Re: She called me out for negging her. How to respond?
Reading this, I have several assumptions about what happened. The first of which was that you were mechanical. You probably had some of these situations planned out, and you were completely unprepared when she caught you by surprise. Because you lacked naturality, you froze up when she exposed you, and no amount of preparing can save you for that.
Another problem was that you doomed yourself from the beginning by placing her up as a dime. You made the stakes high, and you put pressure on yourself to do good. There is no such thing as a pure dime. Men and women will have their own tastes in attraction, so keep in mind that she is not the greatest thing in the world. For me, I do not rank women from 1-10. I rank them as sexy or not sexy. That's good enough for me, and it keeps a ton of pressure off of me as well.
Another bad thing I noticed was that you were immediately put on the defensive with her. When you are trying to get somebody, you should always be on the offensive. When she hit you with the sister comment, you recoiled big time and didn't even do anything to throw the ball back in her court. Then, after you followed her like a puppy to the bar, and she delivered the killing blow, you could not even return score if you wanted to. If you find yourself in a situation like that, always try to put yourself back on the offensive.
To better address this situation next time, you need to be able to flow smoothly in the conversation. Work on your conversation skills, and learn to be able to come up with stuff on the fly. Another recommendation I have for you is to research witty and come-back humor. Don't memorize anything, but keep in mind how it works and learn to come up with some on the fly. If you see her again, play off the whole night as if it was nothing. If she bombs you on it, be prepared to try and throw her on the defensive.
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X