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  1. #1
    BHayden is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Confused...waitress showed IOI's but says she's not interested

    There is a hot waitress at a sports bar in my neighborhood. She is always giving me IOI's (smiling and waving at me, coming over and asking me how I am, saying goodnight to me, constantly coming around to make sure my drink is full and I don't need anything etc) One night I overheard her talking with another waitress about her salsa dancing, so I decided to check out classes at the studio she dances at. Even though she is a very experienced dancer and I am new when I asked her to dance she said yes.

    After the class was over, given that she had shown me so many IOI's, and that we had some level of comfort and rapport I asked her to join me for a coffee date. She answered "Thank-you, I'm flattered, however I'm not interested going on a date or having a romantic relationship with you". I'm so confused. This girl has given me more IOI's than any other girl I have ever met, and yet she says she's not interested. I don't understand why her behavior indicated one thing, but her words another. I'm thinking maybe I just put her on the sport since I asked right when class was over and we were heading out. It's the only explanation I have. Why else would she ALWAYS be smiling at me, checking on my table and agreeing to dance with me?

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused...waitress showed IOI's but says she's not interested

    Was she giving you IOIs or was she doing her job? That's probably where your confusion lies.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused...waitress showed IOI's but says she's not interested

    Duke said it all.

    She's a waitress, so it's her job to sell drinks. Moreover, the more kind she is to clients, the more drinks they'll buy. See the point? She was just doing her job.

  4. #4
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Confused...waitress showed IOI's but says she's not interested

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuke View Post
    Was she giving you IOIs or was she doing her job? That's probably where your confusion lies.
    for me its either Duke's reply or the below bolded text or both, unlikely, but she could be suggesting she just doesnt want a relationship but wouldnt mind a casual sexy time

    Quote Originally Posted by BHayden View Post
    , I'm flattered, however I'm not interested going on a date or having a romantic relationship with you".

  5. #5
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused...waitress showed IOI's but says she's not interested

    Quote Originally Posted by cesar3003 View Post
    for me its either Duke's reply or the below bolded text or both, unlikely, but she could be suggesting she just doesnt want a relationship but wouldnt mind a casual sexy time
    Could be but he needs to play his cards as such so she knows "nothing is attached" to a said FWB experience.

    Thats why i dont mess with waitresses unless its aside from their "scene". You know your on her turf, shes putting on a face to get extra tips, for you to buy things, whatever it takes.....ive had girls do this all the time and AFC's always think theres something more behind their smile and professional flirty behavior(they wont go past a certain point).

    Had them sit down at the table taking our order or touching up on some guy...at the end of the ordeal, proving the fact its to get extra tips, one dude drops a $10 as a tip......

  6. #6
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused...waitress showed IOI's but says she's not interested

    We have restaurant/bars called the Cactus Club in our area. Lots of hot waitresses there. Our gym give them a HUGE discount and so it's easy to make rapport with them.

    When I go to Cactus Club the girls who are waitresses' will come and hang out for a while. Then when they see a "regular customer" who tips big or basically your AFC they will play hime. They tell me that straight up.

    If you want to hit up a waitress hit her up with 2 or 3 negs and then play it really cool.

    Female bartenders and waitresses get hit on a LOT. Imagine what the typical guy says to them and do the opposite if your want success. Be the Anti- AFC

  7. #7
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused...waitress showed IOI's but says she's not interested

    Also, following her to her salsa classes is a big no-no. That's creepy, and huge qualification for her.


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