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  • 2 Post By Autismus

Thread: Reverse Friendzone Theory

  1. #1
    Swish is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Reverse Friendzone Theory

    This sort of encompasses some texting and LDS stuff too.


    So the inspiration for this post is that Iíve been texting a girl for a while, fairly on and off. Conversations are aight, have good ones and have bad ones but she has continued to respond.


    Any way when the conversations escalate to more sexual topics she sort of tries to drop hints of me in the friendzone. For instance when the conversation gets kind of or possible sexual she gives me this whole block of text about how she would only do certain things with a boyfriend or potential boyfriend blah blah. (If I am misreading this as being put in the friendzone PLEASE PLEASE let me know).
    HOWEVER, this post isnít so much about a potential friedzone trap. (though any suggestions are welcomed)


    Here is my thought: If someone is attempting to put me in the friendzone, can I lower the relationship status as a form of disqualification and then build it up?


    For instance, if in my case say HB says something about being friends (which I understand is not something to be necessarily ashamed of and completely recoverable from) would I then suggest something that we arenít even friends but rather text buddies? Or acquaintances etc.? (the details of defining each stage are still TBD). Additionally if one were to make this move would it make it easier or more challenging to get past the friend zone level?


    Thoughts.

  2. #2
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reverse Friendzone Theory

    IMO avoiding the friendzone is easiest by avoiding the DTR (Define The Relationship) talk.

    Your idea of descalating the relationship is on the right track, but if you call her "text buddies" or "starbucks pals" or "that chick I see at gardening club" or whatever then that defines the relationship and actually get you deeper into the FZ.

    A buddy of mine descalates the relationship really well with a light neg, and that usually works to build attraction

    PUA: "Watch your step, there's a puddle."
    HB: "Aww, you're such a nice friend"
    PUA: "Whoa, easy there clingy" *cheecky smile* "I don't know if I'd call us friends yet"

    ...usually that will bait her into asking what defines a friend. You then have control of the frame, you can tell her what exactly is and is not within the parameters of friendship (*spoiler alert, imply or lightly mention that sexuality can be part of a friendship). The Red Baron has a good post on here that mentions talking about "...friends don't limit each other with categories..." I think it's in his Frame Control or avoiding the FZ post.

    THere was something else...

    ...

    OH! Right, about your chick, when she's all like "boyfriend blah blah" when you sexualize the conversation. I think that's ASD rather than FZ, and that she's just trying to avoid seeming like a slut when talking about sexuality. Keep pushing lightly into the subject and tease her a little, if she still clams up (in the conversation - keep it classy ) then have fun joking about some of your own stories.

    Trick to sexualizing a conversation past ASD:
    -Keep it casual
    -Keep it fun
    -Get her into the mindset that sex is no big deal
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Reverse Friendzone Theory

    When you withdraw or disqualify you are agreeing to the friend zone by default I say bad idea almost worse than being friend zoned. Flip conversations like that to make her think she was the one coming on to you open-ended innuendo works best if she calls you out make sure it can be played off as something else ... You dirty minded girl shame on you, I m not that easy to win over

    Also above hits it right on the head
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  4. #4
    Swish is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Reverse Friendzone Theory

    Ah much respect too both of you

    I have considered almost everything that both of you brought up. But Autismus you're completely right with making sure to control the frame was what I was overlooking, certainly brings the whole concept together. Plus adding some other form of relationship terminology could deepen the friendzone

    I should note that I have had conversations with her that did convey some level of sexual tension nor have any of my conversations resulted in a blowout so it's not a lost cause. Which also added to a hunch that it was more ASD related. Certainly have tried role reversal and teasing and all that, not sure if the humor comes through but she doesnt seem to handle it well.

    As always thanks again


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