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  • 1 Post By Ra1d
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Thread: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

  1. #1
    Aow4321 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    Me and this girl have gone out on unnofficial dates 4 times now, whenever were out shes always grabbing my thigh, wrapping around my bicep while leaning her head into my shoulder, fork feeding me with her fork at dinner, begging me to text her when i get home if its late, compliments me, twirling her hair constantly and laughing a ton, etc etc. So naturally Im feeling her, I told her I had to talk to her when i returned from the keys and with confidence and after trying to call(she prefers text) I start this following(long) 4 text convo.

    Me-"Karen! Im back obviously. So Ive never done this over text which is why I wanted to at least call so bear with me lol. I wanted to say that I have an awesome time with you whenever were out, w/e were doing, youre just a fun girl to be around, and being a man Im just gonna be straight forward, I want to take you out to dinner sometime, I dont want to be just friends, I wasnt sure at first but I am now. So Id really like if you came to dinner with me and maybe we can actually do laser tag this time, and we can just see how things go. Way I see it, itll be a lot of fun either way "

    Her-"hey sorry i took long to reply i actually got home late last night. I really enjoy being wit u nd u make me laugh all the time, i really dont want to mess this friendship up. uve always been really nice and awesome i just really dont think theres many friends like u nd i want it to stay that way. to me bfs come nd go but friends stay forever.. nd trust me im not good wit relationships:-( "

    Me-"Yea I can sorta see where youre coming from, I really like our friendship too. Honestly I worded it wrong in my text, which is why I wanted to call :P but Im not asking for a relationship, or a girlfriend, youre thinking way far ahead. I just want to take a pretty friend to dinner, thats it, weve already gone out to eat a few times(including a poison burger..) why would this be any different? Im really trying to let you know where I stand but Im having a hard time doing it in text lol, might have to wait till the next time I see you. Just know, Im a laid back guy, so whatever you say wont bother me too much, so its alright to be honest and Im not trying to pressure you into anything, I just legit want to take you out sometime, with nothing expected before or after. We both may not be the best with relationships, but Im very good at keeping friends, no matter who they are. I think youre worth at least one dinner, dont you?"

    Her-"oh ok yea maybe i read wrong. i definitely dont mind if we keep goin out but like i said i just want to keep our friendship nd not let it change. i really have a great time wit u all the time :-) "

    So what does all this mean?? She just wants to date but nothing more, or what? Im pretty confused because she showed soooo much interest. Well talk more in person for sure but honestly Im thinking about packing up and running as fast as I can the other direction. Can anyone here make sense of this? Thanks guys

  2. #2
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    You're out,find another girl.

    Dude,don't ever do this :

    1)Express your feelings(unless you slept with her,after that you don't have to,unless she wants to hear it).
    2)Express your feelings over text.
    3)Express your feelings over text in such AFC way.

    Read the basics of any game and you'll understand what you did wrong.

    To sum it up :

    1)You sounded like you were about to cry.That's the impression i got.
    2)You're begging to meet up,even after she rejected you.
    3)She rejected you twice.

    Your value is as good as gone in her eyes.I wouldn't be surprised if she starts paying less and less attention to you from now on.

    I'm far from pro,but this approach is bad.

  3. #3
    Aow4321 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    Dam, well thats why I wanted to call. I was just asking for an official date, wasnt trying to say I like her, because in all honesty I dont like her all that much. I dont feel as hurt as the last time I was rejected. But Im confused she gave all the signs and more and then in text she just wants to be friends.. confused beyond belief, not worth it I guess.

    But yea point was not to express feelings but to say I want to take you out as somethig more than a friend.

  4. #4
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    Quote Originally Posted by Ra1d View Post
    You're out,find another girl.

    Dude,don't ever do this :

    1)Express your feelings(unless you slept with her,after that you don't have to,unless she wants to hear it).
    2)Express your feelings over text.
    3)Express your feelings over text in such AFC way.

    Read the basics of any game and you'll understand what you did wrong.

    To sum it up :

    1)You sounded like you were about to cry.That's the impression i got.
    2)You're begging to meet up,even after she rejected you.
    3)She rejected you twice.

    Your value is as good as gone in her eyes.I wouldn't be surprised if she starts paying less and less attention to you from now on.

