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Thread: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

  1. #11
    christina.lek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    Thank you, i still feel so bad about it psychologically...i mean, you can work it out when someone does something bad to you and get over it, but how can you work it out when YOU are the one who does the bad thing, betrays the other person and messes everything up?! You have full responsibility and cannot really excuse the yourself to move past it and the consequences it brought...

  2. #12
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    Unfortunately this may be a life-lesson that you're just gonna have to take on the chin. The only thing to do really is to learn from it and don't do it again.

    Trust and honesty are THE most important thing in a relationship and if those are shakey the whole thing crumbles. Honestly, I wouldn't take a girl back if I found out she had dinner with her ex without telling me. I've been cheated on and anyone who knows that kind of pain won't stand for the smallest hint of it...

    The advice is bang on though, you've explained it and apologised and now you just have to wait a while and see how things lie in a few weeks. The main thing here is to make sure you learn the lesson.

  3. #13
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    in the back of his mind, there's a nice paranoia voice you've created because of it, do it once, lose trust, try and repair, good luck on a stable relationship, it will never be the same

  4. #14
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    Use this experience to learn about yourself. I don't know how old you are or how much attention you get from guys but this experience is good for personal growth.

    Why did u even have dinner with the ex? Were you unsure of your new guy? Like maybe he wasn't right for you? You were kinda on the rebound. Do you still have some lingering attraction for the ex? I know most women would not do something like that for fear of getting closer to ex and possibly cheating (even if cheating is not your goal).

    And if you like the ex, maybe your guy just wasn't as exciting as the ex. Think about the qualities of both and which you feel stronger about. All this info is actually useful to learning about yourself.

    Or you could just be a player and like having multiple guys in your life LOL
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  5. #15
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    ahaha... sorry but i had to laugh on that one!!! this story is just a classic if you ask me "the girl that's in a nice loving relationship, and the ex suddenly pops up and tells you those things you love to hear" but what you failed to realize is that your ex will not be with you because you cheated and lied to your bf to go out with him, and would probably do the same thing to him if he takes you back, and now your bf don't want you anymore because you took away his peace of mind he had being with you. just a lose-lose, and poor decision making. try to learn from it and do better next time.

  6. #16
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    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    I don't want to make you feel bad but he is such an alpha.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  7. #17
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    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    I understand his feeling. Confidence is like a statue. Once the first lie is told, the statue will be shattered... or a little broken.
    However, he should also understand your reasons. I'm not saying you did good, 'cause you didn't, but it's not my job to tell you that, mainly because you already know it.

    Relationships are never black or white. Don't go after him. If you already told him why you did what you did and what happened and asked for forgiveness, you did everything you could. Time to move on and wait. He's disappointed with you, now give him space so that that anger disappears... or not, either way, you can only wait and move on.

    Best of luck!

  8. #18
    christina.lek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    Well you guys have actually helped me a lot.!!! Even the ones that have been kind of harsh at me!

    So basically we met today in college, he saw me from afar while he was leaving and he stopped and waited for me to go there...We had a small chat for work, classes etc and then our paths separated again!

    Well, we used to be in the same group of friends anyway and we said we won't make things awkward on this matter so... i assume i must fight now to save whatever hasn't been lost? A friendship? Could that ever be probable?!

  9. #19
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    Don't know, because you haven't "betrayed" him as a gf, you "betrayed" as a friend.

    All you can do is to wait. Be kind and warm, but don't supplicate. You lied, but that's past and you can't change it, so there's no point in talking about what happened.
    Try only to be kind, warm and friendly. Once in a while try to joke with him to bring positive emotions.

  10. #20
    FlowTime is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I'm a girl-how do i win his trust back?!

    This is the typical story of a Rebound imo. Doom to failure.

    The next guy you meet will have a much greater impact in your life , move on.


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