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Thread: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

  1. #1
    Forielz is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    I've asked a few people for help, but they seem to be busy and so i decided to post this here to vary between responses, and also that i really want to know what to do in this situation. Here it goes.

    I've been texting this girl from my school, and its been good she's shown interest and such, i would make her laugh a lot and i even got her to beg me to go visit her once. We known each other for some time really, but before i was really stupid and immature/annoying so we would never really talk. On this over night trip we had for school, when we were visiting places i would hold the door for her like a gentleman and she would say thank you.
    It was raining and she caught me unable to open my umbrella because it was malfunctioning (it wouldn't clip to stay open) and she said "Whats wrong, you don't know how to open an umbrella?" This was the FIRST time she has ever said anything to me in MONTHS, so i was really surprised on that and laughed it off because i did not know how to respond to that (give me your opinion on this)

    So we text, like i stated before, but the thing is though, when we see each other in school she would totally ignore me unless i say something to her. its like one of those girls where you would have a good text conversation, but when you see each other she does not seek you, she does not start conversations unless you do, etc. I really dont know what to talk about with her when i see her, (i know i have conversations with her over text) but right now its just a hi, hug, and bye when i see her. Can you help me with this ? If i could get this girl i would try my hardest to keep her in my arms. Shes always with her friends as well, i never see her without them :t.

  2. #2
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    dialogue of the texts plz +30 c // maybe shes shy when she's around you

  3. #3
    Stigward is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    To be honest it sounds like she's just shy. I know before my more out-going escapades I've had the confidence to say things over text that I'd never say in person. Unfortunately this made it really awkward for me when I saw them in person, they were almost like "so where's the guy I was texting?" But then if you are also having the trouble in making conversation when you see her it sounds like you both suffer from this.

    Do you ever see her outside of school? If not, make it happen. Go up to her in school one day, have your usual "hello" hug and what-not, then just pop it, "So we should go get coffee after school." or shopping or.. well, anything really. Maybe outside of the pressure of the social environment that school is you'll both loosen up and start talking like you do in text.
    Why become someone else when you can become a natural?

  4. #4
    Forielz is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    dialogue of the texts plz +30 c // maybe shes shy when she's around you
    The texting is rather long, and i dont want to type it out. All i can say is that she showed alot of interest, similies and such.
    And i do think its because shes shy, but at the same time i dont really know how to strike a conversation to get her to talk to me like she did over text.

  5. #5
    Stigward is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    Ok, Striking up conversation with someone you already text 101. Let's begin;

    The first approach - How do you strike up conversation via text? Like how does the conversation start? Just do that, but with your voice. This to me seems like the simplest solution for someone not very used to situations like this, which I'm guessing you are.

    The second approach - when you text do you text about a book or a game or food that you share interests in? ANYTHING that you both share an interest in, but not sex, that you text about. Just walk up to her and say something like "SO I saw this video on failblog yesterday that made me think of you. I'll send you the link later. Unless you wanna come round and I can show you?" Obviously I'm not assuming that you browse that site or that context would work, it's just a structure for you to fill the gaps in.

    The third approach - Situational topics... Walk right up to her and comment on something in your environment and use it to start a conversation. "Oh hey I saw those exact same shoes on a program yesterday.... can't remember which one it was though. Anyway, how are you?....." blah blah get into conversation and then just say "So, I only ever see you at school. How about seeing you outside of school some time? Want to go for coffee/beer/dancing lesson/taxidermy lecture.... afterward?"

    The fourth approach - Make a joke. My idea of this would be *run up to her excitedly* "Oh my god,did you see the fight that just broke out outside? There were riot police and everything, it was crazy... two guys arguing over a pack of cigarettes that got out of hand or something..... LOL joking. Got you though. So how are you?"



    The truth is it sounds like you could say anything, you just need to break the barrier between an acknowledging "hello" and fullon conversation. Or just start the conversation with "So I'm fed up of just texting you when we're not at school.... Let's go out."

    Is that any help?
    Why become someone else when you can become a natural?

  6. #6
    Forielz is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stigward View Post
    Ok, Striking up conversation with someone you already text 101. Let's begin;

    The first approach - How do you strike up conversation via text? Like how does the conversation start? Just do that, but with your voice. This to me seems like the simplest solution for someone not very used to situations like this, which I'm guessing you are.

    The second approach - when you text do you text about a book or a game or food that you share interests in? ANYTHING that you both share an interest in, but not sex, that you text about. Just walk up to her and say something like "SO I saw this video on failblog yesterday that made me think of you. I'll send you the link later. Unless you wanna come round and I can show you?" Obviously I'm not assuming that you browse that site or that context would work, it's just a structure for you to fill the gaps in.

    The third approach - Situational topics... Walk right up to her and comment on something in your environment and use it to start a conversation. "Oh hey I saw those exact same shoes on a program yesterday.... can't remember which one it was though. Anyway, how are you?....." blah blah get into conversation and then just say "So, I only ever see you at school. How about seeing you outside of school some time? Want to go for coffee/beer/dancing lesson/taxidermy lecture.... afterward?"