    I'm far from pro,but this approach is bad.
    this +1 BUT I dont see a reason why would this be a fail, he found himself an awesome and seems like a trustworthy friend. Perhaps he wanted some more but PUA isnt only about sex, its about being sociable, meeting new awesome people and being the cool guy everybody likes and wants to be with, so I think he did a pretty good job in that field.
    English is my second language

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    Hey man you have been zoned.you didn't work on her signals.move on for more practice.a least she was attracted to you

  6. #6
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    I think you got zoned the second she saw the text. Honestly I might be a bit harsh but you ruined it. I never talk about deep stuff over text and even very little over the phone. Always keep deep shit in person and still never be AFC about it.she probably liked you because you did some stuff right before bit that basically brings out your AFC that you hidden so well (admit it guys, were basically AFCs and that's why we joined the forum. So Dont stress about it you'll get another chance.).
    On the other side what you said in the first paragraph was good. Bit your texts were bad. I feel that your game is all good expect for texting. Try working on that. I can figure out a million ways to get her to go out without sending a AFC text, example.

    "The hobbit just came out! We need to go see it together"
    You didnt specify weather or not its a date in this case and if you were zoned before she will think its a hangout. During the movie night you just give subtle messages that its a date and vola! Your set.
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can

  7. #7
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    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    You was doing well until you did that AFC move. Honestly I think you still have a chance to get with this girl ( as a fwb and fark buddies). You just got to accept your mistake and learn from them and now talk to her like a man! Not like her friend who just wants to be friends
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  8. #8
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    Quote Originally Posted by Ra1d View Post
    You're out,find another girl.

    Dude,don't ever do this :

    1)Express your feelings(unless you slept with her,after that you don't have to,unless she wants to hear it).
    Im going to disagree with this. In the last year I've gotten the hottest girls of my life and I always told them what I thought of them right away. You can express feelings as long as your telling them how they make you feel. Ex: "I love spending time with you. You have this aura about you that makes me smile." stuff like that. You can also tell them how beautiful they are and how you really enjoy their personality because of xxx. Women love it! Do not express your love or something of that kind however, that's a recipe for disaster. It's perfectly ok to tell a women what you think about her and why you think that. It's perfectly ok to show sexual interest in a women.

    This is what you did wrong my friend. This girl was into you and you didn't make a move in person. That was your mistake. Don't ever do that over text or the phone. If you would have contacted her, hung out, put your arm around her, then told her how awesome she is you would be fine. You could even tell her how much you want to fark her. That's fine too. I actually recommend it. If she wasn't down she would respect you more because of it. I can guarantee you that.

  9. #9
    NoctisCaelumPUA's Avatar
    NoctisCaelumPUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont get her.. Should I run? lol

    Dude never let jazz like this cramp your style. You are the prize and she is the one being qualified not you. You gave her all the power though which caused her to push you away. You started acting like her male girlfriend begging her to like you, begging her to go out with you when clearly she was already doing that but you were trying to make it more serious than that. She turned around and pinned the nail on the head. You got friendzoned which pretty much means you are now emasculated and should avoid her at all costs just next her.

    She will play head games from here on out. Don't go there. You blew it and there is no recovery I have found for the friendzone. Her bringing up a BF is a different story but her rejecting you for being a bit too forward kills all the momentum you had. Everytime I see this happen it's always the same. Guy likes girl. Guy spends time with girl. Guy gets serious too soon and tells girl he is ready to invest. Girl backs away and puts on the airs. Girl dismisses guy as a "friend" that is the worst form of rejection since how can you battle being just a "friend"? That's worse than her telling you she has a BF since at least she is not saying she doesn't like you. But yes she is saying she doesn't like you. Never try to put a girl on the spot like that.

    "Hang out, hookup, and have fun" - Coach Corey Wayne. That's some of the best advice I can give you. But the real story? She was having fun and so were you and you broke out the relationship side of things far too soon. You tried to tie her up as your girlfriend and the rule in playing the Dating Game is to NEVER make things exlusive with a girl always let them chase you and let them make things exclusive with you. Even assuming is better than "asking" you strait asked her not just out but to commit and generally when given the option most women will continue to do this. They have done it to me everytime I wrote them poems, love letters, etc. You need to remove the emotions from it and view it as hooking up with them and keeping the emotions removed until she invests. When she invests so can you. But you invested when she was not and it scared her away. Some girls aren't ready to jump right in to a relationship like that in fact I rarely meet women like that. When I play hard to get though it proves to be increasingly more and more effective. Don't let your feelings come to light until she asks. Play around with it. "When she is chasing you she won't reject you" -Coach Corey Wayne
    101 Sets, 30 #'s, 4 K-closes, 1 Date, 1 Bar Pull. My next adventure starts Summer 2014 at the Brewfest, Water Park, Bars, Clubs, etc. Getting Hotels now to prevent driving drunk so really only 2-3 times a month doing Night Game June-Oct. Lots of Day Game.


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