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  • 2 Post By lenric
  • 1 Post By lenric

Thread: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    Just need an opinion on how to best recover from this one.

    Background: I recently started hanging out with a girl I was good friends with in highschool again after years of not seeing her. It was always just friends then, but now it was clearly flirty so I stepped it up a notch. Have been seeing her once a week or so just bars, hanging out etc and it's been a great time. A few nights ago I went back to her place and spent the night. Made out and messed around sexually all night, but did not fully bang this time (she stated we can do that "real soon". It was great she kind of blew my mind after knowing her as a friend for all these years. I do have feelings for this girl a little but I don't really know that it would work out dating, so it is what it is for now, but I'd defiantly like to keep hanging out (as friends with benefits, maybe more who knows). The next day she texted me how much fun she had and hopefully we can get together again soon.

    I let it rest for a day or two since she was busy over the wknd. Yesterday I tried to make a plan with her over text about catching dinner and taking a motorcycle ride etc instead of a bar this time. She was kind of slow to respond and when she did it was very blah and uninterested sounding. Total 180 from last week. Gave me a flaky "I'm not sure what my night will be like tomorrow" BS.

    This is when I let my emotions get the best of me and I made a mistake.. I sent her a text basically snapping saying "never mind then. I'm not dumb that's clearly a blow off.. Didn't really expect that from you, especially since the last couple times have been so fun"

    She then responded back "what?? I'm not blowing you off I just may have to work tomorrow night and can't make any comittments"

    I responded "sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just in kind of a crappy mood tonight for some reason"

    Her: "it's ok, texts can be easy to misinterpret sometimes. I've just been kind of tired and wanting to spend some time alone after this long weekend (drinking)"

    I went on to say a couple more texts which looking back, were kind of wussy about "how she makes me happy, we should get together soon, etc.

    I'm regretting the episode last night. Feels like the conversation was left in an awkward spot. I'm tempted to text her today "sorry about snapping like that last night, was in a weird mood", to try to set the tone straight.

    Good idea, bad idea, don't text her at all for awhile? Advice guys. Thanks

  2. #2
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    I know this is posted in "ask the expert", and I would like an experts advice, however anyone else's opinion or advice would be great. What would you do in this situation?

  3. #3
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    Nothing. You already apologized, so just brush it off. Don't mention it again and don't do it ever again.

    Re-start the flirting.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    Saying all of that negative stuff set you back. It makes you look needy.. It is what an AFC would say. Then apologizing for it just makes it worse.

    A confident alpha would just say, "OK dork,I am going to go for a motorcycle ride and grab some dinner."

    Take a pic of your meal and a pic with the waitress who served you the meal and send it to her. Text her something like, " Her crazy girl, you missed out on some great food and some great laughs.The ride was AMAZING"

    This shows that you don't NEED her to have a good time, you are a confident guy who does what he wants when he wants to. The pic with the waitress is social proof and it's a subtle way of showing that other women are attracted to you. It will bring out a bit of jealousy in her.

    Now, freeze her out until she makes contact with you again.

  5. #5
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    Btw, freeze out why? To punish her for his faulty behaviour?
    You guys must be dreaming about freeze outs. Freeze out because she brought you cappucino instead of coffee, freeze out because she's wearing purple instead of blue...

    Simply re-introduce a funny vibe, keep flirting with her.

  6. #6
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    Thanks guys for the replys. I'm thinking I'm just not going to text her at all for at least until the weekend. The pic idea is a good one, but I just don't see it happening tonight, but who knows.

    But yea I'm not gonna exactly freeze her out if she texts me. But at the same time she was so blah with her texts yesterday it was kind of flaky crappy behavior on her part two. I love how I always get linked up with girls that blow up my phone one minute, then act distant the next. Guess it's stuff like this that I do to cause it..

    Problem is that these girls are super eager to hang and text me when I really don't reach out to them at all. Then as soon as I start reaching out to them for plans it gets like this..

    So thinking if I don't hear from her in a few days shoot her a flirty "come hang out dork.." Type text? OR Tomorrow say something like "that motorcycle ride last night was AWESOME ;p" ?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    First off, NEVER show a girl that you've lost your composure. Especially when things are casual. You pretty much demonstrated that she's a big deal and you don't have any other options as good as her...otherwise you never would of reacted like that in the first place. A guy that has his life together and has lots of female options wouldn't get upset whether a girl flaked on him or not. He would just invite someone else.

    Secondly, NEVER text a girl back right away from the perspective of 'I need to fix my mistake'. If you feel like you messed up, it is likely that no single text is going to fix things and swing momentum. STOP THE BLEEDING. Time heals everything in these situations. Take a couple days off and wait for her to come back to you or re-engage her with something funny.

    Also, I'm not sure if going from weekly drunk meet ups at a bar to romantic dinners was the best option. You were having success with the bar scene so you probably should stick with that for now until you have slept with her. Getting her to meet you for dinner and meeting you in a bar have different implications. Not a big deal though, you encountered resistance with this idea, I'd go back to what worked in the first place.

    A couple of other tips:
    -Try not to send more than one message at a time
    -Vary the amount of time it takes for you to respond to her texts
    -Do not always text her first
    -Always try to be the one to end the conversation (At a high point in the conversation preferably)

  8. #8
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    Dixie, thanks for the time you put into that post, and good advice. A couple things though, I did sleep with her the other night did everything but full out p pumpin the v (ever play just the tip?). Also the reason I moved to the dinner ride idea is we already talke about it, and she suggested we do something different than a bar for a change. I really don't think that stuff was the issue. I should've just cooled it with the texts when she initially declined and I'm sure I would've been fine. But I blew my stack on the flaky shit. Wish I could take it back, hopefully after a few days she texts me like always and I recover. We shall see.

    I'm just wondering what a good funny flirty next text will be now? Ideas?

  9. #9
    Dizzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opinion: Should I apologize for snapping on this chick?

    Here are a couple non-needy random texts I might send a girl to get her attention:

    "The craziest thing just happened!" (Then go into a funny story after she replies)

    "Almost just vehicular man-slaughtered a jogger. Missed this lady by inches. lol"

    "Weird Phenomenon: the amount of socks that come out of my dryer never equals the amount I originally put in!"

    "Hey, I just wanted to touch base with you in case you get rich."

    "I just saw a guy knock out his two front teeth trying to drink a beer...awesome."

    "I just met someone who knew you today."

    As long as its not something boring like what most AFC guys would text with like "Hey, how are you?" or "How was your weekend?". If you are going to ask something boring add at least "dork" or "brat" to the end: "Whatcha up to brat?"

    It's better if it's true and its something that's actually from your own life. If she asks you what you're doing NEVER reply with "Not much" or "Nothing". Learn to put an interesting twist on whatever you are doing. Always try to end the conversation first too.


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