the next time I see her there. I have no idea, should I pretend it didn't happen? Ignore her or what?

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    Reading this, I have several assumptions about what happened. The first of which was that you were mechanical. You probably had some of these situations planned out, and you were completely unprepared when she caught you by surprise. Because you lacked naturality, you froze up when she exposed you, and no amount of preparing can save you for that.

    Another problem was that you doomed yourself from the beginning by placing her up as a dime. You made the stakes high, and you put pressure on yourself to do good. There is no such thing as a pure dime. Men and women will have their own tastes in attraction, so keep in mind that she is not the greatest thing in the world. For me, I do not rank women from 1-10. I rank them as sexy or not sexy. That's good enough for me, and it keeps a ton of pressure off of me as well.

    Another bad thing I noticed was that you were immediately put on the defensive with her. When you are trying to get somebody, you should always be on the offensive. When she hit you with the sister comment, you recoiled big time and didn't even do anything to throw the ball back in her court. Then, after you followed her like a puppy to the bar, and she delivered the killing blow, you could not even return score if you wanted to. If you find yourself in a situation like that, always try to put yourself back on the offensive.

    To better address this situation next time, you need to be able to flow smoothly in the conversation. Work on your conversation skills, and learn to be able to come up with stuff on the fly. Another recommendation I have for you is to research witty and come-back humor. Don't memorize anything, but keep in mind how it works and learn to come up with some on the fly. If you see her again, play off the whole night as if it was nothing. If she bombs you on it, be prepared to try and throw her on the defensive.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    ItsRaySuper is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    I would have just gave raised an eyebrow and said "a what? What the hells a Neg?" and kept playing like she's overly paranoid about a "secret society" that doesn't exist. that's all I can think of for a chick that knows not only that your a PUA. .. But has obviously done some reading to know what negs are. I'm sure there are better ways to spin this... I'd prefer to be honest with her but I'm drawing a blank on that front. Maybe the pros have some advice on how to handle a HB 10 that knows all our secrets haha.

  4. #4
    luckoftheirish54 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    Look at these things bro:

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-gi...html#post87440

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-gi...death-neg.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-gi...le-insult.html


    They've helped me. I really don't neg anymore. A little bit...but not much. I've also used the methods for the shit test...and they work. Although adapt them to your style.

  5. #5
    rockd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    I was thinking about turning it around and acting happy that she knows. Like, "Wow! Have you seen the pick up artist too? I admit I looked into it and was amazed how it let me open up to people like you. I'm just glad it gives me the opportunity to meet more people*" then you could talk about some outrageous story you did try to overcome anxiety and you went up to this one girl and she blah blah blah move on next topic.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    She warned you she is smart and that approach was just a little too textbook, a lot of negs and other tactics are way over used. Unless you are in the far reaches of the world out of the main stream you better be prepared to see girls that know what's up.

    I am sure one could be posing now and reading all these posts, definitely not out of the question.

    Direct approach and natural material help get rid of that. Also negs are not a necessity. I feel they are over used and there are much better alternatives that help everyone feel more social value in the situation.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  7. #7
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    This is why you don't NEG, learn from your mistakes and be genuine next time.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  8. #8
    blaker5000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    Wow, thank-you for all the replies everyone. To those of you who suggested that I maybe stop negging, you might be right. This is not the first time negging has gone wrong for me (Last year I was at the campus pub talking to a hot girl from some of my classes and I used "Your hair is nice. Is it a wig?" She literally started crying and ran away, he friends got cold, gave me dirty looks and chewed me out. Turns out she was in remission from cancer and bald from chemo and it was a wig. I tried my best to smooth things over but I still get dirty looks from her and her friends and others who saw/heard when they see me around campus)

    The "shut up and kiss me" line looks great, but since I barely know her I am hesitant to use that since I we have never even touched, except for when she bumped into me, and we have only spoken once. I feel like I don't have the confidence to pull it off without seeming weird/creepy. And the thing is too I am not quick on my feet like she is. Someone mentioned that maybe my approach seemed mechanical, and that is probably true. I am shy and am trying to work on my conversation skills. I'm proud of myself for even talking to her, the old shy AFC me would definitely not have done that. I did read up on comebacks, but I am afraid I will either freeze when the time comes or they will seem too mechanical. This girl is smart, and she seems to have high enough self esteem that playing games won't work on her. She could have the pick of any guy in the club so I want to stand apart from the pack. I am thinking of just trying to play it off next time I see her again and going from there.

    Thanks again for all the replies and advice. It has helped a lot.

  9. #9
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    Why the fuck are guys thinking about negging and freezing out all the time?

    You should neg when she acts badly. It's kind of punishing her behaviour. When she's having a good time with you, negging her will make you look like an asshole. You punished her good behaviour. The rest Swagman has already answered you.

  10. #10
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?

    Quote Originally Posted by blaker5000 View Post
    Wow, thank-you for all the replies everyone. To those of you who suggested that I maybe stop negging, you might be right. This is not the first time negging has gone wrong for me (Last year I was at the campus pub talking to a hot girl from some of my classes and I used "Your hair is nice. Is it a wig?" She literally started crying and ran away, he friends got cold, gave me dirty looks and chewed me out. Turns out she was in remission from cancer and bald from chemo and it was a wig. I tried my best to smooth things over but I still get dirty looks from her and her friends and others who saw/heard when they see me around campus)
    ... And this, gentlemen, is why you should not use Negs. I never use negs anymore because they do two things. One, a rehearsed neg can be caught and it makes you look phoney. Two, any neg has the hidden potential to just ruin the mood with a girl. Everywhere I have read for guides on negging, they have all said the same thing: Use it on 9's and 10's, but that is the exact problem! Who are the 9's and 10's? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, could it be possible that the label we are creating is an illusion?

    Just learn how to flirt, and stay with flirting. It's safe, and it's fun. As for everything else mentioned, it's great that you are making progress in some sort of way. Just be careful of not being too assertive, and keep working on being a natural converser. As I have learned from beach lifeguarding, the best guards just have that instinct of knowing when to watch somebody, make a call, or make a save. And that, my friend, comes with a long time of hard work and patience.

    Just keep working on it. Always strive to move upwards. Don't stay in one area too long, or you will get stagnant.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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