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  1. #1
    HoneyBadger is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Angry need help with HB resistance

    I'm new to the forum and to pickup, so please excuse any faux pas I may commit.

    So I typed up a long post that got deleted before I could post it. Damn it. This will be abbreviated. I'm very new to any pua stuff. Done some reading, that's about it. So this super hot woman on POF messages me a while back. I'm not responsive at first because I'm busy and she doesn't seem that interesting. We talk on the phone eventually. She's lonely and seems kind of needy. A couple weeks later I get around to calling her back. At her suggestion, we make plans for me to come down to her beach condo 2.5 hours away. They fall through at the last minute. The next Monday (yesterday) we go out for drinks. (Peripheral question: do you buy a woman drinks when it's a planned date? Seems like you're a cheapskate it not. I bought the one drink she had.)

    Things go pretty well, I thought. We had to sit on opposite sides of a small four person table. She's more interesting than I had expected. I'm not great at being seductive/sexual but I do make at least one sexual joke that seems to open things up a bit. I offer her some of my beer. She says no because it makes her sleepy. I say, "Probably shouldn't then. I'd have a passed out date on my hands. I don't know where you live, so I'd have to take you home and I'm not ready for that yet. I mean, we just met," said with a grin. She laughs and says "Oh, so you're playing hard to get now." She makes a few sexual comments--that in college she almost slept with the man who had the same job as I do, that she heard guys from my part of the country have "big c***s". (is that considered foul language? I'll just censor everything) She's touching my arm by the midway point. And laughing mostly throughout with a few awkward silences. She's getting cold. (I should mention she was wearing a HOT red dress with lots of cleavage. Everyone there was looking at her.) I try to get her to go to another place but she wants to go home.
    Walking her back to the car I hold her hand with good reciprocation and put my hand around her waist a bit. We get to the car and she's resisting my getting closer a bit. She gets a bit awkward for a while and then moves in and kisses me. I probably should have just gone for it and made it happen but she was kind of keeping her distance. She wanted to kiss me but also didn't want to for whatever reason (caution maybe, she's divorced and has kids). After we kiss, she says "Ooh and you kiss good too!"

    My phone's screen had died on me earlier that day. She calls about 45 minutes later but I don't answer because I think it's probably my ex. Next day I get a new phone and start texting her. Apparently she had wanted to maybe go out for coffee last night, like we'd talked about, and say thanks for the evening. I typed out 2/3 of the text conversation and lost it so I'm not going to type it out again, but here's the gist of it. I ask her for the pictures she'd sent me on my old phone (two pretty hot ones, one mildly sexual and one where she just looked hot). She sends me a topless one! "Lol I did not send u that". Start telling her that I want to see her tonight. The previous night she had basically said she would see me today. She starts resisting and then telling me that she wants to be friends because I have to move away in a couple months and my job keeps me really busy and away a lot. I basically start saying that that's why we have to make the most of the time we have, we had a good time last night, it felt good, and we shouldn't neglect a good thing. I tell her I want to kiss her for more than 10 seconds. She says that I'm good looking and intelligent but keeps pushing the friends thing. I ask "Are you afraid of getting hurt?" "We all are" "I know. It's natural to feel that way but that's not a good reason to stay away from a good thing." More friends stuff.

    Me: "We both want more than that and theres nothing wrong with that. Lets just get together tonight and do something fun. Im not going to pressure you into anything."
    Her: "You are handsome and smart. I am a big flirt but I dont f*** until minimum of the 8th date. The last guy I dated, I did not f*** until the 4th month. I know u are not asking or wanting but the chase will be a waste"
    Me: I'm not worried about wasting time. Like I said, it is what you make of it.
    Me: Any other objections
    Her: Nothing. I'm just gonna be busy
    At this point I start chasing her, trying to get her to do something for a couple texts. She names things she'll be doing.
    Me: Suddenly she's too busy for a date
    Her: I wonder who would that be? So cruel lol
    Me: Only a woman
    ....
    Me: (her name), you're smarter than ill bet a lot of men give you credit for and I'm sure yoget lots of attention. I don't want to play games. If you're not interested, that's fine. If you are, who gives a f*** if I have to leave in a few months.
    Her: I am interested but the only field I don't play safe is investing. I still daredevil myself sometimes
    [a little banter and an lol from her, I tell her I have to go to the gym]
    Her: Have fun. I'm still in the pool.
    Her: U wanna watch iron man 3? there's a 6:30 show.
    [I should have seen this for what it was. I thought about it but decided to take the chance if she was sincere.]
    Me: Hmm, ill miss my workout
    Me: Sure, why not
    [a little delay then some logistics]
    Her: U know what, no. I promise the guy I just met that I will wait for him until he gets back in 3 weeks. [she had referenced someone or other the night before]
    Her: I just met him. I feel bad. I'm naive at this sh** ugh
    Me: (her name), come on now
    Me: you just went out with me last night. I'm going to the gym.
    Her: Ok

    So that's the end of it. No more communication since then, about 3 hours ago. She's hot enough to where I don't want to just walk away from it, but I really have no idea what's going on. She likes me a lot, I think, but doesn't want to get too involved. She gets approached A LOT. I can't tell if she's just fickle or if all of this was one big sh** test. Probably some of both.

    Help! How should I proceed? What's she doing? What did I do right/wrong? If she's into me why the resistance?
    Last edited by HoneyBadger; 05-07-2013 at 08:27 PM. Reason: added a comment

  2. #2
    HoneyBadger is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with HB resistance

    Quick update: She texted me this morning. Just a short exchange before I had to go to work.
    "U are handsome"
    "I know but that you for saying so "
    Then a little more before I had to go. So that's a good sign.


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