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  1. #1
    SOUTH_FL_PUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default I need to adopt a new mindset ...

    Hey guys.

    One thing I've stumbled across before ever even trying to get technical with pickup is that any girl that is beautiful that I have a connection with I consider their value for LTR.

    This is exhausting.

    What I want to do is just meet more and more women but for some reason I keep getting small cases of oneitis.

    I end up passing up an opportunity to meet another beautiful girl because I am still considering one as an option.

    How do I adopt the mindset of

    "Oh great another one to put in the roation"


    Instead of the mindset of


    "I hope we share some of the same morals or else she's not making the cut as great as she is."


    It seems simple but for some reason I keep mind farking myself.

    I actually got off to a great start earlier this year but I lost momentum (oneitis obv) and I don't want it to happen again because it takes work for me to get going with this stuff.

    I'm decent looking and in good shape, if I can't pull my head out of my arse it's gonna be such a big waste of a perfect opportunity for me to be successful with women more beautiful than I have ever been with.

    I really want to get the 10's but I know it's never gonna happen if I keep getting stuck on the 8.5's...
    .-* WWWEEE *-.

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I need to adopt a new mindset ...

    Haha, I was just thinking about how you guys get oneitis so easily. I just don't understand it.

    For me, I was in a relationship for the better part of a decade, and so first off, just being interested in a girl doesn't seem that special to me.

    I guess for me, to become a "oneitis" I really feel that a girl has to earn it. A kiss, a one night stand, a few dates, just isn't enough for me to get hooked on a girl. To get to this point you have to have a few different mentalities:

    1) Abundance: There's always a different and better HB out there
    2) You're the prize: She should be the one with oneitis because you're the prize. If you have oneitis it's because she's controlling the situation.
    3) Confidence: Know that you can get someone else. Fear of letting her go and not getting someone else is the biggest cause of oneitis.

    For me, a big part of it has come from disconnecting from the result. I just don't really care. If I don't get laid I don't get laid. Life goes on.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    SOUTH_FL_PUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I need to adopt a new mindset ...

    Thanks Duke appreciate the insight. That is a big difference between us though I haven't been in an exclusive relationship for about 8 years. That's partially because I was lazy and went with easy women that weren't even close to the right material.
    Either way for some reason when I connect with a girl on some level other than physical....

    this is my mind

    "What do I like about her? Is she smart on top of her beauty? What do we have in common?" etc, etc

    I know that I'm never gonna fark a 10 if I can't be more chill. I want to be that fun chill guy that's dating multiple 9+s

    I got the looks, I got the (very inconsistent) success

    Is this really all just about experience? If someone said what's going on is normal for beginners I'd feel great but I just want to make sure I'm on the right track because now I am serious about improving.

    There's really no point in putting in a lot of effort if I'm doing something fundamentally incorrect if you know what I mean.

    I can definitely work on everything you've just posted, but I'm gonna try to pick your brains more if you don't mind
    .-* WWWEEE *-.

  4. #4
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I need to adopt a new mindset ...

    I don't think it's an experience thing. I think it has more to do with the way you view human interactions and how much value you put on individual human relationships. Like I said, for me a girl has to earn a relationship with me. I'm not going to grow overly attached to every girl I meet, because you end up settling if that's how you view things.

    Try this. Sit down and write out a list of characteristics that you would want a woman who is LTR material to have. Try to be fairly specific and make sure it's stuff you care about. For this exercise to work, you have to make sure that you're not making a list of characteristics that you can just say any girl has. Once you have the list when you start having these feelings and thoughts for a girl take out your list and go through it objectively. Does the girl meet all or most of the qualities you identified as important? If she does, then you maybe want to start considering her for a LTR. If she doesn't then you know that she's just a fling and that you just want to have some fun with her.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I need to adopt a new mindset ...

    See it as this once you guys are not exclusive you can see anyone anytime.even if you are you may talk to other girls innocently.
    If you meet a girl you liked and you closed her meet a few girls if you can on that day.at least four approaches should be good.

    Another thing you should focus on is that even though you are there to have fun you want the skill too.this should motivate you.if you are talking to just one woman and she likes you, u are not harnessing the skill which is bad.in a nutshell get socializing.meet as many people as you can.if you know what i mean

  6. #6
    SOUTH_FL_PUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I need to adopt a new mindset ...

    Hey thanks guys.

    I live right by Delray Beach so I'm gonna go pull a bunch of #'s this weekend and have a near guaranteed fclose with a girl from work this weekend she is like a 7.5 but oh well just to get me going again...

    I don't want to put the cart before the horse. I know I can be somewhat successful with women right now, but I don't want to get trapped by my own out of control illogical emotions before I really put in hard work to hone my skill set.


    I just don't wanna be retarded, get good at approaching and making out with new girls quickly, and then go in retard oneitis mode with a girl that isn't even that great.

    Sometimes as soon as I get good momentum, I just shut down with 1 after I get some pretty ones

    I mean wtf. Such a waste!!!

    I want the 10's!

    Thanks Duke your posts are super solid.

    Thanks everyone else too!

    Next time I'm in the scarcity mindset (like a little bitch) I'll come back and read this.


    Seriously I want to bang a 10 this summer.
    .-* WWWEEE *-.

  7. #7
    lilsting's Avatar
    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I need to adopt a new mindset ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SOUTH_FL_PUA View Post
    Hey thanks guys.

    I live right by Delray Beach so I'm gonna go pull a bunch of #'s this weekend and have a near guaranteed fclose with a girl from work this weekend she is like a 7.5 but oh well just to get me going again...

    I don't want to put the cart before the horse. I know I can be somewhat successful with women right now, but I don't want to get trapped by my own out of control illogical emotions before I really put in hard work to hone my skill set.


    I just don't wanna be retarded, get good at approaching and making out with new girls quickly, and then go in retard oneitis mode with a girl that isn't even that great.

    Sometimes as soon as I get good momentum, I just shut down with 1 after I get some pretty ones

    I mean wtf. Such a waste!!!

    I want the 10's!

    Thanks Duke your posts are super solid.

    Thanks everyone else too!

    Next time I'm in the scarcity mindset (like a little bitch) I'll come back and read this.


    Seriously I want to bang a 10 this summer.
    Your "problem" is psychological. To keep it simple, you have your mindset on the 10. This leads you to not disconnect yourself from the outcome, which continually leads to oneitis. Like Duke said, you gotta learn to disconnect yourself from the end result. It sounds like you're putting girls on a pedestal when you should be the one they're chasing.


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