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  1. #1
    tbooker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Unique situation: HB is a deaf/mute.

    A couple of weeks ago I met a deaf/mute HB9.5 at a library while my friend was picking up a book for his nephew. I am actually interested in pursuing a relationship with this girl and she seems interested in me but because she is a deaf/mute it presents a few challenges in regards to running my game:

    1) Since I don't know sign language the only I can communicate with her is by texting (she doesn't have Facebook and uses her email mainly for work) So weather it is to ask her out on a date or if I am actually on a date with her, I have to text her to have a conversation. I'm not used to having long, drawn out conversations with text. Normally this is always done on the phone or in person. Plus its hard for me to run text game because since text is the way she communicates with who don't know sign language it would be rude for me to always take a long time to answer her I think.

    2) I am a musician and my band plays in spots all over town. I am also a DJ who works at a radio station by day and sometimes goes on the air. Normally these things are 2 huge DHV's for me but since she can't hear she doesn't care about music or the radio and is uninformed about pop culture and the music scene. Being a musician/DJ/on air radio personality is pretty much my only whole identity and my work and my hobbies and the main thing I rely on to pick up girls. But none of these means anything to her so I'm stuck.

    3) All the places I am used to taking her on dates: movies, concerts, music parties, clubs etc have no interest or meaning to her. She told me she watches the odd movie on TV at home with the closed captioneing on, but since movie theaters around here don't have that she doesn't go. She can't hear music so she doesn't care, and again since music is a big part of my life I feel like I have nothing else to offer.

    4) Since she couldn't go to concerts/movies or do most of the things her peers did when she was a kid/teen she got really into books. She is smart, very intellectual, has a phd and spends her spare time reading or being at the library. She is very respected in her field and the academic world. I am a high school drop out who hates reading with an average IQ at best. I would rather be in a club instead of a library. She has a TV but rarely watches and even then only science shows and documentaryes. She only really watches "holloywood" movies if they are based on books or something (the great gatsby)

    5) She doesnt like being touched a whole lot. I don't know if this is specific to all deaf people but since she can't hear what is going around her she likes to have space. She did let me touch her a little during our first meeting but I know it makes her uncomfortable, especially if she can't hear me coming. I am used to being all grabby with girls with there consent of course but she is not the club girls and grouppies I am used to.

    So if anyone has any advice to offer that would be great! Like I said I really like her she and she is not just a one night stand. I am in uncharted waters here and since she is smart it really intimidates me. Anyone with the same expierence would help to. Thanks guys!

  2. #2
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unique situation: HB is a deaf/mute.

    You need to go out of your comfort zone if you want this girl. Go out, improve yourself, read some books, get new different hobbies, learn sign language, etc.

    And remember, ultimately, you're not doing these for the girl. You're doing these for yourself, to be a better person in general.

    Good luck,
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  3. #3
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unique situation: HB is a deaf/mute.

    I actually hit off things twice with this deaf girl that I know of. Kiss closed her and nearly started going out with her. Going through these, here is what I know of from personal experience:

    1. Yes, it would be a good idea to know a little sign language, so then you can have basic interactions with her. She won't mind communication by phone, because that is what allows you to text. She will most likely do the same thing when she has a lot of content to tell you too.

    2. So what she can't hear you on the radio? You have a very interesting profession. Tell her about it. I told my deaf girl all about the stuff that I did in band, and she found it interesting. It's a world that she isn't familiar with, and you have an awesome perspective on it. Expose it to her.

    3. Just because she's deaf doesn't mean she doesn't like to dance. The deaf girl I know likes to dance. Teach her some dance stuff. Crank the bass up so she can feel the beat. Just do something that can expose her to your world.

    4. Have her teach you some stuff then. She's smart, so try to get interactive with her world. Try to get her to show you what gets her going the most, because nearly every person in the world loves to describe the things that they are the most passionate and interested about. For her, it's knowledge.

    5. That is not specific to deaf people. The girl I was with was not mindful of her own space, and we had some good physical contact on multiple occasions. If she's shy, then you just have to take things nice and easy. As Frank Sinatra says, it does it every time

    My only warning to you is to think about the decision you are making. A person who can hear trying to get at a person who can't usually does not end well. It's the idea of two whole different worlds colliding with each other that makes everything feel unright. Unless you are already skilled in sign language, this might not end in your favor at the moment.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

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