    The fourth approach - Make a joke. My idea of this would be *run up to her excitedly* "Oh my god,did you see the fight that just broke out outside? There were riot police and everything, it was crazy... two guys arguing over a pack of cigarettes that got out of hand or something..... LOL joking. Got you though. So how are you?"



    The truth is it sounds like you could say anything, you just need to break the barrier between an acknowledging "hello" and fullon conversation. Or just start the conversation with "So I'm fed up of just texting you when we're not at school.... Let's go out."

    Is that any help?
    Yeah this was very helpful ! Also when i text her i usually start with statements, like when we were in the overnight trip, no one was allowed to leave their dorm past 12AM and so i texted her saying "We're trapped in our dorm for night, looks like you cant sleep with me tonight" And she replied with "Lmao, guess not" And i continued it with, "I can sneak out though" she replied with "But how, you'll get caught if you go out the door" And i replied to her with "Who said i'll be going out through the door?"
    Its a long conversation, but she ended up saying "I'll be waiting" lol.
    The other times i would be like, "Its mad cold outside" when in reality it was really hot lol.
    Stuff like that, i dont know how to explain it really, but thats how i start the texts, I should start conversations in person like this? But wont it feel akward or out of place ?
    The other day i told her "Since it was so windy outside i decided to go all PSY and let my sweater press against my arms while walking home". Then that led to a conversation to where she asked me to go visit her.

  7. #7
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    Well it seems like your texts are pretty smooth,can't see anything needy or too bad,except for the fact that you're the one starting the texts.

    Find something she's wearing and comment on it,doesn't have to be a good thing,you look like you joke a lot,so do that....say hi to her in whatever way you do that and then just strike her with a "What's up with that sweater.... ?"I mean my grandma wears the same..."

    Then you can just get cocky and tell her to look at you and how you dress...Just a random thing out of my head.

    Also you can just ask her what she's been up to these days,because according to what you said,you don't talk a lot in school.Then like someone here mentioned invite her to hang out with you after school.

  8. #8
    Stigward is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    Oh my god!!! Why haven't you met her yet? When you said she seems interested I didn't realise it was so blatant. I just have to get this next bit out of my system, apologies....

    DUDE, What the fuck???

    Ok, I'm done. So, I like your dry sarcastic wit. It reminds me of... me!

    Ok, honestly, definitely approach her and start convo how you do via text. It works, sounds like you've got opening with a joke down to a tee, you just haven't realised that it goes down much better in person, but you will see. I'd stay away from anything routiney, sounds like she knows you too well for that to not seem weird. In all fairness she seems to know you, she does not know the PUA material. You are not the pua material and so using it would risk her questioning whether you're the fun funny flirtatious person she knows.

    But out of curiosity, why didn't you accept the invite?
    Why become someone else when you can become a natural?

  9. #9
    Forielz is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stigward View Post
    Oh my god!!! Why haven't you met her yet? When you said she seems interested I didn't realise it was so blatant. I just have to get this next bit out of my system, apologies....

    DUDE, What the fark???

    Ok, I'm done. So, I like your dry sarcastic wit. It reminds me of... me!

    Ok, honestly, definitely approach her and start convo how you do via text. It works, sounds like you've got opening with a joke down to a tee, you just haven't realised that it goes down much better in person, but you will see. I'd stay away from anything routiney, sounds like she knows you too well for that to not seem weird. In all fairness she seems to know you, she does not know the PUA material. You are not the pua material and so using it would risk her questioning whether you're the fun funny flirtatious person she knows.

    But out of curiosity, why didn't you accept the invite?
    Care to explain what this means ?"You've got opening with a joke down to a TEE" ? What do you mean ? Also, "dry sarcastic wit" what are you referring to :'o?
    Another thing is she never texts me first so I decided to cut the texting for a while, been about a week since I've texted her. Since we dont really talk in person it'll feel akward to text her again really. So I have to strike up the conversation in person first.
    I did not go and visit her because In all honesty I did not want to. I was exhausted from that day, It was a sunday night I think and I had been out all day, after finishing up what I had to do I did the laundry which I have to take to the laundromat to do, and then I texted her when I got home and told her the joke about PSY.

  10. #10
    Stigward is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Shows interest and attraction over text, but not in person ?

    "down to a tee" = Perfected.

    Dry sarcastic wit = your style of humor. I.e with the joke about it being cold.

    Don't panic, these are good things.

    Backing off from the texting is probably a strengthening thing to do, I have done the same and it has had good results. But yeah, it would be really good if the next contact was a conversation in person. I have every belief that you have the conversational skill to strike something up and for it to be funny. This is something a lot of guys strife for a very long time trying to master. Conversational wit is priceless in seduction (Both Sasha and Neil Strauss are or have been comedians, and just look at how they do.)

    I'm intrigued now as to see how this goes, I have this urge to know whether or not I'm right that It'll go naturally well. Will you please keep us updated on the situation via this thread?
    Why become someone else when you can become a natural?


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