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Thread: should I cut my girl loose

  1. #1
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Angry should I cut my girl loose

    I've been dating my girl for a few months, she complains about my smoking and other stuff.


    We had our ups and downs for a while.
    ' today she decided I have to help her with her studies tonight, I refused It was late and she had the deadline the morning after.

    she asked me how many times a week I smoke I told her the truth, she expects me to change for her.

    she told me she's not going to take her pills if I keep smoking, I got quiet and told her it was childish of her to threaten me like that, she denied the threat saying that's Just what she is going to do

    I'm at the end of my rope here should I just let her go?

    any advice

  2. #2
    ItsRaySuper is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    No offense... But why don't you cut down on the smoking? I mean... If u care about her compromise. If not... Then yeah cut her loose

  3. #3
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    I assume you're talkin about something a little more wacky than tobacky cus nobody I know tallies their cigarette consumption by the week, lol. The threat was as you said childish, that makes me think you should cut her loose. It's only been a few months, is this girl important enough to you to change for?

    If you want to cut back on smoking you have to make that decision yourself. Nobody can force you not to smoke. You will not be able to cut back/quit on another's willpower. You have to do it for you, because you feel it's the right thing to do. Smoking is addictive, at least very habitual in the case of the herb, it's ridiculous for her to think she can manipulate you into giving that up. Makes me wonder if she actually cares that you smoke or if she just wants to get power over you. And if you all had a good relationship wouldn't she have known how much you smoke already?

    From the limited info I have here, I say cut her loose bro.

  4. #4
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    By the sounds of it, this relationship is messed up already. She is threatening you with sex in an attempt to change a habit of yours. Where is the level of emotional commitment in this relationship? Is the entire relationship just based off of sex? If the relationship is based off of baseball, then you should definitely get rid of her. If not, then you need to sit down with her and talk out your problems. Just letting the water in the pot boil up more and more is just going to lead to a whole ton of problems. Actually talking about it can help the two of you reach a healthy conclusion that you both can agree on.

    And although I don't care about the smoking, I can't say the same for others. Smoking is becoming more and more unpopular from what I am seeing, and eventually you will have to make a choice about whether you want to smoke and enjoy yourself, or quit so the majority of the crowd opens back up to you.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  5. #5
    bendenherover is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    ya start to break up with her i guarantee she'll drop the whole no smoking thing and she wont care anymore she'll just wanna be with u

  6. #6
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    You cannot try changing yourself for others it just makes you resent them. If you want to quit for yourself ok but if not....don't try changing for her. That is how last relationship ended and it was bad after 3 Years of changing myself for her it wasn't good enough. So I ended up resenting her and it was a general emotional drain for me.

    Figure out what YOU want
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  7. #7
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    By the sounds of it, this relationship is messed up already. She is threatening you with sex in an attempt to change a habit of yours. Where is the level of emotional commitment in this relationship? Is the entire relationship just based off of sex? If the relationship is based off of baseball, then you should definitely get rid of her. If not, then you need to sit down with her and talk out your problems. Just letting the water in the pot boil up more and more is just going to lead to a whole ton of problems. Actually talking about it can help the two of you reach a healthy conclusion that you both can agree on.

    And although I don't care about the smoking, I can't say the same for others. Smoking is becoming more and more unpopular from what I am seeing, and eventually you will have to make a choice about whether you want to smoke and enjoy yourself, or quit so the majority of the crowd opens back up to you.
    Good post but disagree on the last paragraph, who cares what the majority thinks. The majority crucified Jesus and executed Socrates. Fuck em.

  8. #8
    rockd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    The issue is that you can pass up some really good girls who might be perfect for you, but won't give you a chance because of smoking. You need to decide if that is worth it to you to pass them up. i'm not saying you should or shouldn't though

  9. #9
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    "I'm quitting smoking because it causes lung cancer, it's expensive,and it makes me less productive"

    Versus

    "I'm quitting smoking because it might be a turn off for my hypothetical perfect girl"

    Really? Just sayin'

  10. #10
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: should I cut my girl loose

    There are many motivations out there, pick whichever one works, we could compile a whole post on reasons to quit smoking, but, I feel we are getting a little off topic here.

    The root post is how to deal with an ultimatum, weather he decides to quit or not is all on him.

    I only add if he decides to do it under his own merit not someone else telling him he has to.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.


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