This will go down as another lesson on what not to do on my week off.
She's driving, we barely get into Montana and somehow she decided to expand on her "mysterious" facebook statuses. Well she has been sleeping with someone and his ex stayed one night and she felt betrayed. Now they have a monogamous sex-only relationship. (She has this strict rule of only one partner at a time... on the way back she described this guy as a jerk to the world except her and fears leaving in case he gets angry. Good pick. ) This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
A coworker conveniently timed the text, "How's ur trip?" I tell him. He tells me to turn around and say worked called me back. I should've. At the time I wanted to but I didn't know if I could sell the lie. Looking back on it, not difficult... anywho, the car ride was mostly quiet until we were about 45 minutes to the end. At some point we switched and she was reading a FB status of mine where I was writing how all my friends (best, close, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc) had the same point of view but I continue to remain steadfast in opposing them.
She wanted to know what it was. I told her... "You." She wanted to know why. I told her. I told her why I liked her. Then she was off! I couldn't stop her from saying how great it would be for the two of us to get together.... then she started talking herself out of it, but seemed to leave it open.
Well it wasn't. I didn't find out about that until about 48 hours later. As for those hours... We went camping. Thankfully it was cut short. Her son couldn't enjoy anything for more than 5 minutes and wanted to go home. When threatened to go home he wanted to stay. That happened with just about any topic, toys, swimming, whatever. Just about all the things I brought for activities we couldn't do in this setting, both because of her son and the layout of the terrain. Initially her son was off to the side of the tent but when it came time to sleep he wanted the middle to share the two of us.... how cute.
They are late risers. Not so much wood laying around so I literally spent 2.5 hours while they slept with a little hatchet getting firewood and built up the fire so she could cook breakfast later. Not exactly how I was intending on spending the morning. More whining from her son. She's had increasingly bad shakes and after she ate puked up her breakfast. After the third, "I don't know what to do." To which I replied each time, "Let's go to the hospital." She finally listened.
Well she's coming off one of her meds, which she took too much of when another girl belittled her a few weeks ago. I can only say what I heard. I don't know if it's true.... So next we were suppose to go to a national park. Just the two of us, but #2 her anti-emetic totally knocked her out for about a day and #1 on the ride back to her parents' house when I brought up the conversation we had about seeing each other since we would finally be alone... that's when I found out she had decided that she should be with no one (which lasts about a month or two).
On the ride back I had a little blowout. Sure, it involved the more immediate matter to me but also about her and if she really wants to change her life... Anywho, she decided she's stuck with the guy for now. She "needs me as a friend" and didn't want to complicate things and bring me down with her. Friend only isn't going to happen no matter how bad she wants me as one. And I'm not going to stick around while she's satisfying her urges in pseudo-relationships and may or may probably not be the right friend , in the right place, at the right time the next time around. Might sound like a jerk but I really haven't been able to only be a friend once my feelings reach a certain point. It takes a while for me to backtrack so... taking a break. I'm not going to put myself in an unhealthy space to try and yank someone who seems intent on staying in one.
Some people wonder break from what. Some understand what I mean. So she's not too happy. I'm not too happy. Lose-Lose situation. Oh well. I'll talk to her in a few weeks. See what's up. That's the scoop. Maybe in a few weeks I'll decide to make it permanent be Facebook-only friends if anything, IDK.